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What not to do list while in NC or seperation


ThumbingMyWay

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ThumbingMyWay

I cant seem to find this list that has been floating around here....I think it was a cut and past from some one.....cant remember who posted it or where it was posted...

 

AND NO this is not for me...its for a freind.

 

WWIS??? Lady Jane...can you help me out here???

 

it was a list of like 40 or so things not to do...or to do....somehting like that...

 

help :confused:

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I cant seem to find this list that has been floating around here....I think it was a cut and past from some one.....cant remember who posted it or where it was posted...

 

AND NO this is not for me...its for a freind.

 

WWIS??? Lady Jane...can you help me out here???

 

it was a list of like 40 or so things not to do...or to do....somehting like that...

 

help :confused:

 

  • [FONT=Verdana]Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or
    implore!
    2. No frequent phone calls
    3. Do not point out good points in marriage
    4. Do not follow him around the house
    5. Do not encourage talk about the future
    6. Do not ask for help from family members
    7. Do not ask for reassurances
    8. Do not buy gifts
    9. Do not schedule dates together
    10. Do not spy on spouse
    11. Do not say "I Love You"
    12. Act as if you are moving on with your life
    13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive
    14. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get
    busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends,
    etc.
    15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start
    the conversation) be scarce or short on words
    16. If you are in the habit of asking your spouse his
    whereabouts, ASK NOTHING
    17. You need to make your partner think that you have
    had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you
    are going to move on with your life, with or without
    your spouse
    18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pull
    back and wait to see if spouse notices and, more
    important, realize what he will be missing
    19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show
    your spouse happiness and contentment. Show him
    someone he would want to be around.
    20. All questions about marriage should be put on
    hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which
    may be a while)
    21. Never lose your cool
    22. Don't be overly enthusiiastic
    23. Do not argue about how he feels (it only makes
    their feelings stronger)
    24. Be patient
    25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is really
    saying to you
    26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you
    want to speak out
    27. Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh &
    focus on all the other parts of your life that are not
    in turmoil)
    28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly
    29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest
    CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any
    words you can say or write
    30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you
    are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy
    31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with
    your spouse
    32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than
    50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in
    absolute negatives because he is hurting and scared
    33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad
    you feel
    34. Do not backslide from your hardearned changes[/FONT]

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