Thinking about making love to my co-worker

I cannot believe I'm going to talk about this, but I have nowhere else to turn. Friends have slowly zoned me out when I speak about my marital problems. If they knew this was happening, I fear they would tell my balding fat husband who pretty much has deprived me of sex on a long-term basis. I don't even remember the last time we had sex, but it was over a month ago.

The only thing I worry about is my 5 year old child, but as long as I keep it discreet and to myself, my kid's world will not be turned upside down YET at least.

Honestly, I've been contemplating leaving my marriage for about a 2 years and I've only been married 3 years but together with the same man for 7.

Anyways, enough about that.

There is this man at work who at a higher tier than me in the office. I see him almost daily and he manages to make whatever spare time he has to see me whether at lunch breaks, even waiting around the bathroom if he saw me go in. He is a very handsome Italian probably even a little younger than me, but I'm not sure. He is absolutely amazing; the way he talks, walks, everything about him. Anyways, several times he has touched me in an inappropriate manner. Once on my ass and four times my chest. He generally tended to brush against me in close proximity. I've never seen him do that with anyone else. He's married too but I don't know if there are any kids involved.

Now this was the most sexual gesture I've received from him up until last friday: Once when I had to deliver a message to his office, he closed the door and asked me to check out something on his computer. He actually pulled me down a little and told me to get a closer look practically forcing me to sit on his lap. It was somewhat erotic in a sense, but I was too nervous to even loosen up and enjoy it.

Anyways, Last Friday while I was at work late finishing up some loose ends, I went to the restroom right before I was about to leave. When I got out, there he was. At that time there were only about 4 people left in the office about half being the cleaning staff. He asked me to come to his office again and told me out loud that the boss is displeased with my work. Anyways, I went with him and then he shut the door. He said he was just joshing with me but he did need to speak to me about something. He told me that he was given a raise and asked if I could celebrate a little with him as he didn't want to waste a whole bottle of champagne. I said sure. He proceeded to pour himself and me some of an already popped champagne. So we just sat and talked about his promotion and just laughed about the boss and some of the oddball co-workers there. Then he went onto giving me a barrage of compliments about how he can't believe someone with my caliber of looks and humor actually works at that position there. He said that my husband must be rich or something special and said I was probably a gold-digger or something along those lines. I said, if I was, you think I'd be working here? Anyways, he said I was sexy and at that time I had about 4-5 glasses of champage and him probably more as he was drinking even before I came into his office it seemed. He then asked if my breasts are real and I said yes. He told me he it's been a long time since he felt real breasts since manyof his past girls and wife have implants and he asked me if he can touch them. I said ok, but just a quick touch. Anyways, he said how much betterthey felt than implants cause they are hard etc. I was really horny at that time as I tend to get when I drink and being deprived emotionally and physically from my husband. So I asked him to feel the other one too. He grabbed my breasts and pulled me to him and then he pulledme over to his desk where he sat and pulled me onto his lap. My breasts at that time were in his face and I was still holding my champage and just giggling. I'm about 5'4" and my boss is about 6" something or other so it was more comfy on a moreeven level when he got me on his lap i guess. Then I said out loud, 'what the hell are we doing?" And he said, " you tell me"... I remeber that distinctly.

He took my champagne and put it to my lips to drink the rest, then put the empty glass onhis desk and took off my blouse.. I only had a bra on and i held onto my breasts as he started sucking them.

At that point, I told him that I cant and that im married. He said he knows but he thinks we can move up together in the office as long as we stick together and he said he would pass every opportunity my way and give some respectable words about me to the boss or something like that. At that time in my drunken haze, that was enough to validate my actions because im hurting for money. So he continued to kiss me on my lips, neck and chest and then i was just stroking his hair and telling him how hot he was etc. I asked him if he planned this and he said no. He said, your husband would kill us wouldn't he? I said UH HUH. Atthis time he took off his pants and I sat on his lap with only boxer shorts on. Then i got a call on my cell in my purse which was on the floor at the time. I jumped up and got it. it was my hubby and he asked whyi was so late. i told him that i had to finish things at the office, drop off something to a friend's house and that i was in the middle of picking up some groceries. at that point, it jolted me a little bit into reality and i told the om that i had to leave. He told me to get a cab as i was in no position to drive. i told him , what will i tell my hsuband. he said to say that the car broke down. So we both ended up taking a cab and we were kissing and stuff almost the whole way and i asked to be dropped off a block from my home at a grocery store. The om text messaged me on the weekend and today at work was pretty stern withme about not getting back to him because it was work-related. i highly doubt that. Today after work he asked me to come to his office reallyquick and told me that he's sorry he let things get out of hand at the office on fri and that it's his fault cause of the liquor etc and that he wanted to make it up to me this fri after work with a meeting he arranged with the boss, him and myself. The boss is a sleazeball and I highly doubt I'm going to get a raise. I just wonder what this whole mess is about.

I'm starting to think that the only reason i married my hubby was because of our child together and he sweet-talked me into thinking our lives would get better. I was highly against marriage and he pushed me into it so he could chain himself to me. If I divorce, I risk losing my savings and some other things i have under my name to his ass. Sometimes, I dream of just taking our child and running off never to be heard from again. I hate my life, I hate him and what he let our life become. He doesn't want to move either. He wants to stay in the chit state we are in and city and im sick of it. If itdoesn't get better which im guessing it won't, im just going to have to resort to having a f'buddy on the side to give me the excitement and affection I crave. Prodding and prodding to no avail, my hubby just would rather not have sex with methat often. He works a lot and maybe that's why he's tired, but enough isenough. Im a little drunk now and i wish i was in this state all thetime, cause it's theonly thing that makes me somewhat happy.

