aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 So my wife of 3 years (been together for 6) got fed up with our constant arguing. We both took each other forgranted. Last week I found she had a different cell phone that some guy had given her just to call him. She still cries whenever she sees me, then tells me she hates me, then wants to make sure I'm eating ok, then tells me she's sorry she said she hated me, then tells me she's confused, then leaves for the weekend with the other guy. Any ways this person she is seeing was a regular customer of hers at a club (exotic dance and when I mean he was a regular I mean he had been going there for a long time 2 to 3 days a week 200 to 300 a night). She would tell me how he would profess his undying love for her and cry when she left for the night. Now she's seeing him right after calling it quits with me and when I asked her if she loves him, she says "I think so." She tells me it's not a rebound and that she really is in love and can see a big future with this person. I'm finding it soooo hard to move on and can't ever remember it ever being this hard. She says she'll never take me back, but tearing away from her is the hardest thing I've ever done. Any easy ways to cope?
notmakingsense Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Coping is never easy -- it is just something that you have to tough through and give time. I would look at this breakup as a blessing in disguise.... she is obviously an unstable and untrustworthy person, and you don't need that in your life. Focus on friends, work, hobbies -- get things together for yourself and try to figure out what kind of woman would compliment you best. Then, when you are ready, start dating/trusting women again. In the mean-time, avoid all contact with her -- it may set you back.
Author aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted January 21, 2007 Author Posted January 21, 2007 I kept going over and over the smallest sign that she still cared for me. I think I was holding onto some hope, that and the fact that I was still living with her for nearly a month after the split. Every time I saw her my heart broke again as if I was starting over from square one. But reading all the posts on coping and break up/divorce plus all the advice from friends and family make it clear that NC is the only way to go.
cityboy Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 I would look at this breakup as a blessing in disguise.... she is obviously an unstable and untrustworthy person, and you don't need that in your life. Focus on friends, work, hobbies -- get things together for yourself and try to figure out what kind of woman would compliment you best. Then, when you are ready, start dating/trusting women again. I love that quote for some reason. Really speaks to me. I think a lot of us need the perspective to determine that what we're pining for really isn't worth it.
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