Is there a need for "why"?

[wmrjw]

Hi guys,

 

My girlfriend broke up w/ me December 1st. We had been dating for about 6 months (living together after 2)...she has a child, we moved into fast... there was many arguments, all in all there was probably a million different little reasons why we broke up. But regardless, I really miss her. For those out there that read my other thread you have seen the longest i've been able to hold up the NC was about 2 weeks.

 

Well, the holidays are done and over with and when they passed w/o her trying to contact me i started to feel a little insecure. So, i put Eamon's "**** it" song on myspace (knowing that she would see it) and took down all our pictures. She responded by blocking me totally on myspace. The next day, (this is early this week)...she shows up at the gym where we work out. I exchange gradual hellos and non chalantly tell her that i noticed she blocked me.... she responds w/ "i noticed your song and it seemed like you were trying to hurt me".... I responded w/ " well, yeah, my i was trying to hurt you a little....i wanted you to feel 1/10th of what i've been feeling ever since you kicked me out of the house and out of your life........she didn't respond.

 

Anyway, long story short, i go to her house..knock on the door and plainly tell her that life is too short for these games. I told her I had to know whether or not she wanted to be w/ me because i'm at the point where i have to move on. (it's been a month!) I told her how i want to get married and have kids and I know she's a great mom and i love her. I said i would go as slow as she wanted if i knew she wanted to be with me. She gets teary eyed and thinks for a long time while i'm standing there. Mind you, i never cheated on this girl, embraced her daughter like she was my own, and both of them were my best friends. Oh and did i mention she kept my dog? (couldn't take it away from the little girl) Well... anyways... she looks me in the eye after awhile and says, "I think it's best if you move on".....

 

Now at this point i plainly say, "thank you for being honest. Take care of yourself and take care of that little girl".... i walk away and haven't talked to her since. (been a whopping 2 days ) anyway... do you think i should have asked why? In the back of my mind i'm not sure whether it was the argueing, perhaps another guy, etc? I can't pinpoint one thing that it could be.

 

OR, do you think I did the right thing by just walking away because even if i knew there was another guy or it was the argueing, etc (whatever reason) it still doesn't change the result. Bottom line is she doesn't want to be with me.

 

In a way it was good to hear this from her straight, knowing that i went all out and got an honest answer from her....this will help me move on... but it also hurts to have someone i so deeply cared about (and loved) throw me out like i was nothing.

 

Thoughts? Opinions? Rants?

[Guest]

It had to hurt to hear her tell you that, but bravo for your response. Stick to your NC. You don't need a reason, she has the whys but you don't need them. It could be another guy, who knows. Put the whys away and let her be. Give her time to wonder why. She will wonder why you aren't calling. Why you left with your head high, Why she isn't on your mind. Get the point. Anyways be proud you walked it will benefit you in the end.

[Double D]

Hey Wmrjw!

 

I think you kind of answered your own question. She said you should move on, knowing why would just make you ask loads of questions.

 

If you think your strong enough to delve that much deeper into it then do so, so that you can be at peace with it all but ultimatley it seems she doesnt want to be with you anymore, so you need to remember what a nice guy you are, take pride and confidence in yourself and start getting over her.

 

Make sure you take the time to get over properly though, so this will allow you to have an even better ralationship with the next lucky gal.