jdeedee Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 A month after I broke up with my ex I emailed her apologizing, honestly stating my errors and telling her I missed her. I am now anxiously waiting, hoping and praying that she will respond with similar feelings. She had been cold the one time we saw each other during the month, and it is very possible she has shut herself off towards me. Ive been stuck with my best friend's family for the past 10 days, missing her, watching friends get engaged and I just want to try again. I need someone to let me know that there is hope and to remind me that it took a full month for me to realise my mistakes, it may take some time for her to absorb and reply to my emails. I need patience and hope.
jerbear Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 Just be yourself and back off. I hate to say this, don't have a high expectation on getting back together. Wish you the best of luck.
ahc Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 There is always hope. Just be sincere and receptive to what ever reaction you get from her. If it isnt the one you want right now, dont freak out on her. She may come around. It may not be that simple for her and the unresolved feelings that she has. Be understanding and listen.
brothermartin Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 Why did you break up with her? Is it a reason that is really hard for her to forgive? Did you cheat or something similar? If your answer is yes, sorry man. Don't hold out for her to come back.
Author jdeedee Posted December 31, 2007 Author Posted December 31, 2007 Our relationship ended after I moved out of her family's house to my own place. It had been long in coming, I was living with her after losing my old apartment and never accepted it as home. She wanted to move out with me and at the time I wanted to slow things down a bit. She told me she wanted a stable lifestyle and we were fighting too much, our time was being split etc. We ended it and since then I've just regretted that I lied to myself and didn't realise I was ready to begin settling. I told her all this in my email.
jerbear Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 I told her all this in my email. I hope all goes well with the reply. Just don't expect an immediate response; it maybe a few days to never. Just an FYI. Do wish you the best.
brothermartin Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 Our relationship ended after I moved out of her family's house to my own place. It had been long in coming, I was living with her after losing my old apartment and never accepted it as home. She wanted to move out with me and at the time I wanted to slow things down a bit. She told me she wanted a stable lifestyle and we were fighting too much, our time was being split etc. We ended it and since then I've just regretted that I lied to myself and didn't realise I was ready to begin settling. I told her all this in my email. So, basically, you got cold feet due to living with her in a stressful environment and cut her lose. Was it an agreement on her side too or not?
Author jdeedee Posted December 31, 2007 Author Posted December 31, 2007 I wanted us to move back to dating one another, spending the nights at each others houses etc but not 'living together.' My best friend of 20 year and the person whose house I'm living in doesn't like her, we play music and she didn't support us calling it unrealistic, she was also slow to consider even spending the night at the new house. I tried at the time to spend as much time with her as I could but in a heated argument I blurted out 'I'm not ready for marriage.' We broke up a week later after she got pretty cold with me, no sex etc. We sat down, she told me she needed stability and didn't support my idea of music. I said that we needed to break up then but after a month of thinking ice realised she is right, I'm getting too old to live pipe dreams. I never mentioned the music in my email too her, I should have but its too late now. Hopefully if she replies I can bring it up. I hate saying if she replies, I really was looking forward to patching things up but its been a day now and no response.
Author jdeedee Posted January 1, 2008 Author Posted January 1, 2008 She still hasn't replied. Yesterday was one of the hardest days I've had in a while, I got home from vacation and didn't have anyone to turn to. I don't know why she's ignoring me. I wish she would at least reply with something instead of this cold shoulder. I admitted a lot of wrongs in that email and it really took some strength to send it, its pretty scary to tell someone you miss them and hear nothing in reply. It's not like we don't work and go to the same school, I'm going to pass by her sometime and to know she got this email and just ignored it... I'm hurt.
jerbear Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Hang in there. If you need to vent, vent here. Just not at her.
Jilly Bean Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 JDD, you just need to remember that sometimes we can hurt people and it is completely irreparable. If she was that devastated by you breaking up with her, no amount of truth or begging can change that. Hope for the best, expect the worst.
Author jdeedee Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 JDD, you just need to remember that sometimes we can hurt people and it is completely irreparable. If she was that devastated by you breaking up with her, no amount of truth or begging can change that. Hope for the best, expect the worst. I was a fool to let her go.
jerbear Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 You're not the only fool. Live and learn, that is what we can do; make sure the next right one, doesn't get away.
Author jdeedee Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 Hang in there. If you need to vent, vent here. Just not at her. I don't think I've ever been the kind of person to vent at someone, I just foresee major awkwardness when I finally see her in person come the end of January.
Author jdeedee Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 You're not the only fool. Live and learn, that is what we can do; make sure the next right one, doesn't get away. If theres any lesson to learn I think that would be exactly it. All I can do is wait, hope, and try to live my life.
Author jdeedee Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 So after talking to a friend about his own personal problems I've started feeling foolish for asking my ex to come back to me. I don't even know, I just feel like she probably thinks less of me now. I know, it's in the past and that's life... we can't change our old behaviours, I just wanted to put it out there and see what everyone else thinks. Is it just a matter of who cares what she thinks. I obviously can't undo what I did and she obviously isn't going to reply and accept me back at this point. I guess that's why NC is pushed so hard around here.
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