Stupid Questions... Input appreciated.

Forget everything else I ever posted on here for a moment. I need an unbiased opinion on something, because I'm having a hard time understanding some things. I'm really, really pissed at my bf and part of me is feeling like I shouldn't be. I don't know what to listen to. Or if I'm blowing it outta proportion because our past is littered with arguments....

Uhm... where to start without drowning in details....

Basically... my question is, Do I have a right to be upset that my SO continually brings up crap that happened 4 weeks ago, 2 years ago, and months and months ago every single time he gets upset? Would you feel that your SO didn't care about you if she/he forgot to pick up milk on her way home from the store? What if it was 6 months ago, would you still bring it up? What if you really, really like millk?

Would you tell your SO that going to college full time was a waste of time since it does not benefit you? (You pay all the rent.) Would you feel it was less worthy then if she/he worked, since at least then you wouldn't have to pay all the rent?

How would you react if you initiated sex with your SO early in the morning, and you came and she didn't? What if she had sex with you in your absolute favorite position that sometimes causes her a lot of discomfort, and that's why she didn't come? (What if she assured you she didn't come because she had to pee really bad) Would you be upset? Feel appreciative toward her? Think she was great and want to reciprocate? (Assuming she seemed into it, and didn't just lay there like a dead fish)

Is having sex 6 times a month, but you only see your SO on the weekends, a healthy sex life? (2 years into a relationship) Or would it seem like it should be more? Would you be satisfied/dissatisfied with 6 times a month if you only saw your girl/guy on weekends?

If you feel like you give too much to a relationship, would you then insist that your SO accept money from you? If you bought your SO a new phone without telling her/him, and cancelled the old plan (also without telling your SO) Would you expect her/him to be appreciative? If she/he weren't appreciative of it, would it upset you? Would you yell at them, or write it off as something she/he didn't want?

Would you tell someone you loved that they were annoying? Would you be annoyed if you got home from work, asked how your SO's day was, and the person went on about their day for 15 minutes straight?

Am I an azz for thinking an SO should want to hear about your day (assuming you don't go on for an hour) after they get home from work? Or is it the more polite, considerate thing to wait until the next day or day after to talk about things that happened during the week? Even if some of those things are really bugging you?

You don't have to answer all these.. Just pick and chose if you want. Just wanted to hear someone else's take on some of this. Thoughts and ideas of how you would react if you'd been with someone for a couple years.

hello walk

i think you have summarized all the problems you have been having with your boyfriend in this one thread! to be very frank i think most of the things that you have mentioned sounds really immature. i mean, i seriously don't understand why he wud get mad b'cos you didn't 'come' during sex. and what's with the "you forgot to buy milk" thing? this is really childish! i don't mean to be rude but your boyfriend does not deserve you!

you really got to move on walk, instead of getting hurt repeatedly and trying to justify the things that he does again and again. its very apparent that he is not treating you right.

*hugs*

I want to answer all of them!

Getting mad over stuff that happened a long time ago: depends on the severity of it. Getting mad that your boyfriend cheated on you 6 months ago is perfectly legal--it means you have more discussion and healing to do. Getting mad over not getting milk 6 months ago is silly. (Milk is also awful.)

College: I don't quite understand what you're saying; getting mad because it doesn't benefit the one going to college, or the one not going to college? If it's the former, it seems rather selfish. A lot of people's ideal jobs can't be acquired without at least a college degree.

Sex thing: this seems sort of silly, to be honest. I don't think you can be expected to perfectly synch up your orgasms every single time.

Sex life: six times a month, if you see each other only on the weekends (which would be eight days), would be sex approximately 0.75 times per day. Two years into a relationship? I don't think that's bad at all.

Being giving: if you already feel like you give too much, why would you give more? As for teh cell phone thing, I'd probably think that was really sweet. As long as he imported my address book from my old cell phone into my new one! But I can definitely understand getting annoyed over it. But not yelling-worthy.

