yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I was just looking at some gifts I need to wrap. I bought his kids a few things , I told him about it. I know he cant say who they are from, but I did want to get them something. Do I wrap them, or just give them to him and have him wrap them? I know everyone is going to say im evil that I went and got them gifts. But I really wanted to. They are great kids Link to post Share on other sites
oyster Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I was just looking at some gifts I need to wrap. I bought his kids a few things , I told him about it. I know he cant say who they are from, but I did want to get them something. Do I wrap them, or just give them to him and have him wrap them? I know everyone is going to say im evil that I went and got them gifts. But I really wanted to. They are great kids wrapping them is good idea, as a man, I don't. I just give the gift as is. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 You have more to lose by giving his kids gifts than you will gain. Donate those gifts to kids in need ASAP and tell him you did it with his kids in mind. What a thoughtful gift that would be to him and his kids. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Not that you're looking to gain anything, but giving gifts to his kids could hurt you. You don't want another D-day do you? I certainly don't want to see you get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Sorry, I misread your post. You're not asking if you should give the gifts, you're asking if you should wrap them. In that case, I would say wrap them. I'm sure you can wrap them beautifully. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Im not looking to gain anything. I really wanted to do this. I dont want another D-day for his kids. I want that to be something between them two to discuss with the kids. I want it done the right way. I actually just dropped some gifts for toys for tots last night. I just thought he could say they were from him and thats why I wasnt sure to wrap them. He was upset with me that I went and got them some things , because he said he didnt want me hurt knowing the kids wouldnt know they were really from me. I really am not worried about that. They are really great kids and I thought about them when I was out shopping. This is so tough...Some days Not that you're looking to gain anything, but giving gifts to his kids could hurt you. You don't want another D-day do you? I certainly don't want to see you get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I just don't want to see you get hurt. Im not looking to gain anything. I really wanted to do this. I dont want another D-day for his kids. I want that to be something between them two to discuss with the kids. I want it done the right way. I actually just dropped some gifts for toys for tots last night. I just thought he could say they were from him and thats why I wasnt sure to wrap them. He was upset with me that I went and got them some things , because he said he didnt want me hurt knowing the kids wouldnt know they were really from me. I really am not worried about that. They are really great kids and I thought about them when I was out shopping. This is so tough...Some days Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I assume you would want me to give you my honest opinion, so here goes. I think that giving him gifts to give to his kids and say there are from him is a mistake. If I was his wife, I would question that. We talk about what to give our kids. If my H came home with some gifts that he bought alone, it would be a red flag. Especially since I know that he has had an affair. I'm more sensitive to things that are out of the ordinary. I know you like the kids and want to get them gifts, but this could be dangerous for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 I know you dont...Thanks I just don't want to see you get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 I thought about that also. I didnt want anything starting over this holiday. He told me that it isnt uncommon for them to get things on their own for the kids. Its the major gifts that they discuss. Its only small things I got them. I guess I really need to think about this and talk with him. thanks herenow I assume you would want me to give you my honest opinion, so here goes. I think that giving him gifts to give to his kids and say there are from him is a mistake. If I was his wife, I would question that. We talk about what to give our kids. If my H came home with some gifts that he bought alone, it would be a red flag. Especially since I know that he has had an affair. I'm more sensitive to things that are out of the ordinary. I know you like the kids and want to get them gifts, but this could be dangerous for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Do you know his kids personally ? If not then you shouldn't be giving them gifts as you don't know them. If you don't know them and you are giving them gifts then you are most likely giving them to create the connection between you and him thru the kids.. But if you do and would like to give them to him then give them wrapped in a gift bag(s) and unmarked.. that way he could rewrap them in his own paper. I have personally been on the receiving end of an OW giving gifts.. and as a child it sucks if they sooner or later figure out where they came from.. and the kids always do.. