Ali4134 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 I have a problem...I think. Here we go. I had been with my boyfriend for 3 years when he and I broke up because we were fighting and having problems. In retrospect I know now that we were just too young to be together to begin with. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 17. Enough said. So we broke up for 8 months and during that time i slept with a few people and fell really hard for a guy named bobby. Things ended on a sour note when i slept with someone else(even though he had been sleeping with multiple girls while he was sleeping with me.) He was very upset and then after one of the other girls told me to get lost, I did. A few months after that ended I decided to get back with my ex. We found an apartment and moved in together. In retrospect this was a bad idea. I know now we only got back together because it was safe. It was all we knew and all we were comfortable with. About a year and a half after we got back together things were going bad all over again. He was always more concerned with his video games and computer than with me. I always felt ignored and I NEVER felt pretty. I think the worst of all of it was that we hadn't had sex in 3 months. I'm only 22 years old. There was no passion, no connection that you need when you're in love. He is truely a good person. He was always kind and understanding. He just had problems with communication and when it came right down to it, we love each other, but arn't in love. So on my birthday(Oct. 5th 2007) I broke his heart. So during the whole 3 years since i met Bobby I had thought about him every day. Some days completely innocent like, I wonder how he is or I would just see something small that reminded me of him. Other days it would be sexual, very sexual. Either way he popped up at least once a day. Now during the past year he had been deployed in Iraq. So one day I got a call from him. He just called to talk and see how I was. He called a few more time through the year and wrote me on myspace a lot. In August he was on leave and came to visit and we had lunch. As soon as I saw him I knew I was in trouble. My emotions flooded me and I wanted to jump him. i didn't though, he had gotten married, for conveinience, and I was still with my boyfriend. I invited him over while my bf was at work and we talked, yes, just talked. So he went back to Iraq and I tried to dismiss everything. After that he wrote to me and told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me. I was excited and worried at the same time. We kept talking and at almost the same time I broke up with my bf and he divorced his wife. When he arrived home after his deployment that very same night he got a hotel room and I met him there. I wasn't there for more than 30 seconds before he had all my clothes off. It was amazing. I have never felt that much pleasure. After that night we have spent almost every day together, going through his divorce and my break-up together. He has told me he loves me and I do love him. I am moving 2 hours away and he can't decide whether he wants to go with me or not. I don't believe we are IN love, and I don't think he does either. He sleeps around too much and our timing is horrible. I wish it wasn't, but the fact still remains. Now my biggest dilema is that lately, I have been addicted to sex. I want it all the time almost. I have to beg for it from him, and he knows he has the upper-hand. I love who he is, but I also don't think I will find someone to do what he does in bed. It's amazing and so is our chemistry. I'm attractive, I can find men, but any that are decent people and amazing in bed. I just don't know. Especially with my sex problem. maybe i should have just been born a man. Does anyone have any like stories or advice?
heatherd1201 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 well, having never met you or know who you are I'd have to say that you need to take a BIG step back and look at everything thats going on. Can we say rebound????? Its hard to call it a rebound when youve known him for several years and been with him before, but you were with him the day BEFORE you broke you boyfriends heart werent you? ( how I know that without having met you Im not sure......) And almost every day after that self admittedly. I think that you need to learn what it means to be alone. I say this even though I have never done it. I had the pleasure of going from one of the crappiest relationships Ive ever had to meeting the man I am going to marry within 4 months of ending it with the first.........I do still wish I had time to learn who I was without a man. Who I was without someone else to depend on. I think that you need that too. Albeit you are moving 2 hours away and moving close to family, you are also removing yourself from the situation (and youre friends who I'm sure will miss you dearly) and NO i do not believe that he should be considering moving there as well. You have just ended things with your boyfriend and he has just ended things with his wife, A relationship started under those conditions is bound to fail without the proper healing. Now about the sex thing.....i just dont know what to say. Be a sex addict, but be safe!!! i myself have no idea what it is like to be addicted to it and needing it every day.......but if you do, just be safe!!
Author Ali4134 Posted October 18, 2007 Author Posted October 18, 2007 First, I didn't sleep with him until after I was broken up, and second I ran away when I left my family. Now I'm going back. I think I need advice from people who don't know me and arn't biased.
heatherd1201 Posted October 18, 2007 Posted October 18, 2007 Did you not see that in my response I didnt say once that you shouldnt go? I think that it would be good for you to be closer to your family that you can lean on for love and support. I'll stop giving you my opinion now i guess.
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