Being annoying: I tell my boyfriend when he's annoying. There's no sense in not being honest. It's about equivalent to saying "you're happy." No one's annoying all the time, it's a transient state. As for asking about their day, you can't really complain if they go on for 15 minutes, because you did ask! I might get annoyed if he didn't ask how my day was after, though.

Hearing about the day: I think if you care about someone completely, their day is included as an aspect of that, and they should care. But some people just genuinely aren't concerned, I suppose.

That didn't even take as long as I thought!

None of that makes much sense Walk

College is a good thing, always.

My SO didn't come whilst pleasing me? I would make sure she did afterwards.

Digging up the past, not healthy, but sometimes to illustrate a continuing point of disagreement.

6 times a month? Only seeing each other at weekends doesn't sound bad, as you will probably lose one weekend to the 'cycle'.

I am the one at college, my SO insists I take money from her, I usually don't but sometimes I do, there is no stigma attached to helping your SO, or recieving help. Thats part of a relationship.

The talking about the day bit is the one that resonates with me. Sometimes people can go on a lot about negative stuff. I am not too keen on hearing an hour of negativity, but I usually bear with it, and nod and agree that everyone is an a**h***. Or you hear about stuff you nothing about, and can only sit and listen.

You seem to understand that though, and I would be happy to hear about that kind of stuff for a while each day, but there are limits.

Walk I thought you had left this guy?

There are several but the one that comes to mind is that anything older than 48 hours is ancient history and should not be brought up for discussion (unless, of course, you haven't seen one another or talked in all that time).

If it wasn't important enough to discuss when it happened, it isn't important enough to dredge up later. If it was discussed when it happened, end of story.

Holding someone accountable for something that happened six months ago when they can't go back in time and change it is nothing less than cruel and emotional abuse.

As for the rest, as any good soldier knows (and I'm an OLD soldier), choose your battles wisely and know how to choose them wisely and when to avoid them so you live to fight another day.

Try conversations, not confrontations. It makes life and relationships ever so much more enjoyable. If you both choose to get wrapped around the axle over minutia, you're probably a drama king and queen and need the stimulation of a good fight to feel alive.

Pity!

Walk I thought you had left this guy?

Yeah... uh.. I had it all set up to move into my brothers house. The next day he calls and asks me to babysit his 5 and 7 year old for 8 hours. Then borrowed money off me before he left for work, and said he'd like if I could babysit the following weekend too. And could I clean and straighten up his house. And how he felt I would be the perfect live in babysitter for every weekend. (My brother has a pattern of taking advantage of my generosity and good nature.)

I couldn't do it. I like kids, love my nieces.. but I can't do that. So my option on where to go was nixed. Kind of feel trapped here. Didn't have any money to get my own place. Brother's place wasn't an option if I want to stay somewhat sane... and the homeless shelter is the other option. Or my car.

And now the bf is mad 'cause I had to pee so bad I couldn't come. Day before v-day and he calls to tell me he won't be home til later this week. Not sure if he lied abouthaving to stay away or not. I called him early v-day. It was also our anniversary... but he had to get off the phone. Total talk time: one minute 50 seconds. Didn't hear from him again until 9pm. And wasn't much of a convo.

I keep buying into all this crap... how I'm not showing I appreciate how hard he works, and I take advantage of him. Really kills me that he thinks I use him. And that I don't give even a quarter back for his effort. I bought him all kids of v-day gifts. He got me.... nothin'. I got my tax return back, and he won't let me use it toward rent and bills. WTF does he want from me??

Nevermind. Beating a dead horse with that line...

I just wondered what other people's views were on the questions above. Kind of helps reestablish to myself I'm not crazy.

I'd really like it if others would still answer the original questions. I'm interested in the response. Get a feel for how others view things, what's normal, what's not. I would appreciate it.

I'm having a hard time understanding some things. I'm really, really pissed at my bf and part of me is feeling like I shouldn't be. I don't know what to listen to.

This is the part I wanted to respond to because what I see is a failure to trust yourself and what feels good or not to YOU. Most of life is ambiguous but ultimately you're gonna have to decide whether this guy makes you feel good or bad. It seems the latter, yet you don't trust yourself. Why?

