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Posted

I tried to post this earlier, but I'm not sure it worked.

 

Basically, my boyfriend and I were very much in love, but began to see things differently in our relationship in the past few months. After a long and very messy break up, he has basically disappeared for the past 2 weeks.. I tried to get in contact a lot initially but decided to leave it, as he clearly wants to move on and while I love, miss, hope he gets in touch soon, and in some ways, want him back (even thought I doubt we ever will be together again).. I'm happy that he's trying to work things out for himself and be happy.

 

I struggled with a borderline eating disorder (mainly to do with stress) a few years ago, but recovered fine, and never looked back. Due to a few things going on at the moment, without realising myself, a lot of old habits returned, I have lost a lot of weight again, and my boyfriend and I argued a lot about my unhealthy attitude towards food and my reactions to stress etc. Being in denial about it, I blocked him out when the issue came up and got angry. Looking back, it probably made things ten times worse.

 

In the time that we have broken up, I have been medically diagnosed with an eating disorder, and am attempting recovery again. My current problem is this... even though we are broken up, and not accountable to each other any more, I don't know if I should be letting him know about the diagnosis?

 

To clarify - by no means would I be using it as a way to get back into his life, and nor am I expecting, or really wanting, him to come back and help me. I don't think I would even expect a response from him.. but given how worried it made him, and how much he encouraged me to be healthy, I don't know if the 'right thing' to do is to tell him, or, as he is no longer my boyfriend, I would only be making things worse for him in letting him know?

 

Help!!! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Posted

OHHHH.. I was thinking erectile disfunction...

 

Eating Disorder.

 

Tough one. By telling him you are breaking the all important "No Contact" rules and I suspect subconsiously hoping to get a reaction from him and eventually get back together with him (you can say you aren't all you want but look at your post. In the first paragraph you say you love him, miss him etc..)

 

It is AWESOME first of all that you acknowledge and are getting help from this issue but .... I'm going to have to say... don't say anything to him about it. I think it's probably best right now to work on yourself.

 

Perhaps in 6 months or so, revisit how you feel about telling him and/or contacting him but for right now, no.

 

Just my opinion.

 

Oh, and don't "attempt" recovery. DO recover and do it for yourself.

Posted
I tried to get in contact a lot initially but decided to leave it, as he clearly wants to move on...

I'd stick with this. You shouldn't be looking to get anything from him, and he doesn't want anything from you. Leave it that way. It's not about him any more; focus on yourself and get well.

 

Good luck.

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