Second Time, Calm But Sad, Birthday Card Issues

Hi Guys

Broke up with the ex GF in october, followed no contact for a fortnight then she contacted me to say she did,nt love me??? three weeks after that and several exchanged sms she phoned and we got back together, told me that she really did love me and that i was the one, and that if i would have her she would marry me,

So i said yes, cause i love her as much as she loves me, maybe more on hindsight, anyway everything was great untill the weekend before xmas when for no reason aparent to me she stopped talking to me for three days, just acted like i wasnt there, on the third day i was just getting ready to have it out with her when she just snapped out of it,

That night in bed she said " you really scare the hell out of me" and then stopped herself from finishing the sentence, i let it go, but now wish i had pushed her to finish

Anyway xmas was fantastic, possibly the best i ever had, but then last thursday when she woke up she totally ignored me again, i was ready to confront her, but was angry so left the house and did not return untill later that afternoon, she then asked me if i would mind not sleeping there that night, and at that point i lost my temper and we had a slanging match that ended with me leaving with all my stuff,

We havent spoken since but i love her dearly, and i KNOW that she loves me also, i just cant figure out what is going on, i want to contact her but know that if i do she will see it as me crawling back, i think she is scared to commit because of fears i will leave her at some point in the future,

Anyway next saturday is her birthday and i have been thinking wether i should send her a card or not, i do not want this to get petty but will i be seen by her as weak if i do, or will i be seen as uncaring if i dont,

We are both in our fortys and we are to old to be playing games, but it seems recently that we have been doing little else,

Any female insights into this would be really appreciated

Many Thanks...

sounds like there might me another man in the picture, in my opinion.

or menopause maybe? *shrug*

if i was in your position, i'd probably send her b-day card just to be the bigger person. like you said, you're both in your 40's, no need to play games. apparantly something's irking her, ask her what's up w/the mood swings and the dramatic mind changes, maybe not in those exact words heh, wouldn't want it to sound too rude

i'm only 20, so, my advice might not be the best for you, i've never been in that position, but i do hope things work out for you ***hug***

take care 'n get back to the msg boards on how things go!

~Sarah~

Be careful what you write, how you write it and what kind of card you get. You'd be surprised how much people read into that. I'd keep it simple: something like "Thinking of you on your birthday, hope you are well - take care, ________".

That is courteous - begging and groveling or being demanding would probably be seen as weak.

I had thought that it might be the menopause, but being a male dont really now much about it, i think i will follow your advice and be the bigger person, although am feeling rather small at the moment, there is more to this than meets the eye though so if you guys are interested you can find my original post here

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=51841