You don't need anyone to respond to the rest because you don't need anyone else to tell you what you're feeling. You just need to listen to you and do something about it instead of betraying yourself based on what other people tell you you should do.

Easier said than done, for sure. But if you continue to let others decide your life for you, you lose the right to whine.

There are several but the one that comes to mind is that anything older than 48 hours is ancient history and should not be brought up for discussion (unless, of course, you haven't seen one another or talked in all that time).

 

If it wasn't important enough to discuss when it happened, it isn't important enough to dredge up later. If it was discussed when it happened, end of story.

 

Holding someone accountable for something that happened six months ago when they can't go back in time and change it is nothing less than cruel and emotional abuse.

 

As for the rest, as any good soldier knows (and I'm an OLD soldier), choose your battles wisely and know how to choose them wisely and when to avoid them so you live to fight another day.

 

Try conversations, not confrontations. It makes life and relationships ever so much more enjoyable. If you both choose to get wrapped around the axle over minutia, you're probably a drama king and queen and need the stimulation of a good fight to feel alive.

 

Pity!

Thats a really good balanced approach Crmudgeon, where's that rep point icon?

Walk, I hope its not starting all over again for you.

Be careful you do not become numb to life. Are there absolutley no options for you?

Basically... my question is, Do I have a right to be upset that my SO continually brings up crap that happened 4 weeks ago, 2 years ago, and months and months ago every single time he gets upset? Would you feel that your SO didn't care about you if she/he forgot to pick up milk on her way home from the store? What if it was 6 months ago, would you still bring it up? What if you really, really like millk?

Hey Walk! I think you already know most of the responses you'll get on here will match those that have already been provided. However, let's take just one of your questions, and one of the important ones, out of the context of 'your' relationship and answer it....

Yes you do. The simple answer is that it is not healthy when arguing/discussing to bring up previously put to bed arguments. Ok, you might not necessarily put it to bed, but perhaps agreed to disagree.

The point is, once discussed, and a compromise reached, the subject is settled and shouldn't be pulled out at every opportunity and shoved back in your face. How are you ever meant to move forward, if the other person is always harping on about the past? The past is done and dusted; the future is yet to come.

Some good advice about arguing… yes it’s Dr Phil.. but it just makes SENSE!

• Take it private and keep it private.

• Keep it relevant.

Don't bring up old grudges or sore points when they don't belong in a particular argument. Put boundaries around the subject matter so that a fight doesn't deteriorate into a free-for-all.

• Keep it real.

Deal with the issue at hand, not with a symptom of the problem. Get real about what is bothering you, or you will come away from the exchange even more frustrated.

• Avoid character assassination.

Stay focused on the issue, rather than deteriorating to the point of attacking your partner personally. Don't let the fight degenerate into name-calling.

• Allow for your partner to retreat with dignity.

How an argument ends is crucial. Recognize when an olive branch is being extended to you — perhaps in the form of an apology or a joke — and give your partner a face-saving way out of the disagreement.

• Be proportional in your intensity.

Every single thing you disagree about is not an earth-shattering event or issue. You do not have to get mad every time you have a right to be.

• There's a time limit.

Arguments should be temporary, so don't let them get out of hand. Don't allow the ugliness of an argument to stretch on indefinitely

That was a good post Curmudgeon. Thank you.

Becoming: I had an interesting talk with a friend yesterday about fear. (I hadn't mentioned my situation.) How we warp what we perceive because of fear, and if we could get rid of that, then we could see it for what it really is. I was thinking that's what I'm doing. The whole thing with not wanting to go to my brothers place, not trusting to leave here. Continually thinking staying and trying to work it out is best...

I'm not sure how to over come that.

He was also talking about how there are no true Guru's There are people who may know a bit more, but most people are just as confused about something like "love" or "life" as anyone else. And they can't tell you exactly what the next step is and how to get there for all levels.They happened to find what worked for them, but you can't be certain it would work for you.

