Really Sexless Marriages

We have two recent posts, where youngish women (30's) are in truly sexless marriages..... One never consummated after 4 years and the other 10X's in 8 years and we have back and forths that they are terrible people, breaking their marital vows, are strumpets with no regards to their spouses.....

As I have said before I really have no respect for those that cheat in almost all situations...... But these are not normal situations and I only question why the husbands can be so obtuse, lost and do that to their spouse. Frankly I support their "cheating" or more so wonder what took them so long...... They've talked them to no avail and in any case no one can be so obtuse not to know there is a serious problem.....

This is their husband's fault 100%.......

I'd be fully supportive if they divorced them, witholding sex is cruel. But I can't see how cheating is deserved, ever.

We have two recent posts, where youngish women (30's) are in truly sexless marriages..... One never consummated after 4 years and the other 10X's in 8 years and we have back and forths that they are terrible people, breaking their marital vows, are strumpets with no regards to their spouses.....

 

As I have said before I really have no respect for those that cheat in almost all situations...... But these are not normal situations and I only question why the husbands can be so obtuse, lost and do that to their spouse. Frankly I support their "cheating" or more so wonder what took them so long...... They've talked them to no avail and in any case no one can be so obtuse not to know there is a serious problem.....

 

This is their husband's fault 100%.......

I disagree, it's not their fault that their wives chose to cheat. No one twisted their arm/s. They could've Divorced them. See, this is typical, "if he cheats, it's his fault, if she cheats, it's still his fault!

I made another post on the one screwing the man they know in the home, YUCK!:sick::sick:

BTW, what's a strumpet?

Like I said in the other post, I think the one guy was fixed by his strict family.

strumpet = hussy

look, at some point in a relationship, you're going to hit a wall when it comes to sex. A baby is born, finances have you stressed, family is driving you nuts, health issues lead to inability to perform ... it's all there, and the longer you stay in a relationship, the more likely you're gonna encounter these periods where sex ain't happening. It's normal. And to be honest, it's not about not having sex, but how you respond to the situation.

are you gonna whine about your rights, and start saying you deserve to have sex every night or it's not fair? Are you going to look outside the marriage to have that itch scratched? Are you going to just sit there and accept what's going on without figuring out a solution and just be miserable? Or are you going to address the issue with your spouse and figure out a way of dealing with this that leaves the both of you more or less satisfied?

cheating is NEVER the answer, because it doesn't address the base issue. You've only clouded the issue with unnecessary distractions. Even the poster mentioned above, the one whose husband never sexually approached her and who looked to someone outside the marriage to get her needs met, still had to deal with the fact that her husband wasn't interested in a sexual relationship, she still had to come up with a solution that both can agree to ...

because what it boils down to is that it's not solely about the wife or solely about the husband and who's not getting any, but about the couple and the relationship they built together.

I'm with you on this one. I hate cheaters. But seriously. in these cases. All the power to the women. They deserve to get laid.

We have two recent posts, where youngish women (30's) are in truly sexless marriages..... One never consummated after 4 years and the other 10X's in 8 years and we have back and forths that they are terrible people, breaking their marital vows, are strumpets with no regards to their spouses.....

 

As I have said before I really have no respect for those that cheat in almost all situations...... But these are not normal situations and I only question why the husbands can be so obtuse, lost and do that to their spouse. Frankly I support their "cheating" or more so wonder what took them so long...... They've talked them to no avail and in any case no one can be so obtuse not to know there is a serious problem.....

 

This is their husband's fault 100%.......

strumpet = hussy

 

look, at some point in a relationship, you're going to hit a wall when it comes to sex. A baby is born, finances have you stressed, family is driving you nuts, health issues lead to inability to perform ... it's all there, and the longer you stay in a relationship, the more likely you're gonna encounter these periods where sex ain't happening. It's normal. And to be honest, it's not about not having sex, but how you respond to the situation.