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I just realized why this bothers me so much. You're putting him in the position of him having to lie to his kids. Please don't do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Im also against the idea yousave me. They arent your children (yet) to spoil. Please do not get involved with the children until that day comes when he brings you into the family. Your intentions are sweet, but you really mustn't do this at this time. Please reconsider. Going back to Christmas 2003, The OW bought by daughter an EzBake oven and some dollar store toys. WH brought them home in a Walmart bag to try to fool me that they came from him. Like I wouldnt notice the $1 thingy at the top of the packaging? Where is the receipt? You lost it? I knew he was lying about the origins of the gifts and I know for a fact that he hates toys and refers to them as plastic junk and gives money in leiu of toys as a creature of habit. This is one of the first inklings I had that something was amiss with my WH. My big red flag. I was very angry that WH "friend" would manipulate my children with toys. I sat my daughter down and told her the intentions behind these gifts were "misplaced" and together we pitched them off the front deck. I will teach my daughter to cook in my own kitchen. Seeing EzBake ovens now makes me want to hurl . Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 I really sincerecly do not mean any bad intentions with these gifts. Oh god that honestly makes me sick. I had nothing but well intentions, with nothing in return NOTHING. I love to give gifts and that I can especially this time of year. With the holidays being about the kids. I have some things to think about. Thanks, like herenow said im asking him to lie to the kids. I dont want him doing that. Its wrong. And if I love him I wouldnt want him in that position. To lie to them. Oh boy , I hear a talk with me and him coming very soon. BRB Im also against the idea yousave me. They arent your children (yet) to spoil. Please do not get involved with the children until that day comes when he brings you into the family. Your intentions are sweet, but you really mustn't do this at this time. Please reconsider. Going back to Christmas 2003, The OW bought by daughter an EzBake oven and some dollar store toys. WH brought them home in a Walmart bag to try to fool me that they came from him. Like I wouldnt notice the $1 thingy at the top of the packaging? Where is the receipt? You lost it? I knew he was lying about the origins of the gifts and I know for a fact that he hates toys and refers to them as plastic junk and gives money in leiu of toys as a creature of habit. This is one of the first inklings I had that something was amiss with my WH. My big red flag. I was very angry that WH "friend" would manipulate my children with toys. I sat my daughter down and told her the intentions behind these gifts were "misplaced" and together we pitched them off the front deck. I will teach my daughter to cook in my own kitchen. Seeing EzBake ovens now makes me want to hurl . Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 aren't his kids teenagers too? Older teens? I agree with everyone else especially with the causing him to lie to his kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 12 & 15 are their ages aren't his kids teenagers too? Older teens? I agree with everyone else especially with the causing him to lie to his kids. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 12 & 15 are their ages what you buy them. I need additional ideas. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Are you serious? what you buy them. I need additional ideas. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Are you serious? lol yes that age is impossible to buy for and if you thought of something neat i'd like to know what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
peacelove Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Don't give in to it yousaveme. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I really sincerecly do not mean any bad intentions with these gifts. Oh god that honestly makes me sick. I had nothing but well intentions, with nothing in return NOTHING. I love to give gifts and that I can especially this time of year. With the holidays being about the kids. I have some things to think about. Thanks, like herenow said im asking him to lie to the kids. I dont want him doing that. Its wrong. And if I love him I wouldnt want him in that position. To lie to them. Oh boy , I hear a talk with me and him coming very soon. BRB I know you didn't. I certianly didnt men to freak you out. I only told you my story because the OW in my case did have bad intentions and it hurt alot and it hurt the kids too and I wanted to spare you that scenario. Take care, peace out. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Don't give in to it yousaveme. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. i am not being sarcastic. I am quite serious.everyone keeps asking what to get my kids and i can't think of a thing under a hundred. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks for seeing that. And thanks for telling me how it could be looked at. I know you didn't. I certianly didnt men to freak you out. I only told you my story because the OW in my case did have bad intentions and it hurt alot and it hurt the kids too and I wanted to spare you that scenario. Take care, peace out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 That age is expensive. But yet I have a niece who is 2. And two nephews who are 8 & 4. Hardly anything they wanted was under a $100 i am not being sarcastic. I am quite serious.everyone keeps asking what to get my kids and i can't think of a thing under a hundred. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I have personally been on the receiving end of an OW giving gifts.. and as a child it sucks if they sooner or later figure out where they came from.. and the kids always do.. I was too and it really does suck! We (my sisters and I) thought she had alot of nerve to do that and to top it off they were cheap! I still remember exactly what those gifts were and I still feel the same way now that I did then. She only did it to hit a nerve with my mom or to impress him. He was foolish for bringing them home to us. They weren't appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts