trying to decide about going on dates with guys I'm "meh" about online

The guy I'm going on a second date with today is the only one whom I was really excited about based on his profile and our correspondence. There are a few other candidates, but I'm kind of meh about them. There's this one guy who seems very bright and cute, but a tad boring. He also told me today that he recently met a nice girl on the site he's gone on a few dates with but they're not "official." I'm just wondering if it's even worth it with him.

There are a few other fellows with various things holding me back: one is very short (5'8"), a few others are in their mid thirties which is a little old for me, others are kind of far away (like 2 hours).

Another one seemed good, except for in his profile where he says, "I find 1984 and "Brave New World" rather utopic than dystopic... is that really wrong?" His idea of a utopia is a boot stomping on a human face forever?

But maybe I should be pushing myself out of my comfort zone and exploring different possibilities.

I can't wait till your on here trying to decide wether or not to get sweaty and naked with guys you are "meh" about.

The 1984 guy sounds like a real charmer.

For what it's worth, I never found any spark in real life with guys I was meh about meeting. I don't think I will do it anymore.

For what it's worth, I never found any spark in real life with guys I was meh about meeting. I don't think I will do it anymore.

I've found just the opposite. There were quite a few women I met who maybe weren't the best communicators online or their pictures were "okay" and ended up being very intelligent, fun, and much better looking in person. It's the women who had "stunning" photos of themselves ended up being the disappointment sometimes in looks, but usually more disappointing in personality.

The guy I'm going on a second date with today is the only one whom I was really excited about based on his profile and our correspondence. There are a few other candidates, but I'm kind of meh about them. There's this one guy who seems very bright and cute, but a tad boring. He also told me today that he recently met a nice girl on the site he's gone on a few dates with but they're not "official." I'm just wondering if it's even worth it with him.

 

There are a few other fellows with various things holding me back: one is very short (5'8"), a few others are in their mid thirties which is a little old for me, others are kind of far away (like 2 hours).

 

Another one seemed good, except for in his profile where he says, "I find 1984 and "Brave New World" rather utopic than dystopic... is that really wrong?" His idea of a utopia is a boot stomping on a human face forever?

 

But maybe I should be pushing myself out of my comfort zone and exploring different possibilities.

Honestly, don't do anyone any favors by going out with them if you're not interested. It's women like you who do decide to meet with guys they're only "meh" about that forced me to be much more selective and elaborate the amount of communication I have before I take them out on a date. Guys take a date as a strong sign of high interest, you'll only be leading them on. Secondly, guys are expected to pay for dates, so either keep it to something short and inexpensive like coffee or a drink, or just don't go out with him.

Just from the way you've described 5'8" as "very short" and judging guys who actually have opinions and feelings about certain books and criticize them before talking to him about it.....I'd say do THEM a favor by not going out with them. They may be confused at first but in the long run they'll be dodging a bullet.

For what it's worth, I never found any spark in real life with guys I was meh about meeting. I don't think I will do it anymore.

I did about a month ago. I was totally meh, and then got to the restaurant and was almost in awe as he stood up to greet me. I stood there like a stupid person, thinking, "You're way too hot to be the same guy..." I left that date feeling giddy.

Feeling didn't last long though. He turned out to be bat sh*t crazy and had a meltdown after the second date. Oh well.

I didnt realize 5'8 was a midget:rolleyes:

Get over yourself

Yes, by all means, go out and date date date some more until you are able to detach a big chunk of emotion from the process. It's supposed to be a fun way to meet new people and learn new things, not a haunted house ride.

Yes, by all means, go out and date date date some more until you are able to detach a big chunk of emotion from the process. It's supposed to be a fun way to meet new people and learn new things, not a haunted house ride.

Agreed. Go out and meet new people, for the sake of meeting new people. If any romance comes out of it, bonus.

.......................................................................................................

Try going out with them to places and events you'd want to go to anyway.

It's kind of weird going to the same restaurant with the guy #11 in the last month or so. Some of the waiters kind of look at me funny

Two words:

Free meal

It's kind of weird going to the same restaurant with the guy #11 in the last month or so. Some of the waiters kind of look at me funny

And... there's only one restaurant where you live???

 

And... there's only one restaurant where you live???

There is only one really close to where I live. So I tend to suggest it and guys just go with that.

Why do you feel "meh" about these qualities?

When you make observations such he's a "tad boring", or that 5'8" is "very short", and others like that, and then equate them to mean "meh", you're setting yourself up for unnecessary failure. You automatically eliminate 99.9999% of all guys and then you wonder why you can't find anyone that you will be happy with.

But maybe I should be pushing myself out of my comfort zone and exploring different possibilities.

You should not go out with a guy you feel "meh" about. Instead focus on changing the qualities about a person that make you feel "meh".

I guess it all depends on what you're hoping to get out of the date...online dating is hit or miss. At least if you see someone in real life that you may be attracted to they can't misrepresent themselves on a physical level...

I agree you are being pretty nit-picky here. 5'8" is very short? I think it's like an inch below the national average. I dated an awesome, attractive, smart, and insanely sexy guy who was 5'8" (and I'm 5'9"!).

A date is just that. A date. If it turns out you're still "meh" about them in person, no harm done. You might be out a couple bucks but more than likely you won't even have to worry about that. Really, what's the worst that could happen?

Time to start being a little more open-minded.

I RESENT your criteria on men being "short" @ 5' 8"!!

Unless you ARE much taller than that you ARE missing out on GREAT guys in that height range (for ridiculous and typical "female" superficial reasons- i.e- He doesnt match my shoes, He must be "Prince Charming" on a WHITE HORSE to rescue me, he's to this OR that CRAP). Get out of DISNEYLAND!!

I'm 5' 8" and have a slong OF EPIC PROPORTIONS (and a sack to back it up).

* I could beat you down into sexual submission with it (slap you around with it) should you ever offend me!!

Open your EYES and mind to all the (wonderful) men of any height thats REASONABLE (comparable to yours). Youre missing out!!!

I hate overly-SUPERFICIAL women (especially those 5'2" ones that ONLY DATE 6' tall men). WTF??

I agree that if it's "meh" and not "blech" then go ahead and meet them.

Unless you are willing to consider putting dating on the back burner while you address some of your own stuff.