I don't understand how I got here. My brother has terrible problems with gf's and relationships. His wife cheated on him and left. She doesn't seem to want to see their children anymore. Both of us have terrible relationships. Yet my parents have a wonderful relationship. They've been together for 38 years. My dad still holds my mom's hand. Kisses her when he's going out. hugs and cuddles with her on the couch. They're nearly 70 years old. So what happened to make my brother and I such idiots when it comes to relationships and love?

I know I don't have a right to whine. I just felt very isolated and alone, and sometimes this is the only place I feel I can turn to when I feel like the world has flipped upside down again.

And I wondered the reasons why people would not, or would, react to the questions above. Not necessarily whether those actions were correct. But the reasons why. The underlying emotions, or thoughts. The response posted by I luv Chariot was great. Especially concerning the reasons why people do or don't bring up something that happened in the past. But you're right, Becoming, no one can tell me what is right or wrong. I can't seem to communicate why something he does seems "wrong" to me. I can't help but feel that if I could communicate the reasoning better, then he would understand not to do that anymore. But I'm deluding myself, again. This whole thought that he actually gives a sh*t about how I feel. I can't seem to stop believing that he really does care, but lacks the skills/knowledge to show it. That his background shaped his reactions, and since he "loves" me, he would be open to understanding why something hurts me. But only if I can communicate well enough to allow him to see the why. Then I go back to, if he loved me, then I shouldn't have to prove why it hurt me, only that it hurt me.

A lie told often enough becomes the truth.

Lenin (1870 - 1924)

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832),

Littlekitty, what does this mean: • Take it private and keep it private.

How do you get someone else to follow these rules? What would be a good way to bring them up, especially when already arguing? I'm not willing to work on this argument, if he isn't going to fight fair. (the old issues, out of proportion, blowing up about the symptoms, but not dealing with the real issue of what's bothering him, no time limits.)

Littlekitty, what does this mean: • Take it private and keep it private.

 

How do you get someone else to follow these rules? What would be a good way to bring them up, especially when already arguing? I'm not willing to work on this argument, if he isn't going to fight fair. (the old issues, out of proportion, blowing up about the symptoms, but not dealing with the real issue of what's bothering him, no time limits.)

• Take it private and keep it private.

I included this because it's a good point, however the comment underneath pertained to children and I don't believe you have any. The point was really, don't argue in front of the children, or ideally, other people. Do it in private, at home.

How to get him to follow these rule... now that's the big tough question. I know communication between you is difficult. Could you try printing them off on paper and taking them home? Say to him, these are the rules for heathly arguing. I want us to stick to these rules when we argue. If you can't stick to them, I will remove myself from the situation until such time as you can.

I guess the unfortunate point is, alot this advice will only work if your partner is as willing to work on the relationship as you are. And I don't see that desire from your partner, am I wrong? It's got to worth a try... explain how important it is to you and ask him to try.

 

Basically... my question is, Do I have a right to be upset that my SO continually brings up crap that happened 4 weeks ago, 2 years ago, and months and months ago every single time he gets upset? Would you feel that your SO didn't care about you if she/he forgot to pick up milk on her way home from the store? What if it was 6 months ago, would you still bring it up? What if you really, really like millk?

 

No I would not bring it up after 6 months - However, narcisstic people will use any tool to prove they are right and you are stupid!

 

Would you tell your SO that going to college full time was a waste of time since it does not benefit you? (You pay all the rent.) Would you feel it was less worthy then if she/he worked, since at least then you wouldn't have to pay all the rent?

 

No I would not say this to a partner who is working hard through college, I understand the pressure of having all of the bills to pay is hard but it was HIS choice and he wont allow you to work or contribute so it's ultimately HIS choice!

 

How would you react if you initiated sex with your SO early in the morning, and you came and she didn't? What if she had sex with you in your absolute favorite position that sometimes causes her a lot of discomfort, and that's why she didn't come? (What if she assured you she didn't come because she had to pee really bad) Would you be upset? Feel appreciative toward her? Think she was great and want to reciprocate? (Assuming she seemed into it, and didn't just lay there like a dead fish)

 

I would not be upset - I would try again and make sure the other person came this time!

