NotMyselfNEmore Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Life truly is a great teacher.... I used to think that I couldn't be married to my ex-husband a minute longer! I coudln't wait to break away from him. I used all kinds of reasons: 1. He didn't understand my culture 2. He didn't have the level of Education I have (I'm a college Professor) 3. He didn't like my sister 4. He didn't speak my language 5. He was too quiet 6. He was too stingy with his money 7. He was messy and I had to teach him to be a clean person 8. He wasn't a good father because he ignored our son (who adores him) 9. He wasn't as expressive as I wanted him to be 10.He had a small family and his mom overprotected him 11.He was always travelling (away for 2 and 3 months at the time) 12. He didn't have friends 13. He played way too many video games 14. He wasn't as friendly as I was 15. He was emotionally dettached... 16. He ignored me for hours, never said a word to me unless he had to Etc... etc....etc.... I could go on with all kinds of "reasons" (I now call them excuses) to describe my ex H. In the 2 years we've been divorced, I've dated different kinds of men. I've tried dating some of the same social class as I'm acustomed to. I've dated men with the same level of education as me. I've dated men who are totally emotional, clingy, way to picky when it comes to cleaning their houses... etc.... etc... etc... Just recently, I broke up with someone I had been seeing for a while. These were my reasons: [COLOR=black][FONT=Lucida Casual]1. He acted as if he knew everything about my culture 2. Just because he had a good education he thought he knew it all 3. He hit on my own sister while vacationing in Florida 4. He butchered my language everytime he made an attempt to say something 5. He wouldn't shut up! Not even in his sleep!! 6. He NEVER had money with him. I always had to buy his lunch 7. He was extremely messy. Messier than I would ever imagine a human being!! Even his daughter was as nasty as he was. And he always made excuses for her. 8. He tried to act as if he was a good father but his daughter hates him 9. He overreacted to absolutely everything! I mean, this man was made out of emotions. 10.He had a crazy family. His own family hates him. 11.He never went anywhere. He didn't know anything about geography! 12. He had too many friends and they were all trashy 13. He watched waaaaaay too much porn 14. He was too friendly. In fact, my friends didn't like him because he was nosey and he began to treat my best friends as "his" best friends too. 15. He was emotionally attached!! He was always on my face. I didn't have 1 minute to enjoy by myself. I was expected to spend every single minute I had free with him. And he would show up at my work and pester me and keep tabs on my time. 16. He would search my purse, ask me 1,000 questions in a matter of 5 minutes, he wanted to know who I was speaking with on the phone, how long it would take me to drive home, how long I would take at Target, what I had plan to do with my friends and for how long.... aaaarg!!! So.... my point is. The grass wasn't greener at the other side of the fence after all. Hopefully, my ex husband will reconsider getting back together with me.... I'm trying :( [/FONT][/COLOR]
kalena9488 Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Me and my ex husband were married for 17.5 years had three kids and both had careers in the U.S. Navy. We were married since I was 19. I got alot of attention and never really knew how to handle it so, I always thought their was something or someone better than what I had at home. So, I finally decided to divorce my XH. We've been divorced for 5 years now, we are both retired from the Navy and both have other careers. I settled back in the same area I grew up in and started dating my high school boyfriend (the one I always thought I let get away). Well, low and behold we dated for 3 years got married and have been married for 2 years. He treats my children absolutely horrible and I just couldn't sit by and watch it anymore and he didn't think he did anything wrong. So, I finally left. I'm getting a divorce and me and my XH are getting back together. When we were married we had little problems but really nothing big except I thought I wanted something different come to find out he is what I wanted and needed all along. We both just thank God that we aren't too proud to realize that we still love each other and were always good togehter. Good Luck to you! My best advice would be for you to admit everything you've done wrong and tell him how you've realized it and how much you really do love him. Me and my daughter (who is a senior this year) are moving to FL to be with him and my two son's. She will be starting college there in the Fall.
Author NotMyselfNEmore Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 My best advice would be for you to admit everything you've done wrong and tell him how you've realized it and how much you really do love him. Me and my daughter (who is a senior this year) are moving to FL to be with him and my two son's. She will be starting college there in the Fall. Thank you Kalena... I've done that already and he says he forgives me but I'm taking it slow because I want him to know that I'm not doing it because I'm lonely but because I do love him and miss him a lot. Your story gives me a lot of hope. Thanks again
Woggle Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I don't mean to insult you but if I were your husband I would never in a million years go back. How can he be sure you won't do the same thing again? Once a woman wants me out of her life she better be sure because once that door is closed it is closed for good.
Author NotMyselfNEmore Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 Well, time changes people. Thank God we are all different. I'm lucky enough that we are going to work things out. He's not free from sin either Woggle. There's a lot I didn't post because I don't like to point fingers at him. I only wanted to share my own realization about MY reasons for leaving him. He had his own reasons and they were very selfish too. We're just two lucky people who decided to try again. Everyone's got to have a second chance. Thanks for your opinion. Although not shared, I value it.
bigmanpayne Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 its refreshing to see people admit to making mistakes like that. thanks for sharing, and i hope everything works out.
Author NotMyselfNEmore Posted February 12, 2008 Author Posted February 12, 2008 Yup... ex hubby came for the weekend to spend time with our son and I invited him to stay with us. It was like old times. We went out everywhere. He even took me out to dinner Sat. night. All we did was talk about our son and his plans for college but at least it was better than arguing or silence! I'll keep y'all posted
guessjeans Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Has your ex husband been dating during these 2 yrs? in a relationship? Does he realize too that he doesnt want anyone else but you? guess
PWSX3 Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 I also agree that people change, there hobbies change, types of foods they eat change, there likes & dislikes change. Sometimes it takes a separation or a break from each other to help you realize that you do love that person. Sure the grass is greener on the other side because it has been fed with bullsh*t....... Glad that you are taking it slow & hopefully things will work for the best.
kalena9488 Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 I also agree that people change, there hobbies change, types of foods they eat change, there likes & dislikes change. Sometimes it takes a separation or a break from each other to help you realize that you do love that person. Sure the grass is greener on the other side because it has been fed with bullsh*t....... Glad that you are taking it slow & hopefully things will work for the best. OMG your statement about bullsh*t made me laugh. Never thought of it like that but you have a point.:laugh:
Recommended Posts