GF/BF loves U, or are U an asset?

OK, I have read much of the forum, subscribed to girl e-newsletters and have not come to any answers regarding being loved/appreciated for yourself vs as an asset.

Most of the girl e-newsletters that I received make the guy out to be a prop for marriage: quantify his looks, his emotional/time reserves and his income; and the girls relate to each other based on that status. It is kinda disheartening, but I can live with it.

So... I am single guy very young 30s and a doctor, and don't want to be w/ someone who will just see me as a ticket out of their routine existance (see the end of the message why).

My questions are:

1. How do I know when the girl wants me as a prop and asset vs for me? Please give specific tests not opinions. Girls who are used to disqualifying guys will probably be the best at answering this question. I think it is a loaded question, b/c I would like to test early prior to relationship, and then while in relationship.

2. Or is question 1 a bs question, since I should just _always_ look for an equal so I don't even have to worry? This means disqualifying anybody who does not pass immediately even if I feel a connection with her... Remember girls, as a guy, I am much more effective as a dater if I have a preset plan: I either escalate and the girl can follow, or leave situation alone and the opportunity is gone forever. This is just a reality of dating, I lead, girls can either follow or not.

Girls, couples, help me out here.

I think girls who want me for money and resources will never be happy, b/c I will never have as much money and resources as others. Somehow, in real life, they don't compare their situations with their humble beginnings, but to what others have. I will fail their test for status and resources 100% of the time and I will just be annoyed by their behavior.

I tend to not to ever be attracted to high income guys, so take that with a grain of salt when I give my advice:

-the female wanting to go to expensive restaurants and ordering the appetizers, main course , wine and dessert can be one indication she is looking for a meal ticket in a partner.

-always going to more top tier/pricey events and expecting you to pay

-why don't you just date in your own social/financial circles so this won't be an issue??

STOP! Don't read that crud! People write those to fill up space, not to dispense truth.

But, if your concerned about alterior motives, the only solution is to get to know the person before committing to them. There is no test you can perform to weed out the unworthy. People don't tend to lend themselves to empirical tests.

My exSIL use to test guys.

She would tell them she wanted to go this one particularly expensive restaurant, she'd order the most expensive dinner offered, she'd take two bites and then bring the rest home in a doggie bag to share with her grandparents.

If the guy didn't flinch when the bill would come she'd date him again.

Yeah, I would certainly fail your exSIL test about the expensive dinner. And more importantly, she would fail mine.

I don't ever take romantic potentials to dinner. If I win a dinner for free, I would rather take my friends than a girl who does not know me. Maybe like my 4th date and only after I know the girl is more interested in me more than the dinner she is getting.

All the girl gets is a cup of coffee or beverage, good time, joking, fun stories, an unique perspective in my imagination, some Kino/escalation and contradictory usage of words like " just friends". I just don't like it if I am starting to get to know a girl and I buy her stuff b/c to me I am being fake, since I feel that I am trying to impress her when I don't even know her!

Even then, there are girls who still pass this test but still just want to be Mrs Doctor's wife...

I like the idea of getting to know the person, the problem is that my perception of her becomes very subjective by emotion rather than facts. Yeah, I hate to admit it, but I can be a romantic vs sexually obsessed fool too...

Nobody has mentioned this, but maybe get to know her best friends and note their values. If they believe "man is a money prop" my guess is that she would as well. Still, I am fairly socially adept and find it difficult to test her girlfriends on such a heavy topic. Let me explain:

The group of girls overall becomes an "emotional collective" and if I don't stay fun/light/carefree OR it has not been revealed to them that their girlfriend really likes me, then I am toast (unless I have made a strong emotional connection w/ another girl in the group who will stand up for me).

So then I have to let things cool down and then get back in touch w/ the girl. But that would be catching up, and that just sucks. Defeats the whole purpuse of me being proactive.

Any other ideas/tests?

I would just say that you should find an independent girl with a future ahead of her. This way you know she doesn't need you in her life but rather wants you there.