 

Is having sex 6 times a month, but you only see your SO on the weekends, a healthy sex life? (2 years into a relationship) Or would it seem like it should be more? Would you be satisfied/dissatisfied with 6 times a month if you only saw your girl/guy on weekends?

 

That sounds average - If I would not satisfied with how often I was having sex I would tal about it with my partner.

 

If you feel like you give too much to a relationship, would you then insist that your SO accept money from you? If you bought your SO a new phone without telling her/him, and cancelled the old plan (also without telling your SO) Would you expect her/him to be appreciative? If she/he weren't appreciative of it, would it upset you? Would you yell at them, or write it off as something she/he didn't want?

 

I would be upset if my partner did not like a new phone I had put time and effort into buying BUT I would be seriously pissed if my oartner cancelled my old phone and bought me a new one without my consent! That is not being kind that is being controlling and trying to take over your partners life!

 

Would you tell someone you loved that they were annoying? Would you be annoyed if you got home from work, asked how your SO's day was, and the person went on about their day for 15 minutes straight?

 

I would not ask my partner how their day was and then get annoyed when they told me! If they went on for hours about negative stuff it would get draining, but 15 mins would not ever be a problem!

 

Am I an azz for thinking an SO should want to hear about your day (assuming you don't go on for an hour) after they get home from work? Or is it the more polite, considerate thing to wait until the next day or day after to talk about things that happened during the week? Even if some of those things are really bugging you?

 

You should be able to talk about your worries and troubles and worries with your partner of 2 years - You are NOT going mad (nor have you ever been)

 

You don't have to answer all these.. Just pick and chose if you want. Just wanted to hear someone else's take on some of this. Thoughts and ideas of how you would react if you'd been with someone for a couple years.

Walk baby you can ask as many questions as you desire about your relationship - I can guarantee that the answers will always be the same from anybody you talk to - Get away from this - I would rather babysit every night than live life the way you are right now honey - I hope you do not hate me for saying that but it is the truth!

You are NOT mad or cracking up, you are with a narcisstic man who will never change because he is getting away with it!

Walk--My response was pretty harsh, and for that I apologize. You are trying to change him, and you can't. Your responses are your responsibility, and you're seeking to be responsible with them, to check them out with others. But at the end of the day, if it doesn't feel good to you, it's not.

Quit focusing on trying to make him understand. Communicate what's going on with you as best you can. It's his responsibility to listen and seek to understand. You're trying to do the work for both of you, and you're focusing on him probably so you can continue to stay there and not take responsibility for your own life and feelings. No judgment. We all do it. But at the end of the day, you know you're going to need to get a job and your own place. This guy plays wicked mind games with you. He blames, and you feel shamed. But a part of you knows this ain't right.

Sometimes having excellent caring parents doesn't prepare you to take responsibility for your own life because you're always seeking to have someone else take care of you the way dear old Mom and Dad did. Problem is, everyone's seeking care from the other. If we had good parents, we're seeking replication. If we didn't, we want ours now, thank you. We all want to be cared for. With the breakdown in our society, chances are greater that you're going to meet people who can't care for you back. Instead, they'll just try to control everything so they can get care the way they want it without caring about the other's needs. Sound familiar?

You've been knocking yourself out to please this guy, care for him the way he'd like. Has he? And why should that be ok? Because you're his kept woman? And is that really what you want?

hello walk

Completely offtopic. Noclobbers avatar.The Who rocks!!! WOW! The Seeker!

You better you bet!

Walk, you are in a LOUSY relationship and most of that is due to the guy you're with. And I wish to God you'd grab your brass ones and WALK away from it.

Completely offtopic. Noclobbers avatar.The Who rocks!!! WOW! The Seeker!

 

You better you bet!

Thanks Swordfish! We are all seeking for the eternal answer forever and ever... don't we?

