Online guy travelling thousands of miles accross the atlantic to meet me! :)

Well Im hoping and praying my luck has changed.

I started talking to a guy online in August and shortly after the first email and picture exchanges he was making plans to come and see me, he is coming in 2 weeks!

Feeling very excited but aprehensive as well.

I so want this to go right, and we end up together and I relocate.

I know what I want from life, to be a traditional wife and mother - its what I have always wanted since I was a kid, unfortunately I have now reached the age of 28 and it hasnt happened for me yet.

Hoping this guy is the one, however - although he has discussed the idea of me going over to see him and/or taking me on holiday to meet some of his friends if we hit it off, he has not exactly said precisely what he is looking for - long term, one week stand etc.

Perhaps I should have asked him to clarify this early on before he booked flights, now Im left wondering - what if hes just coming for a shag then I dont hear from him again? But then I keep telling myself he wouldnt be going to all this effort if it was all about getting laid, I mean it would be far cheaper and less hassle for him to go to a local bar and find a woman for that, also why would he suggest future plans if he didnt mean it? I think Im just worrying too much as my last man promised me a new life in Brazil then just dropped out of contact on me and brutally abandoned me like he always did. Also, online guy is 35 and has never been married or had any kids as far as I know, Im thinking hes at the sort of age where he may be looking for something serious?

Everything has looked really positive, its my bad past experiences that have scarred me emotionally and now I fear abandonment, also find it hard to believe a guy would like me enough to make me his exclusive girlfriend - I dont want my lack of confidence to show.

I guess my main question here is whether or not I should tell him Im scared of getting hurt, ask him what his intentions are and what he wants from life - also as Im a very honest and forthright person I would like to be able to make it clear to him what I want without scaring him off! I just dont want him to return to the US not knowing where I stand. But then all the friends Ive spoken to about this have said he will probably thinking the same - that he will be eager to know where this is going too.

You must be hot as f*ck if you've got guys overseas flying thousands of miles.

You must be hot as f*ck if you've got guys overseas flying thousands of miles.

LOL thank you well he keeps telling me I am...I just need to start believing it myself and get over my paranoia about whether he likes me enough to make this long term/long distance.

Why would you be the one that relocates ?

Why can't he ?

Honestly.. if I were in your shoes I would be doing a background check on someone that is crossing the Atlantic aftee only knowing someone a couple of months..

Not wanting to poo poo the idea but caution should be used by you in this case.. not only for your safety but also so you don't get scammed by a scam artist.

Just make sure the guy is ont he up and up and isn't married too.

Some stranger is flying thousands of miles to see you and that makes you happy?

IM a guy and it would freak me the hell out.

Indeed, I would be afraid too.

And what's up with them all wanting you to move away with them? Do they not realise the US is the greatest country on earth? DUH.

Make them move here. Or maybe that's what they secretly want. Citizenship.

Why would you be the one that relocates ?

 

Why can't he ?

 

Honestly.. if I were in your shoes I would be doing a background check on someone that is crossing the Atlantic aftee only knowing someone a couple of months..

 

Not wanting to poo poo the idea but caution should be used by you in this case.. not only for your safety but also so you don't get scammed by a scam artist.

 

Just make sure the guy is ont he up and up and isn't married too.

We have not discussed relocating yet anyway but if it got to that stage I would be more than happy to do so as I love adventure and travel, also Ive never really been happy where I live now so it certainly makes sense. Why on earth would I pass on that opportunity?!?!

I have talked with him enough to know he is genuine, thank you for caring and looking out for me in that respect. I probably am too trusting, but this just felt right. He is definately not married, he lives with his parents for now.

When you say he could be a scam artist - please elaborate? How do you mean?

Some stranger is flying thousands of miles to see you and that makes you happy?

 

IM a guy and it would freak me the hell out.

I was sceptical about online dating before, but this just felt like the right thing to do. Of course I want him to visit me here, how else will we find out if we hit it off in real life?!

I love adventure and travel, also Ive never really been happy where I live now so it certainly makes sense. Why on earth would I pass on that opportunity?!?!

Traveling and relocating are two different things. One is permanent, one is not. Just remember that.

The US is a big nation, with many types of terrain, climate and settings. You may not be happy where you are but are you sure you couldn't find someplace in the US? Lol. Just a thought.

Indeed, I would be afraid too.

 

And what's up with them all wanting you to move away with them? Do they not realise the US is the greatest country on earth? DUH.

 

Make them move here. Or maybe that's what they secretly want. Citizenship.

Actually I am from the UK and hes from the US.

And we have not discussed living together yet anyways!

Im not anti online dating.

IM anti online dating people who live out of ones driving distance, never mind thousands of miles away lol.

IM also anti dating people you cant meet fairly soon, and where a virtual relationship acts as a substitute for an actual one.

Where is the good outcome in this. Youve allowed yourself to become emotionally invested in an individual who you can rarely if ever see in person, and where the only remedy involves your relocating thousands of miles away for someone youll hardly know, regardles of how many times you visit till then.

All this for a guy so apparently desperate (I know you guys hit it off, special connection blah blah) hell fly out thousands of miles to meet a girl.

If he doesnt have dangerous intentions towards you, which is entirely possible, or some desire to use you in some way, youre still stuck with a guy who has some serious issues.

Not trying to burst your bubble, its clear you feel happy and excited, but this is just a bad idea, even if it doesnt turn out horrifically

Yeah, what if when you first meet him, he's wearing MANLET SHOES to make him taller! Lol

Pics can be decieving, be veeery careful.

