sb129 Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 My exMM emailed me yesterday.... We have been in NC (my choice) for nearly 18months, and NC was instigated because he turned even nastier when i finally broke up with him. He left his W about a year before we split, but our R was never harmonious. It ended terribly. I am now engaged to wonderful man, and the only good thing that came out of past R was that it helped me to appreciate how normal and great my fiance is. The email was"friendly", and talked about "old memories" but to me it seemed to serve no purpose. He told me about what his son (who I got very attached to, and in fact I probably stayed in that R longer than I should have because of the son) had been up to. Quite frankly, I don't know why he contacted me, and I wish he hadn;t. He always used my feelings for his son as leverage, and knowing him as I do, I get the feeling that there was an ulterior motive to the email, as he smarmily congratulated me on my engagement. (Yeah right). I replied curtly, and thanked him, but said that I thought that some memories should be confined to the past where they belong, and that I saw no point in us resuming contact, particularly as he didn't believe in keeping in touch with exes. (If I had received an email like that while I was with him he would have gone ballistic). Maybe I should have ignored it. My fiance has seen both the email and reply and is cool with it he thinks ex is sniffing around for a final hookup (the thought of which is ) the chance of me ever seeing the ex again is slim- I live 400miles away from him now and am moving back to my hom e country with fiance in July which is 19000miles away! I don't know... I hope he gets the message. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I replied curtly, and thanked him, but said that I thought that some memories should be confined to the past where they belong, and that I saw no point in us resuming contact, particularly as he didn't believe in keeping in touch with exes. I think he'll get the message. You made it pretty clear. I have an ex-MM too, he still lurks around. He's actually a coworker of BF! It's weird, everyone knows that everyone knows about everyone else (even his SO knows about me). And we're all curteous with each other. You handled that one well. Good going SB! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Yup, you handled it well. I'm sure he got the message but some men... they just don't. They think it's okay to pursue anyhow! I'm sure you will not succumb to it and I'm pretty sure he's boiling cause you're happier than ever now with Wonderboy! Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 well done! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sb129 Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 You handled that one well. Good going SB! Thanks guys. I did wonder if I had been a bit too harsh, but I still remember the last email he wrote me after we split which prompted me to go NC, and that was so nasty that I don't think I was too harsh. I'm sure you will not succumb to it and I'm pretty sure he's boiling cause you're happier than ever now with Wonderboy! I think so too. I actually feel like there is more closure now. And the way Wonderboy handled it (cool as a cucumber) made me love him even more... Link to post Share on other sites
dfreeman Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 But, definitely handled well by you and the boy wonder! I don't want to sidestep into my own situation (I catch myself doing that too much on here), but reading about people handle situations in a very strong and healthy manner is both an inspiration and a reminder of where I am trying to get. Good job and congrats on the obvious upgrade, dfree Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Way to go, sb! If an ex contacts, be open with who you're with! If they're any kind of mature adult, they will buy-in, aid and abet, if necessary. That's the beauty of contact with exes. Some, like in your situation and mine, make you realize exactly why they're exes! Link to post Share on other sites
atc2410 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 He's not a total cad for attempting to reconnect but he erred in mentioing old memories. Seems like rather than attempt to merely reconnect and start from today he was trying to rekindle immediately which is poor form after 18 months and in particular if he was nasty. Mind you at least you were aware of his intentions from the first post. In my opinion you handled it very well. Congrats on your engagement. Link to post Share on other sites
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