2 Weeks NC and this

It's been two weeks NC and she calls. I answerd because it was a different number I didn't know. Anyways she asked if she could come over, I said sure and in just minutes she was at my door. We talked for about an hour, about what we have been up too, families and stuff, she moved to a new apartment and me too since we broke up. Anyways while we were together she had ciggarettes in her purse she pulled out when looking for somthing. I didn't want to say anything about it, but I care about her and the 2 years we have known eachother we were very stong about smoking, she has left my house and not talked to me before from smoking a ciggarette on a bad day, her grandfather died of lung cance. So I asked if she had been smoking, she said somtimes, and I said very seriously "hey I know you might not care what I say and I know you don't love me and we are not together, but I care about you so much and I hate to see you smoke, remember your grandpa" her eyes got watery and said "I know" Then she got in her car and I said goodbye. She said call me somtime, and then she said seriously, call me somtime. She put up her window, rolled it back down, and said "and I still love you" then left.

We hadnt seen eachtoher for 2 weeks before this, and I know she isnt going to be home for a week, but should I call, wait for her to call again, or what? Do I have to much hope in this once again? Art critic, tell me I am stupid, and shes never comming back, lol..

Help!

JR

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=68826

Here is the first thread

First of all, hold yourself together man! Keep cool, calm! Call her after she comes back from break (2 weeks?) Keep that NC up until then! Let her make the moves, hold your cards close and don't reveal em all at once!

First of all, hold yourself together man! Keep cool, calm! Call her after she comes back from break (2 weeks?) Keep that NC up until then! Let her make the moves, hold your cards close and don't reveal em all at once!

great advice!

Sit on your feelings, wait it out, don't make any sudden decisions, you have all the time in the world so just wait. Do nothing.

On her part, it may be loneliness, emotions getting the better of her...don't expect anything until you have can have a sensible, mature conversation with her about trying again.

Not easy waiting it out... its gonna be a looooooong 2 weeks of mental torture....

Im not giving any advice on this, but just take care of yourself and your emotions.

Ok good work on the NC.

Well first I want to say the only time really when you shouldnt call someone is when they say not to, uh but there is exceptions to that.

In any case if you do decide to call id wait till when she is back. However let me say this. At this point i read your posts, Im guaging her interst level. When she gets back she will be checking to see if you called or left a message. If you dont call her, she will call you. She will probably ask why u havent called and or you can say I didnt call cause I wasnt sure if you were back yet or what was a good time to catch you.

Nextm dont ask her about getting back in fact .. uh no nevermind. Lets put it this way if you are hanging out and seeing each other again, she gets comfortable enough she will eventaully start refering to u as her boyfriend.

Thats what happened to me, it took a while to get her to even meet me. Then finally when we did meet and start contact again we had sexm and the she was calling and then wanting to do more stuff.. Then she mentioned she was somewhere and told someone "im going to visit my boyfriend".. so

I wish I had your luck right now, I may never ever hear from my ex again. So win one for those of us stuck in the trenches...

Ok, so yeah wait till she gets back in a week. I am planning on trying to wait till she calls again I guess. Also I was going to ask her to go on a "real date" but maybe I should just see if she wants to do somthing. Again I don't know if I can just be her friend forever. but if i have to, so she sees she wants to be with me again, then ok.

JR

I need an outside perspective. Should I call when she comes back like later in the week, she gets back mon or tues. The thing is, I could call and hang out with her, then shell see what she is missing. Or I could not call, and let her miss me more, and wait till she calls me.

BUT She told me to call her, she might not call me, I know her and she may think "I left it in his hands to call or not" and if I don't call she might just think Im done with her.

JR

if she wants ya, she'll call

its hard but wait it out, the time will come around.

the ball is in her court, if it matters to her, she will call.

its not about games, just about what you want your position to be. remember, it depends how you want her to perceive you.

you can either be the lap dog or you can be the dignified one who is worth fighting for. we all want what we cannot have, and value things more when we have to fight for them.

Ok just dont call. Easy enough.. But she specifically said "call me sometime" i know I know.. Damn I know I want to, but I just want to do the right thing. I think If I call we can hang out and start being close again... But if i dont call we will drift to far apart, and Ill never have a shot.

On the other hang, if we hang out too much, she might just think I make a good friend, or ill anoy her and if i dont call shell miss me even more than she already is.. if she is..

I need some suggestions please, I am so lost on what route to take.

these things are confusing hey? I'm stuck on week 2 of a break, where the g/f has asked for a few weeks to clear some wounds. In my case I'm not sure if what she told me is in fact the reason for the split or if she's mad at me for something.

so I want to call and talk. anyways bro, I think you might be in a good spot for NC

Not easy waiting it out... its gonna be a looooooong 2 weeks of mental torture....

 

Im not giving any advice on this, but just take care of yourself and your emotions.

Well, now it's time to see how creative you are at keeping busy.

Jeepers creepers batman...

You can call, or you dont have to call. If you call then just do it once and wait for her to return your call.. In which case you would wait one week, then call again.

I wish I was you cause Id have her back in a second.

If they talk to you and want to see you its usually pretty easy to do.

Wanna trade? Im on long term NC again, or perhaps the final NC.

Already gave you suggestions, dont rethink.

quote "But if i dont call we will drift to far apart, and Ill never have a shot."

why do you think this? who put this idea in your head?

sorry, what's NC?

sorry, what's NC?

NC = No Contact

So I called yesterday. I knew she was back, and I couldnt contain any longer. She invited me over to see her new place. We talked for about an hour. Once when our eyes connected she asked if I was ok, she epected me to say no and I love you and want you back.. but I said yeah, im fine. Things went well I guess. Same as last time. She said give me a call somtime. Then when i left she hugged me, and said she might call tommorow..

So today i got not call yet.. Im not really expecting one I guess. but hey.

Now whats the move? Im thinking wait awhile, see if she calls, if not ask her to come over and watch a movie or something..

any other suggestions?

JR

Yes thats sounds great. It also sounds like you dont need an excuse to call...

When they say you should call sometime, it dosent mean invite em over for a movie the next day.... id give it a couple weeks!

You will just get blown off if you invite her over.

Trust me..if she wants to see you before that she will call you.

She didnt call yesterday, I am not suprised and not real dissapointed.

dr strangelove you think if you were in my shoes you could get her back. Well I need your advise, whats the gameplan man, just hang out with her as friends a few times, then try to ease into boyfriend status, or should I hang out awhile and then "talk" and ask her if shell start dating me, just dating, after all she did say i defiantly deserve a second chance.

JR