People who talk too much

How do you guys handle people who ramble or over-elaborate and over-describe everything? Quite frankly, I get irritated listening to someone recount an entire conversation for me instead of just telling me what happened.

Once in a while it's necessary to go into great detail, but I'm talking to the level of including completely unnecessary and irrelevant details. It gets to the point where there is so much detail that I have a hard time understanding, because I can't pick out the pieces I need from this barrage of words!

I once listened to my gf talk for 8 mins straight. I was watching the call timer on my phone.

Oh man I hate that, I'm always thinking 'just get to the friggin point, I'm bored here'.

I'm not sure if there is anything you could do face to face without looking rude. If it's on the phone you could say you've gotta go to tend to something, but I guess you wouldn't be able to do that everytime because people would get suspicous.

Nothing makes me crazier than people who can not distinguish between important and trivial information. To them, every detail is just as important as every other and needs to be drawn out at length. I deal with people like this on the job every day.

The only solution I know is to direct their conversation. Interrupt them if you have to--nicely. Keep them on track. Summarize what they say and repeat your version back to them. After a listening to a condensed version of what they said a few times, they usually get an idea about what a reasonable amount of detail is.

Textual version of verbal diahrrea:

Hi Honey, I went to the store and bought eight red grapes, three carrots, four apples, fifteen bananas, a pound of sugar, you know the kind that's granular instead of sugar cubes, white and really sweet, also bought a pound of steak, 5 entire pounds of yellow potatoes for $3.99, you have to buy yellow potatoes because they taste so good, really yummy and if you cook them right, they're not starchy at all.

Acceptable version:

Hi Honey, I went grocery shopping today and got a great deal on yellow potatoes.

lol three, that's exactly it! In fact, my gf actually did tell me the entire contents of her grocery shopping last week. I even talked to her about it but she got upset.

How to deal??

How to deal??

just tell her you're leaving her cause she's too verbose

but then again i'd take a woman who talks too much over one with stinky pussy syndrome any day

just tell her you're leaving her cause she's too verbose

 

but then again i'd take a woman who talks too much over one with stinky pussy syndrome any day

So helpful. Thanks.

its the difference in Concrete Thinking verses Abstract thinking. And from that we get conversation.

My boss prefers Concrete thinking. Data only.

One of my endearing friends prefers Abstract thinking. Where in all the fluffy details are adjectived and emotion driven.

To each there own. Neither is the better. In business Go Concrete ( Readers Digest Version).

In friendship/relationships Go Abstract thinking.

One is head dealt, one is heartfelt. you decide based on the circumstance.

This happens to me alot during work teleconferences... I just sit back and remind myself that I bill by the hour.

its the difference in Concrete Thinking verses Abstract thinking. And from that we get conversation.

 

My boss prefers Concrete thinking. Data only.

 

One of my endearing friends prefers Abstract thinking. Where in all the fluffy details are adjectived and emotion driven.

 

To each there own. Neither is the better. In business Go Concrete ( Readers Digest Version).

In friendship/relationships Go Abstract thinking.

 

One is head dealt, one is heartfelt. you decide based on the circumstance.

That makes perfect sense, thanks for that. I try to remind myself that she's rapport talking and not report talking but it still gets frustrating. It's just that by the time she finishes I'm so bored that I have no reaction.

I'll keep working on being patient.

This happens to me alot during work teleconferences... I just sit back and remind myself that I bill by the hour.

lol, I should bill my gf by the hour.

Here's something that talks about a team approach towards work building but it appears to cover some of what Tayla references.

Based on this, it appears that you're "Concrete/Sequential" and she's "Abstract/Random".

http://classes.uleth.ca/200903/educ3504pqr/ED3504_2009/Welcome_files/Gregorc%204-Quadrant%20Model.pdf

I would convert those definers as logical and emotional, which I've mentioned to you before. The two of you are like night and day, in how you think.

I cannot stand when I talk for a long time and have even less patience for someone else. Its not the length of time, I'm happy to give my time...but get to the freaking point. I dont need details. I dont need adjectives. Sometimes when people go on and on I feel like saying:

"What time will you be shutting up? Hmm?"

I have started using the phrase "Stay focused" to a couple of habitual abusers, not to be rude but my god, I have a life to live.

people who talk non-stop drive me mental. perhaps because i am introverted and small talk is hard for me to take for very long.

my old boss was the extreme chatter, a simple 5 minute discussion about a certain client would turn into an hour long bout of pointless conjecture.

often i would think about stabbing myself in the leg with her letter opener just to end the meeting.

i finally developed a strategy where i would stand up, and slowly start making my way out of her office, while she still rambled on.

I once timed a friend on the phone........38 minutes without me getting a word in.....................

I've since learned to weed those types out of my inner circle.

My brother is a long-winded guy when it comes to talking or explaining something. Something that can be told in 5 lines, he'd tell it like it's written in 5 paragraphs!!!! Drives me NUTS all the time!

Here's something that talks about a team approach towards work building but it appears to cover some of what Tayla references.

 

Based on this, it appears that you're "Concrete/Sequential" and she's "Abstract/Random".

 

http://classes.uleth.ca/200903/educ3504pqr/ED3504_2009/Welcome_files/Gregorc%204-Quadrant%20Model.pdf

 

I would convert those definers as logical and emotional, which I've mentioned to you before. The two of you are like night and day, in how you think.

Thanks, will definitely be looking this over when I have more time.

I cannot stand when I talk for a long time and have even less patience for someone else. Its not the length of time, I'm happy to give my time...but get to the freaking point. I dont need details. I dont need adjectives. Sometimes when people go on and on I feel like saying:

"What time will you be shutting up? Hmm?"

 

I have started using the phrase "Stay focused" to a couple of habitual abusers, not to be rude but my god, I have a life to live.

Completely agree! I've been saying "ok I get it. I get it. mm hmm, yes I get it." or quickly restating what she said in one short sentence and I think it's starting to help.

The interrupting is the habit she's having a hard time breaking.

My brother is a long-winded guy when it comes to talking or explaining something. Something that can be told in 5 lines, he'd tell it like it's written in 5 paragraphs!!!! Drives me NUTS all the time!

That's why I prefer texting with a lot of people. Unfortunately I can't make texting my only communication with my gf.

Unfortunately I can't make texting my only communication with my gf.

I'd love to hear her wordy response to that simple truth

just tell her you're leaving her cause she's too verbose

 

but then again i'd take a woman who talks too much over one with stinky pussy syndrome any day

She likely is very sexually active and does not wash the semen out of there...And then there are the women who have a Bacterial Vaginosis infection...not pleasant.

Tell her to wash the darn thing ! lol

Phateless, maybe you can avoid leading questions like "how was your day" or "how are you doing?". Instead say, "you look like you've had a tough day. Sit down and I'll give you a quick shoulder massage. Relax and don't say anything or you'll tense up again".

Phateless, maybe you can avoid leading questions like "how was your day" or "how are you doing?". Instead say, "you look like you've had a tough day. Sit down and I'll give you a quick shoulder massage. Relax and don't say anything or you'll tense up again".

lol I like that. Hey TBF, I just realized that you're TBF. Why the name change?

lol I like that. Hey TBF, I just realized that you're TBF. Why the name change?

Hmmm...another way to avoid vague convos, is to drive the topics of discussion. If you only talk about things she doesn't understand, no worries about her going on and on! Talk cars!

Did I just talk too much?

The username Trialbyfire was created during a negative part of my life. Now that I'm entering a new, positive stage, with the upcoming marriage and baby, it's time for a positive username!

 

Hmmm...another way to avoid vague convos, is to drive the topics of discussion. If you only talk about things she doesn't understand, no worries about her going on and on! Talk cars!

 

Did I just talk too much?

Congrats lady! So happy to hear that, and in that case I can get behind the new user name. I do appreciate you keeping the initials though, keeps things simple.

Oy vey if only I could drive a conversation for a change. Another problem is that she interrupts constantly and then accuses me of repeating myself when I'm only trying to finish my original thought.

...

Oy vey if only I could drive a conversation for a change. Another problem is that she interrupts constantly and then accuses me of repeating myself when I'm only trying to finish my original thought.

Is she uptight?

Is she uptight?

Yes.

(stupid message length requirements)