Yeah, what if when you first meet him, he's wearing MANLET SHOES to make him taller! Lol

 

Pics can be decieving, be veeery careful.

I'd love to see someone dancing backwards in those manlet shoes.

Ginger Rodgers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it in heels and backwards.

Totaly thread/jack sorry.

Yeah, what if when you first meet him, he's wearing MANLET SHOES to make him taller! Lol

 

Pics can be decieving, be veeery careful.

and make sure he is over 6 ft tall & doesn't have stubby fingers.

Im not anti online dating.

 

IM anti online dating people who live out of ones driving distance, never mind thousands of miles away lol.

 

IM also anti dating people you cant meet fairly soon, and where a virtual relationship acts as a substitute for an actual one.

 

Where is the good outcome in this. Youve allowed yourself to become emotionally invested in an individual who you can rarely if ever see in person, and where the only remedy involves your relocating thousands of miles away for someone youll hardly know, regardles of how many times you visit till then.

 

All this for a guy so apparently desperate (I know you guys hit it off, special connection blah blah) hell fly out thousands of miles to meet a girl.

 

If he doesnt have dangerous intentions towards you, which is entirely possible, or some desire to use you in some way, youre still stuck with a guy who has some serious issues.

 

Not trying to burst your bubble, its clear you feel happy and excited, but this is just a bad idea, even if it doesnt turn out horrifically

So you think that makes him appear desperate, the fact hes travelling accross the globe to meet me? Why would his intentions be sinister? Why would he even bother wasting his time? Why be so cynical? It may be that - SHOCKER - this does work out and I relocate, whats wrong with that? Must everyone stick to dating local people?!

Hon, you might get slightly less cynical responses if you post in the LDR forums instead. Just a little hint. Some people can't accept getting to know someone online, and they believe everybody should share their opinions.

I've met plenty of online friends. Honestly, it's very very unlikely that someone would spend all the time, money and effort to fly thousands of miles to rape you, murder you, or kidnap you. Equally unlikely for him to do so for an ONS. I do, however, think that it's always prudent to meet the person in a public place, take precautions like letting someone close to you know, etc.

Also, I agree that you should talk to him about where the two of you are heading during the visit.

and make sure he is over 6 ft tall & doesn't have stubby fingers.

You wouldn't believe what i have learnt in this forum about people who are over 6 feet tall.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

Something else to confess. Great.

When you say he could be a scam artist - please elaborate? How do you mean?

First off.. I'm not saying he is a scam artist.. I'm saying you need to make sure he isn't one..

A typical out of the country scam artist will ask you for some money at one point.. maybe ask that you pay for the tickets to him to fly out.

If borrowing money ever comes up in any conversation then he is a scam artist.. if he makes it look like he can't afford something and asks you to pay.. then he is a scam artist...

even if he asks you to put the tickets on your CC and he will pay you back.. Scam artist..

Good luck...

I met my wife on Match so I believe in the Love that online dating can bring albeit we lived in the same state but without Match I wouldn't have met her, married her and had the most beautiful son.

Just be careful... that is all...

My boyfriend and I were online friends for 2 years before meeting. . . just friends. Before meeting, we saw each other by webcam and talked on the phone. . .that way we kind of know what to expect. As the previous posters said, pics can be deceiving. Our meeting turned out well, but we have taken things more slowly, which I suggest you both do as it may come across as desperate. I don't think he is looking just for sex as traveling requires a big effort, and he is talking about you traveling there, . . .

Good luck with that meeting. A LDR is not easy, and at first there is the euphoria, "fantasy" of what the other person is like, which might cloud your judgment. . . that is why things should be taken slower. It can work, lots work.

Definitly go over to the LDR forum, a lot more support there.

I've done it before and am currently doing it now. Some people just don't get how it works, but sometimes the one for you just isn't local.

My boyfriend is the most amazing person I have ever met, I can't imagine not having persued a LDR with him.

I wish you luck!

Definitly go over to the LDR forum, a lot more support there.

 

I've done it before and am currently doing it now. Some people just don't get how it works, but sometimes the one for you just isn't local.

 

My boyfriend is the most amazing person I have ever met, I can't imagine not having persued a LDR with him.

 

I wish you luck!

Youre a girl!!!!!

I would of never guessed it from your posts.

Hon, you might get slightly less cynical responses if you post in the LDR forums instead. Just a little hint. Some people can't accept getting to know someone online, and they believe everybody should share their opinions.

 

I've met plenty of online friends. Honestly, it's very very unlikely that someone would spend all the time, money and effort to fly thousands of miles to rape you, murder you, or kidnap you. Equally unlikely for him to do so for an ONS. I do, however, think that it's always prudent to meet the person in a public place, take precautions like letting someone close to you know, etc.

 

Also, I agree that you should talk to him about where the two of you are heading during the visit.

Yes I am meeting him in a public place for the first time we see each other, also I have no intentions of sleeping with him until at least the third date. And I have already spend lots of time bending my friends/sisters/roommates ear with all the details! So there will be many people rooting for me and totally aware of my whereabouts!

That's great!

Have a great time then, and do fill us in about how it went later!

BTDT and hope you and he have a great time. I have fond memories of those adventures back when the internet was young.

So you think that makes him appear desperate, the fact hes travelling accross the globe to meet me?

In one word, YES.

Unless he travels to the UK often and has an unlimited disposable income and enjoys being a jetsetter...