brightsky000 Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 So a brief little intro on the situation with the guy: Randomly because really really good friends. We decided we had crushes. A month later we finally kiss. Since, its been three months and things have progressed beyond kissing. And now I don't know what's going on because he talks about how much he likes me. He wants to get an apartment together. He is in contact with friends and relatives that he hasn't met online through myspace, etc. BUT.....he sends lots of mixed signals. Here is why I think I deserve better: 1.) One of his best friends is a girl. She likes him a WHOLE lot and he knows this. Yet, when she needs to crash at his apartment, he lets her sleep with him because he feels bad telling her no when she follows him to his bed. I approached him about it asking what was going on. He said absolutely nothing, that he isn't attracted to her like that at all. BUT...when I'm around her with him she is all over him. Touching him, hugging him, rubbing his back, stomach, etc. while making eye contact with me the whole time. Fun times, I know. 2.) He does this with everyone around him, but it really pisses me off because he is always talking or texting someone on his phone. 3.) He likes to bring up how his ex-girlfriend is trying to be friends with him again. He actually called me while he was waiting on her when they met up recently. Then texted me during it saying how ackward it was. 4.) The girl best friend doesn't like me and when he hangs out with her, she won't let he get in text me or talk to me on the phone. And he listens to her. 5.) One day we were making out and the best friend called to go workout at the gym, he actually stopped and said, "I don't want to, but I gotta go. I promised." 6.) He has lots of friends that are girls that I sense he leads on. I flat out asked him if he was leading me on and he said "no, unless I'm leading you to me." 7.) Yesterday was Valentines Day....after three months you would think you would get an acknowledgement of the holiday....and I dont' mean a card or gift, but a "happy valentines day." When I wished him one he totally avoided it. My guess is that his best friend locked him into some plans and he didn't want to bring it up in fear I would mention something about hanging out or whatever. Not even a "Happy Valentines Day." He found out I sent his best guy friend a valentine and he got mad, asking about his valentine. I told him i didn't send him one because he's been so hot and cold. We got into a big discussion about what is going on. No conclusion was made except that we both feel the same about each other and are just really shy. BUT....he also said that I'm not affectionate enough and that the fact that I've never been in a serious relationship worries him. ok, sorry that was a lot. But I'm a very focused person with huge goals that I've set for myself my entire life. I just turned 25 and its true, I've never been in a serious relationship because I just haven't made the time to allow myself to seriously date and too attached to someone. Now I have a lots of emotions invested in this guy but its all so exhausting, the lack of communication. I feel like I deserve better because I try to make it work and I try to be more affectionate. What do I do?
justagirlforever Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 Bottom line? Yes - you deserve better. The fact that you're even asking shows that you know you do. He's (ab)using you. If it starts of like this, what kind of a base is that to work on? A non existent one of you ask me. Move on as soon as possible.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 i totally agree..lose this guy forever!!! there are sooo many reasons why this guy sounds like a total loser, but seriously the one that takes the cake is his best friend sleeping in his bed with him. i would flip out if my bf was sleeping in the same bed as some girl! he feels too bad to tell her no?? that is the biggest bs i have ever heard!!! i wouldnt be surprised if this dude is cheating on u with her. it sounds like they have more than a close friendship going. its only been 3 months and this guy sounds like he doesnt even care about u. after 3 months he should AT LEAST tell u happy v-day. i think even a card and some sort of little present. but anyway move on and dump this guy asap!!!
confucious Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 I'm with them Brightsky - get out while it is still easy(er). What you're finding is a lack of respect and definite improper behaviour from one who claims to care about you. I am going to go out on a limb here and assume, but could it be that all his actions CONVINCE you something is not right but that when you talk to him what little he does say makes you feel special, as if he cares, and that all your worries are silly and foundless. WORDS are cheap, Brightsky - go by your gut, go by how you feel with his TREATMENT of you and definitely NOT what he says. Some people can say all sorts of things they don't mean, and then there are some people who really MEAN these things but are STILL not healthy for you. People change very little, and when they do it is not because we want them to. Maybe he has self-esteem issues that make him need women around to feel good about himself. Maybe a lot of things. But if you feel like this after only three months...three more months = twice as much pain. Sorry to say but it sounds like you should get out while the gettings good. GOOD LUCK!
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