 

are you gonna whine about your rights, and start saying you deserve to have sex every night or it's not fair? Are you going to look outside the marriage to have that itch scratched? Are you going to just sit there and accept what's going on without figuring out a solution and just be miserable? Or are you going to address the issue with your spouse and figure out a way of dealing with this that leaves the both of you more or less satisfied?

 

cheating is NEVER the answer, because it doesn't address the base issue. You've only clouded the issue with unnecessary distractions. Even the poster mentioned above, the one whose husband never sexually approached her and who looked to someone outside the marriage to get her needs met, still had to deal with the fact that her husband wasn't interested in a sexual relationship, she still had to come up with a solution that both can agree to ...

 

because what it boils down to is that it's not solely about the wife or solely about the husband and who's not getting any, but about the couple and the relationship they built together.

Thanks.

Very true. However the way she came up with a solution to screw another man, NO, it's STILL cheating. No matter how paint it, put lights around it, whatever, cheating is still cheating, even if her husband said it's ok, it's NOT Okay! God doesn't give a husband or a wife the ability to go out and do something sinful. He can't, because that would be a sin, God can't sin. But let's stop it right there before we all go off topic into lala land.

Then Tony'll be in here closing down another Thread.

I'm with you on this one. I hate cheaters. But seriously. in these cases. All the power to the women. They deserve to get laid.

Gotta ask, so it's ok for a woman to do it, but when it's a guy, he has to suffer with no sex, in a sexless marriage?

I'll say. like Potty training at gun point or something

Like I said in the other post, I think the one guy was fixed by his strict family.

I'll say. like Potty training at gun point or something

Probably or something.

I'd be fully supportive if they divorced them, witholding sex is cruel. But I can't see how cheating is deserved, ever.

Totally agree

I disagree, it's not their fault that their wives chose to cheat. No one twisted their arm/s. They could've Divorced them. See, this is typical, "if he cheats, it's his fault, if she cheats, it's still his fault!

 

I made another post on the one screwing the man they know in the home, YUCK!:sick::sick:

Agree too!

Well I see your point. And I do think if it gets that bad then they should leave. Get a divorce things like that. So I think in that respect your right. It doesn't make it right. But still.Guess there really isn't a clear path on this one. No one should be cheating. But then again divorces cost alot of money and things like that.

Gotta ask, so it's ok for a woman to do it, but when it's a guy, he has to suffer with no sex, in a sexless marriage?

A divorce is in order, if they are withholding sex that long, then they are withholding intimacy too.

In the one case where she has never consummated I found it odd that he wasn't affectionate at all with her. That is waaaayyy too far.

Well I see your point. And I do think if it gets that bad then they should leave. Get a divorce things like that. So I think in that respect your right. It doesn't make it right. But still.Guess there really isn't a clear path on this one. No one should be cheating. But then again divorces cost alot of money and things like that.

Well, there are cheap divorces, only problem with that is, usually there's kids, house/money in the picture.

Of course, the person doing the lying and screwing just can't admit they're wrong and gotta drag the thing out to the bitter end sucking out the families life blood and giving it over to the blood sucking leaches we have for Lawyers to try to keep the children in order to use them against the faithful spouse as pawns who tried their hardest to make it work despite hard times. So long as you're a woman these days, it's in the bag for you! Well, maybe not really. The courts are starting to get a little sense towards men these days.

A divorce is in order, if they are withholding sex that long, then they are withholding intimacy too.

 

In the one case where she has never consummated I found it odd that he wasn't affectionate at all with her. That is waaaayyy too far.

Agreed. Then again, that whole sitch is odd.

We have two recent posts, where youngish women (30's) are in truly sexless marriages..... One never consummated after 4 years and the other 10X's in 8 years and we have back and forths that they are terrible people, breaking their marital vows, are strumpets with no regards to their spouses.....

 

As I have said before I really have no respect for those that cheat in almost all situations...... But these are not normal situations and I only question why the husbands can be so obtuse, lost and do that to their spouse. Frankly I support their "cheating" or more so wonder what took them so long...... They've talked them to no avail and in any case no one can be so obtuse not to know there is a serious problem.....

 

This is their husband's fault 100%.......

I agree it's not a normal situation. ut cheating is not an option.