Walk, hate me for what I am telling, but your boyfriend is a total jerk and I cannot believe why you are putting up with him so much. I understand that you cannot go to your brother's house but don't you have any other friends that will allow you to stay with them temporarily? Since you are now going to college you would have met lots of new people and I am sure one of them will help you out.

You are in a state where you don't understand whether your boyfriend is wrong or whether its you that is wrong. Sometimes in life we just can't rationalize our thoughts and put a finger onto anything. If you just feel that something is wrong it most probably is! Relationships are not based on logic, they are based on feelings and emotions. So analyzing the problem and trying to come up with a logical solution is not going to work.

Do I have a right to be upset that my SO continually brings up crap that happened 4 weeks ago, yes, unless you really f***ed up bad 2 years ago, yes and months and months ago every single time he gets upset? yes

 

Would you feel that your SO didn't care about you if she/he forgot to pick up milk on her way home from the store? yes, if he forgot cause he was busy doing something for (or was with) someone else....no, if he really had to use the bathroom and was in a hurry to get home !! What if it was 6 months ago, would you still bring it up? yes, if he forgets all time otherwise no, unless there was something real bad that went with the forgetting (got laid instead) What if you really, really like millk? same as 6 months

 

Would you tell your SO that going to college full time was a waste of time since it does not benefit you? if in a fight see next otherwise...no, (yes, if it also is not benefitting him)Would you feel it was less worthy then if she/he worked, since at least then you wouldn't have to pay all the rent? yes, all the time and most likely would say that (college was waste of time) when fighting w/ SO

 

How would you react if you initiated sex with your SO early in the morning, and you came and she didn't? wouldn't react or would feel bad (unwanted) What if she had sex with you in your absolute favorite position that sometimes causes her a lot of discomfort, and that's why she didn't come? wouldn't react or would feel bad (like a jerk) (What if she assured you she didn't come because she had to pee really bad) Would you be upset? no Feel appreciative toward her? yes Think she was great and want to reciprocate? yes, if I was up to it, if not would later

 

Is having sex 6 times a month, but you only see your SO on the weekends, a healthy sex life? yes (2 years into a relationship)yes Or would it seem like it should be more? if SO required more Would you be satisfied/dissatisfied with 6 times a month if you only saw your girl/guy on weekends?no

 

If you feel like you give too much to a relationship, would you then insist that your SO accept money from you? yes, although ashamed to admitIf you bought your SO a new phone without telling her/him, and cancelled the old plan (also without telling your SO) Would you expect her/him to be appreciative? no,because my SO's a jerk otherwise yes If she/he weren't appreciative of it, would it upset you? yes, but because i'd figure he was hiding something Would you yell at them, noor write it off as something she/he didn't want?yes

 

Would you tell someone you loved that they were annoying? yes,(in a nice way) i would want to know if I got on other peoples nervesWould you be annoyed if you got home from work, asked how your SO's day was, and the person went on about their day for 15 minutes straight?no, thats why I asked(i wanted to know)

 

Am I an azz for thinking an SO should want to hear about your day (assuming you don't go on for an hour) after they get home from work? no Or is it the more polite, considerate thing to wait until the next day or day after to talk about things that happened during the week? no, yes, sometimes, if the SO is tired,sick had WORSE day Even if some of those things are really bugging you?no, get it off your chest

 

Thoughts and ideas of how you would react if you'd been with someone for a couple years.

tried to answer as honestly as possible but need to add...if SO and I were fighting I'd yell and scream use everything I could and most of my answers to these questions are out the window.

Walk--My response was pretty harsh, and for that I apologize.

Noclobber.. I really don't have any friends that live in my state. Since I quit my job, all the people I used to call friends there, faded away. The kids at school are 10-13 yrs younger then me. Kinda hard to relate.

That is not being kind that is being controlling and trying to take over your partners life!

I didn't even care what phone service we have, what phone I have. But I thought partners were supposed to discuss major purchases to see if the other had something they really needed. Weigh the pros and con's together.

