Poorly treated woman back in my life?

So I met this girl on a dating site about a year and half ago. I was also dating about 5 other girls at the time. She was very attractive with a smokin' body and nice, which is why I actually went out on several dates with her before making her sleep with me. By about the 4th date the sex wasn't happening so I stopped calling for a week. This made her upset and I went over drunk one night and it finally happened. Romantic, I know.

Anyway, the sex was pretty lackluster. She had no moves, either because she's just awful in bed or because she wasn't feeling it. But we went out a few more times, on generally fun dates, before I dumped her.

I dumped her in kind of a mean way. It was her birthday party and I talked trash about her to some dude, fully knowing he'd tell her what I said. After the party I told her we had no chemistry in bed and it was over and actually went over to another girl's place and slept with her that night.

SO..

Then I started to think of her. Saw her on the dating site a few times. I sent her a message and she responded angrily that I was so hurtful for dumping her the way I did and her friend told her what I said about her.

I apologized, didn't hear back.

Over the next year or so I sent her the occasional message on the dating site like Merry Xmas, etc. No response.

Then her profile disappeared about 3-4 months ago.

Then about a week ago I saw that her profile was back up. I sent her a friendly message asking her what she was up to and, to my surprise, she responded warmly, asking me about what I'm up to these days and such. I apologized again and this time said that I acted childishly because I thought she didn't like me as much as I liked her, and that's why I broke up with her; and that, since we broke up I'd thought about her frequently. Not exactly the truth, but it sounds better than, "You were about as good a screw as a coma patient and I was seeing too many women so I needed to let one go."

So two nights ago she responded, saying don't worry about the apologies, she hadn't been "completely comfortable" with our relationship, it's all good, and asking more questions about me. Apparently she bought the line about me dumping her because I thought she wasn't into me.

SOOOOO...

I'm not sure what's up here, or what to do next.

I'm genuinely surprised that she's being so warm, because I treated her like crap, dumped her and talked trash about her to her friend and told her she was awful in bed.

Maybe she's back on the market? From my experience when I dump a chick and see her online and say Hi, I hardly ever get a response, let alone a warm one. I know it's all speculation but I'm wondering if anybody has any thoughts. It's been over a year and a half.

I'd like to go back and hit that body if I can, to see if she really was bad in the sack or if I'd just moved too fast for her or what.

Not sure what to do next, or what she's doing talking with me. I'm thinking of just some nice conversation at first, taking it slow, then maybe asking her out for a drink or something. Ideas?

Ideas anyone?

Yes, stop sleeping around.

I'd like to go back and hit that body if I can, to see if she really was bad in the sack or if I'd just moved too fast for her or what.

Or maybe it was the fact that you went over to have drunk sex with her? Maybe she wasn't exactly into it therefore making you think she was the lame one in bed.

Or maybe it was the fact that you went over to have drunk sex with her? Maybe she wasn't exactly into it therefore making you think she was the lame one in bed.

Well, we had sex a few times. It was always rather dull. You might be wondering why I'd want to get back with her at all if the sex was boring. Frankly, I'm not sure. But you know how it is. You dump some one and then a year or two later they look good to you again, because you've forgotten the bad parts.

I'd like to hit it again, I'm just wondering why she's bother talking with me on a dating site after the past we had! What could a girl want in that situation? It's not like we had a long relationship to reminisce about, it was maybe a month. I don't get it.

Hey man, I'd tread carefully. Maybe she's trying to set you up to get back at you?

well, could be.. like what? Like inviting me over and then having some big dude jump out from behind the couch to beat the crap out of me? Possible.

I'm not sure. Maybe by trying to make you fall for her, and then using/embarrassing you? Although, I just read your original post again, and I don't think you'd give a rat's ass. Heh, you'd probably even find entertainment out of it.

Poorly treated woman back in my life?

I'll respond to your title - a person with a history of being poorly treated is a person everyone should avoid. They only ever identify with or respond to poor treatment. And if they're not getting it, they'll soon create some sort of drama to compensate or ignite more poor treatment. They were get bored with a person who treats them well.

Best avoid.

.

Poorly treated woman back in my life?

