9Lives Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I am not new to this bull. I can only blame myself for continuing to get involved in this mess. blah, blah, blah Notice to all LS member...if 9Lives comes back on here talking about she has been messin with a another MM...LET MY A/SS HAVE IT....HARD LIKE A BIG BIG D. I have been off and on with this same dude for 3 years. He was suppose to be leaving, leaving, and leaving. Well there where small things that would happen between us but for the most part we were close. There are alot of in and outs to this story. Well he recently was suppose to be selling the house and he asked me to help him find another place to stay. He was spending time....all the stuff. Then he comes out with he is confused...he is torn....he dont know if he loves me ...he dont know how he feels about her....all this bullcrap It was like he was living this total lie. He was there with me but not really. Now I just feel so f'd up inside. i have tried to break up with this guy all the time...he would not let go. then the wife emails me....i almost let her have it but it is not her fault. it is all screw up
GreenEyedLady Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Go No Contact Now! Let his confused a** see how confused he is when you're not around anymore to be understanding... Do this for you! You need a stable R, with a man, not someone who's "confused"...Would you date a single guy who would say such a thing?! Don't be his safe place to fall...Be his partner and partner's sometimes have to wake their partner's up... The risk is that he goes back to his W...But if he does that, he was planning on it anyways... I'm sorry you're dealing with this...You'll get through it, be strong...Do not give in... ((HUGS & STRENGTH))
White Flower Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 I am not new to this bull. I can only blame myself for continuing to get involved in this mess. blah, blah, blah Notice to all LS member...if 9Lives comes back on here talking about she has been messin with a another MM...LET MY A/SS HAVE IT....HARD LIKE A BIG BIG D. I have been off and on with this same dude for 3 years. He was suppose to be leaving, leaving, and leaving. Well there where small things that would happen between us but for the most part we were close. There are alot of in and outs to this story. Well he recently was suppose to be selling the house and he asked me to help him find another place to stay. He was spending time....all the stuff. Then he comes out with he is confused...he is torn....he dont know if he loves me ...he dont know how he feels about her....all this bullcrap It was like he was living this total lie. He was there with me but not really. Now I just feel so f'd up inside. i have tried to break up with this guy all the time...he would not let go. then the wife emails me....i almost let her have it but it is not her fault. it is all screw up Did you read StackT33's thread? Is this your guy? OK, from now on STOP IT!!! No more MM for you. Now I'll give you a hug. I absolutely love my MM but would never do it again. It hurts too much wondering where he is and what he's doing. Is he enjoying all those trips with W or dreading them? I wouldn't like myself for hoping that he'll dread them but you get the picture. Imagining him in bed with her is the worst. I'm going off on a tangent but hoping also to remind you of just a couple of reasons to not get back into an A with a MM. Hugs and best wishes.
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Notice to all LS member...if 9Lives comes back on here talking about she has been messin with a another MM...LET MY A/SS HAVE IT....HARD LIKE A BIG BIG D. I doubt you'd allow yourself to fall for another MM so don't even worry about it. But, yes, if you do come back and post about another MM, we WILL kick your butt! Stay strong.
LIVEWIRE Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 9 LIVES.....just want to show my support. Sweetie, don;t beat yourself up for this man's actions. You have a heart and emotions. That is a beautiful thing. Some people never get the chance to show them to anyone who truly matters to them.Don't look at this as a mistake. Look at it as a GOOD experience. There is no use in being jaded over something that once was meaningful to you. This is not to say you have to repeat it...just try to be happy it happened, and now it's over. Learn from it. You'll be just fine.
AriaIncognito Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Not to post the obvious but... You were dating a MARRIED MAN. What ever made you think he'd not betray you, as he was betraying his wife with you? Just saying... It's kindof a no brainer. I'm sorry you're dealing with this now, but honestly, did you really think the outcome would be different? If they cheat once, they'll do it repeatedly. No use in getting involved in the hopes that you'll be "the one". There is no ONE for them.
Author 9Lives Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 ariawoman, You said it best. Why did I think I was so special? I need my ass kicked for real. Im moving on. I talked to this one lady who...not to her knowing fully of my situation....told me about how much she loved this man she was with for 12 years and she got the SLAP IN THE FACE from hell when she find out he was untrue to her. She experienced the same emotions I have been going thru and it was so helpful to me. Her conversation gave me the strength to delete him out my phone. I have block his email and his wife email who emailed me today. I have not told you guys about that yet but I will. I just have gotten rid of everything that he has given me so I can completely forget about him. I never want to see him again. I hate what he did. I should have known. What hurt me so much is that fact that I have tried to leave and he did not want that. Plus he should have told me he was being double minded about everything. That is what made me feel so bad. it was going to hurt but I would have been given the chance to deal with it differently. I am moving on. And you ow out there....be careful. I can tell you ....I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD HURT ME THIS WAY. I trusted him.