He's supposed to be home tonight. I'm not taking this shyt anymore. This last one crossed a final line, and I'm not backing down. If his stupid azz pride won't allow him to admit he's wrong and try to comprimise with me, then I'm gone. I got my tax return back, and I can pay for a room for a couple months til I can get a job. This was uncalled for, inconsiderate, disrespectful, and just down right retarded of him to pull. My problem is I'll say, I'm angry because you called my college education a waste of time. And I know he'll change it all around to how he didn't. How I took it wrong, and then he'll quote to me what he said. I don't have picture perfect recall. I just know he said it was a waste of time because it didn't benefit him in the present. Then I end up feeling like I was wrong, and that I completely misunderstood him. He's done this to me before. I can't fight him intellectually. He runs circles around me. I remember emotions, and some specific events, but not every little detail. It all gets jumbled up. so I can't say, "You are wrong, you said X,Y,Z."

I want to tape record him, but I don't have a tape recorder. Just to be able to play it back later and hear exactly what he did say. Then when he says I'm wrong, I can hit play and say "See, you dick. This is exactly what you said!" Aaaarrrrghhh... I'm so frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What ever happened to 'do unto others' ideal?

Would you tell your SO that going to college full time was a waste of time since it does not benefit you? if in a fight see next otherwise...no, (yes, if it also is not benefitting him)Would you feel it was less worthy then if she/he worked, since at least then you wouldn't have to pay all the rent? yes, all the time and most likely would say that (college was waste of time) when fighting w/ SO

You'd really think college for you SO was a waste? Why is that? This is under the assumption that the two of you are/were planning on spending the rest of your lives together. Is it because the SO is going to college, or just think that college in general is a waste of time?

Good. Take that tax return $$ and start a new life. You won't have a great place for a couple months until you get on your feet, probably, but you will have your life.

If you could stand it, there might be campus housing available. The housing office often has names of folks who rent out rooms or want one responsible student to live in some spare rooms.

If you could stand it, there might be campus housing available. The housing office often has names of folks who rent out rooms or want one responsible student to live in some spare rooms.

Yeah, I was looking at that... they have it on-line now in a searchable database. pretty cool. Found a couple that might look do-able. Depending on what kind of utility bills they're talking about.

Man, they are expensive around here. You'd think I lived some where posh for the prices they want for renting just a room to someone. Guess that's normal for a college town. *shrug*

My college doesn't have campus housing except for married couples and families. Unless I wanted to live in the dorms, and I really can't do that.

Just wanted to say... looks like I'm on track (as of now) to graduate with my bachelors in summer 2007. If I really load up the next 3 semesters. woo hoo! And I'll have my associates this May. Yay. I'm gonna throw a huge party for my AA graduation, you're all invited!

Do you think it's do-able to take 3 classes in a summer semester? This university has two summer sessions. (fall, spring, summer 1 and summer 2) And the classes are web programming, internet law classe, and an upper level writing/presentation class. Think 3 is too many?

I did 3 one summer. It's doable but you'll have to work your butt off. Worth it, though, to finish sooner than later.

You'd really think college for you SO was a waste? Why is that? This is under the assumption that the two of you are/were planning on spending the rest of your lives together. Is it because the SO is going to college, or just think that college in general is a waste of time?

I must of not been clear...

NO, college for my SO would not be a waste, if he was actually bettering himself. Now if he was flunking out of school because he was partying all the time I would think it was a waste.

If my SO was in college and I wasn't, even though it is not right, I would feel college was less worthy if I was the only one working and I was paying all the bills. This doesn't mean I would tell the SO that...

Unless we were fighting. Even though it is not the right thing to do...in a fight I probably would say something to that affect (that he's a lazy bum thats why he doesn't get a part time job and he's using college as an excuse.)

I did 3 one summer. It's doable but you'll have to work your butt off. Worth it, though, to finish sooner than later.

Do you think it'd be about the equivalent of taking 15 credit hour in regular semester? Or more like 18-20?