If they didnt have sex for years, what were those women doing for so long. May be their Hs might ba having some medical problem, Have they tried to do something about it. Have they talked about it.

- Not having sex for years and not trying to find a fix in unacceptable.

-If there is no fix then they should have left their Hs.

-but I think if they say for years they didnt have sex and they couldnt find a fix or they havent left their H means, they might have had affairs in those years. I dont see why they would just start something after 8 years.

I think if you something lacks in your marriage and you are sure you will never get it, then it is best to leave. Cheating is NOT and option at all.

they are females and these couples are childless.... Nothing is keeping them married outside their messed up ideals of what a healthy relationship is..... Neither of which come close to normal.....

No male would stand for it........

Yea my ex is the sameway. the dumbd chick still can't admit to anything she's done wrong.

Well, there are cheap divorces, only problem with that is, usually there's kids, house/money in the picture.

 

Of course, the person doing the lying and screwing just can't admit they're wrong and gotta drag the thing out to the bitter end sucking out the families life blood and giving it over to the blood sucking leaches we have for Lawyers to try to keep the children in order to use them against the faithful spouse as pawns who tried their hardest to make it work despite hard times. So long as you're a woman these days, it's in the bag for you! Well, maybe not really. The courts are starting to get a little sense towards men these days.

I posted on one of those threads as well. I understand withholding sex for so long is not good. I totally believe that there is a deep seeded issue with the husband that needs to be addressed whether it be medical or pyschological.

The wife stated that she LOVES her husband and he is her best friend and I believe he is filling all her emotional needs. So...can we say cake eater! She's bring men into their home and kicking her husband out of the house. I don't care what kind of agreement they have. That is disrespectful!

I'm with you on this one. I hate cheaters. But seriously. in these cases. All the power to the women. They deserve to get laid.

True, they should get laid, AFTER they get divorced! Then they can screw an entire Rugby Team for all I care.

True, they should get laid, AFTER they get divorced! Then they can screw an entire Rugby Team for all I care.

well said... lol

True, they should get laid, AFTER they get divorced! Then they can screw an entire Rugby Team for all I care.

Hey I am not saying that I don't understand why cheaters cheat. It is wrong and often a totally disproportionate response to whatever is going on in the marriage. The damage it causes would be much less if they set appropriate boundaries and divorced if there was no way that their actual needs could be met.

Thank you thank you thank you for posting this. I was one of the posters you are referring to and I have to say I did not check my post after only a few responses. I'm not saying cheating is right but I came to this site for some advice not cruel hateful remarks. Don't people think I've begged and pleaded for him to go to a dr?!! Pleading for, sex especially by a women is embarrassing. I have had to "take care of my needs" myself for many many years and I finally broke after hearing I'll work on it one too many times from my husband. I know that I need to do something now whether get a divorce or try to resolve things. Like I said before the one good thing I learned is not to judge people so harshly because you never know what's going on behind the scenes

I agree it's not a normal situation. ut cheating is not an option.

If they didnt have sex for years, what were those women doing for so long. May be their Hs might ba having some medical problem, Have they tried to do something about it. Have they talked about it.

It's called masturbation and toys. He's too embarrassed to go to a Dr. Hell yeah we've talked about it.

- Not having sex for years and not trying to find a fix in unacceptable.

-If there is no fix then they should have left their Hs.

-but I think if they say for years they didnt have sex and they couldnt find a fix or they havent left their H means, they might have had affairs in those years. I dont see why they would just start something after 8 years.

I repeat this is my first and only affair. I have never cheated in any relationship period. Why would I lie in an anonymous forum that I was seeking to get advice from?

And how would you feel if he started his own affair. He see's a Doctor, gets the problem fixed and starts to have an affair of his own! I mean what's good for the goose......

Have you ever considered what it would feel like to be on the other side of the fence on that? You're acting like your husband deserves this. You said that he isn't seeing a Dr. because he's embarassed and (probably) ashamed. So, how do you fix the problem? Emasculate him even further...

His fault! Won't go to the Dr!