 

I'll respond to your title - a person with a history of being poorly treated is a person everyone should avoid. They only ever identify with or respond to poor treatment. And if they're not getting it, they'll soon create some sort of drama to compensate or ignite more poor treatment. They were get bored with a person who treats them well.

 

Best avoid.

 

.

AO

You misunderstand. Barky fully intends to treat her poorly.

OP

It seems like you've spent a lot of time keeping up with her for the last 1.5 years. Sure you're not obsessed.

I think she's been using the last 1.5 years practicing with her Bobbit Knife and you're about to walk into a trap.

AO

You misunderstand. Barky fully intends to treat her poorly.

I take your point but for the most part - I am generally talking to the audience.

.

Well, funny you guys should pick up on the poor treatment. There's a little nugget of info I neglected to share in the first post, because I wasn't sure I wanted to go there: she was raped at some point in her life.

She tried to bring it up once but I didn't really want to hear the gory details so I let it slide with a "Well, buck up little trooper" or some such statement. She never brought it up again, and I didn't.

Maybe that has something to do with it?

i think she was warm because she no longer cares about what happened. she let go of her anger. whether that's to your advantage, i don't know. but it sounds like something i'd do...once i let go of something, i would either ignore someone completely or just treat them like any other person.

if you just want to "hit" something, why can't you just find someone or something to bang, someone who just wants what you want. if she was nice, then just let her be.

Well, funny you guys should pick up on the poor treatment. There's a little nugget of info I neglected to share in the first post, because I wasn't sure I wanted to go there: she was raped at some point in her life.

 

She tried to bring it up once but I didn't really want to hear the gory details so I let it slide with a "Well, buck up little trooper" or some such statement. She never brought it up again, and I didn't.

 

Maybe that has something to do with it?

I really, REALLY hope that this is a thread troll. If it's not, and you are posting about treating a girl poorly ON PURPOSE who has been raped, then you should seriously be reported.

Consider yourself warned.

I really, REALLY hope that this is a thread troll. If it's not, and you are posting about treating a girl poorly ON PURPOSE who has been raped, then you should seriously be reported.

 

Consider yourself warned.

Oohh your authority overwhelms me.

But before threatening random people online, you might consider reading their posts. At no time did I suggest I wanted to treat her poorly, only that I had already. I want to get in her pants, and was looking for advice on how to do so.

thx for playing tho

Oohh your authority overwhelms me.

 

But before threatening random people online, you might consider reading their posts. At no time did I suggest I wanted to treat her poorly, only that I had already. I want to get in her pants, and was looking for advice on how to do so.

 

thx for playing tho

No problem. Just keeping an eye out for snakes.

Why would your approach with her be any different than you used in the beginning? Sounds like the slate is relatively clean, other than the fact that she has already slept with you, so some of the "first time" resistance may be absent. Just do what you would normally. Who knows, maybe she wants a casual tumble too? It has been some time.

Why would your approach with her be any different than you used in the beginning? Sounds like the slate is relatively clean, other than the fact that she has already slept with you, so some of the "first time" resistance may be absent. Just do what you would normally. Who knows, maybe she wants a casual tumble too? It has been some time.

All right, you've given me invaluable advice. I know exactly how I will proceed now. Follow the steps of my original seduction, but with a twist that takes into account our current situation and history.

I went over drunk one night and it finally happened. Romantic, I know.

So you're suggesting that you were inside of her house?

Did she invite you?

Please troll another thread.

Please troll another thread.

This is your post, and as such, I was trying to provide the best advice possible.

So, you actually met this woman and had romantic relations with her?....

And she told you she was raped?

Well that's certainly not something most people would tell anyone except for maybe family members and very close friends.

Well that's certainly not something most people would tell anyone except for maybe family members and very close friends.

It's more common than one would think, early disclosure of such things is part of the standard personality disordered MO, sets the hook and attracts the "white knight" in men. Who know whether barky's woman is disordered, just saying it's not uncommon for women to reveal traumatic experiences very early.

Wow, hopefully she uses the Rules on you

Wow, hopefully she uses the Rules on you

I get filtered out by The Rules, and gladly so