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 And you ow out there....be careful. I can tell you ....I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD HURT ME THIS WAY. I trusted him. I feel for you and his wife. I'm sure she never thought he'd hurt her either... Just take care of you. Don't be alone, surround yourself with family and good friends.
nextel Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 I am co-signing on this one. Take the advice. Go No Contact Now! Let his confused a** see how confused he is when you're not around anymore to be understanding... Do this for you! You need a stable R, with a man, not someone who's "confused"...Would you date a single guy who would say such a thing?! Don't be his safe place to fall...Be his partner and partner's sometimes have to wake their partner's up... The risk is that he goes back to his W...But if he does that, he was planning on it anyways... I'm sorry you're dealing with this...You'll get through it, be strong...Do not give in... ((HUGS & STRENGTH))
Author 9Lives Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 I feel for you and his wife. I'm sure she never thought he'd hurt her either... Just take care of you. Don't be alone, surround yourself with family and good friends. She contacted me talk big trash today....cause i called the house last Sunday so she waited a week and let me know she wasnt going anywhere. I told her f/u and if I wanted to I could blow her mind with some things. And I told her she better take that up with him......Deep down inside I really dont blame her...it is not her fault. I believed him so it was not her doing anything. I just had to talk trash back to mess with her. I blocked her email too cause I really dont want her to get me heated and I really start some sh..t. so I just block her too. It is all screwed up...It is wierd to be close to someone and they everything just go so bad and you cant even talk to them anymore or have anything to do with them. Have you experience that? What was that like?
Author 9Lives Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 I doubt you'd allow yourself to fall for another MM so don't even worry about it. But, yes, if you do come back and post about another MM, we WILL kick your butt! Stay strong. Thank you Whichwayisup....I know you will kick my butt. I know you will be the one to lay into my butt for real. Your a tough lady. lol. I am going to be tough. I have to be. This lady help me so much today. I will survive.
nextel Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 There an old saying that is true and it goes like this...... "If 2 women are fighting because of a man, then neither one of them has him". Word to the wise! She contacted me talk big trash today....cause i called the house last Sunday so she waited a week and let me know she wasnt going anywhere. I told her f/u and if I wanted to I could blow her mind with some things. And I told her she better take that up with him......Deep down inside I really dont blame her...it is not her fault. I believed him so it was not her doing anything. I just had to talk trash back to mess with her. I blocked her email too cause I really dont want her to get me heated and I really start some sh..t. so I just block her too. It is all screwed up...It is wierd to be close to someone and they everything just go so bad and you cant even talk to them anymore or have anything to do with them. Have you experience that? What was that like?
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 It is wierd to be close to someone and they everything just go so bad and you cant even talk to them anymore or have anything to do with them. Have you experience that? What was that like? Never experienced that. It's another thread for another time, but all I can compare that sort of crap that you're talking about to is some of the stuff from my teenaged years with my mom...Mom/Daughter crap! And some of it is still on-going.
TishPooh Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 (edited) It is all screwed up...It is wierd to be close to someone and they everything just go so bad and you cant even talk to them anymore or have anything to do with them. Have you experience that? What was that like? It was hell, just as you I am sure suspect. MM and I stopped seeing each other cause he wanted to work on his marriage. I completely respected his wishes but it hurt. I cried for weeks, swore off men, etc. I eventually got (somewhat) over him. I have to say I am no longer totally in love with him but I do love him. We eventually started talking again and are friends. I can't ask for more nor would I, he made his choice and I have to respect that just as you should. It's not going to be easy but you can't change his mind and trying to would only make it worse. Spend more time with your friends at this point, get back into your hobbies. It will take time and you will always wonder the "what if". I will tell you, it will get easier!! Hang in there! Edited February 12, 2008 by TishPooh
nadiaj2727 Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Her conversation gave me the strength to delete him out my phone. I have block his email and his wife email who emailed me today... I just have gotten rid of everything that he has given me so I can completely forget about him. I never want to see him again. Good for you. I imagine it must have taken a lot of strength and courage to do all of that. You sound very strong. I know it was a heartbreak for you, but at least you realized what a cowardly piece of dog poo he is, and you know you deserve better. You are taking a crappy situation and making it turn out for the better for your life. You are getting him out of your life, not pining away for him or trying to keep him after you've seen his true colors. I'd like to pass on the advice my ever-so-brilliant-and-amazing sister gave me (via text message lol) after I broke it off with xMM and I was feeling deceived/ naive/ guilty/ depressed. She said: "Awwww don't feel guilty, just chalk it up to experience and move on... far away from him!" In one of my mopey how-could-I-have-trusted-him moments, she sent me this text message: "You will be ok, just think of how blessed you are-- you are a [profession], you own a [possession], have the best sister ever (ha ha she's right and family... you could be a homeless person or mentally braindead or in rehab. So that should make you smile and realize that [xMM] is dumb and cannot ruin your life." I still have those text messages saved for months to remind myself of how far I've come. I hope you can apply them to your own blessings and feel a little better in your down times. But you already sound like you know what you're doing. No contact with *either* your xMM or his wife is exactly what you need to move on. Putting him out of your life and moving on on your own is the way to go. Kudos to you, yours is the most inspirational post I've read on here in a long time.
Author 9Lives Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 It was hell, just as you I am sure suspect. MM and I stopped seeing each other cause he wanted to work on his marriage. I completely respected his wishes but it hurt. I cried for weeks, swore off men, etc. I eventually got (somewhat) over him. I have to say I am no longer totally in love with him but I do love him. We eventually started talking again and are friends. I can't ask for more nor would I, he made his choice and I have to respect that just as you should. It's not going to be easy but you can't change his mind and trying to would only make it worse. Spend more time with your friends at this point, get back into your hobbies. It will take time and you will always wonder the "what if". I will tell you, it will get easier!! Hang in there
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