Well it sounds like serious troubles. Do you have any love at all for your husband? If you could look beyond all your resentments towards him (no sex, works too much, etc) would you even LOVE him? If not, then I think you will never be happy in your marriage, regardless of how many drunk Italian's hit on you. Sorry but you resenting the H while banging an F'buddy is NOT a loving household for your child.

If you DO have any love left for the H, I would suggest you tell him everything you just told us here. Perhaps this could be the start of some major changes in the both of you.

Looks like you haven't changed much since your first post back in July:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=844436#post844436

Did you end up screwing that guy, and you are ready for another one?

Nothing can say it better than your own words, taken from a post back in October:

The only REAL person a CHEATING man thinks about is HIMSELF. Selfish to the core.

Goes for women too, you know. Even you.

Here's another one:

Hiding and keeping secrets is a big no-no.

Consider taking your own advice here. Divorce your husband. Get a good lawyer to protect your assets if you must, if that is such a concern for you. I guarantee you he'll drop that weight, find his sex drive, and move on to find a much better woman for a wife.

As for 'staying for the child' stuff, your own advice to a cheating man raised my eyebrows a bit:

Oh, but from the impression you gave, you seem to have no problems with "affairs". Nice positive influence there daddy dearest. I bet your kids are already picking up on your selfishness and putting it into their own character.

Again, perhaps you should consider your own advice here. You can keep it as "discreet" as you like, if that is an excuse that works for you, but eventually kids will pick up on problems like this.

Want to consider unselfishness for a moment and clear those dollar signs out of your eyes? Get the divorce. Spare your husband a lifetime of being stuck with a cheat and a liar. Spare your child the shame and humiliation of having a philanderer for a parent.

You'll all be better off for it, I guarantee you.

As for your fat/bald husband, I have some good news and some bad news.

First the bad news: your husband is bald. GET OVER IT! It's pointless and annoying to hear someone complain about things which cannot be changed. You might as well blame your H when it rains outside because he has the same control over his hairline as he does the weather.

Now your husband's fatness: was he fat when you married? If so, then you married a fat man: End of Story (unless HE wants to change). If he has gained alot of weight since marriage, well that is good news because finally here is something YOU can help with. Do you help with buying groceries and/or cooking? Smaller portions and healthier choices will help him loose wieght. Do you help with keeping the family budget? Offer him a gym membership and suggest he leave the office 30/min early to go workout.

Every time I start thinking women aren't so bad I read something like this and I am ready to rip the female gender apart again.

Every time I start thinking women aren't so bad I read something like this and I am ready to rip the female gender apart again.

Damn was Woggle having a breakthrough? Dammit LittleLady

Damn was Woggle having a breakthrough? Dammit LittleLady

Every time I start to have a breakthough I see something like this. I have moments where I think I am being too hard on women but something comes along that justifies my views in my mind.

Every time I start to have a breakthough I see something like this. I have moments where I think I am being too hard on women but something comes along that justifies my views in my mind.

Well maybe you should stay away from LS when you are having your breakthroughs? Give it time to sink in

Jesus I thought that I was reading an excerpt from Mills and Boon.

First of all you are extremely naive. This guy at the office is straight up playing you and you've fallen for it.I'm pretty sure that he could sense your desperation a mile off.I wouldn't be surprised if that co-worker of yours is plotting something.I can guarantee that he'll start blackmailing you next.

As for your husband that crap about him forcing you into marriage is the biggest cop out I've ever heard. What!did he drag you down the aisle by the scruff of your neck and force you to say those vows? Did he also force you into having the child?

You need to wake up and have a look at how your behaving. Theres no use blaming your husband for whats going on. Like the saying goes "If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen". Maybe if you stopped complaining, got a grip, and stopped blaming and making excuses,then things might be a lot clearer for you.

It seems that all you care about is the financal aspect of things. If you are really adamant that you want out of the marriage then nothing or no-one will stand in your way(regardless whether you didn't have enough money to get by) Your more than capable on standing on your own two feet. Your just going to have to learn to be more self sufficient.

I mean how did you manage to cope before your husband came into your life?

Troll......You cannot get ten glasses or more out of a bottle of champagne!

. Anyways, several times he has touched me in an inappropriate manner. Once on my ass and four times my chest. He generally tended to brush against me in close proximity.

 

he closed the door and asked me to check out something on his computer. He actually pulled me down a little and told me to get a closer look practically forcing me to sit on his lap.

 

He then asked if my breasts are real and I said yes. He told me he it's been a long time since he felt real breasts since manyof his past girls and wife have implants and he asked me if he can touch them. I said ok, but just a quick touch. Anyways, he said how much betterthey felt than implants cause they are hard etc. I was really horny at that time as I tend to get when I drink and being deprived emotionally and physically from my husband. So I asked him to feel the other one too. He grabbed my breasts and pulled me to him and then he pulledme over to his desk where he sat and pulled me onto his lap. My breasts at that time were in his face and I was still holding my champage and just giggling.

 

took off my blouse.. I only had a bra on and i held onto my breasts as he started sucking them.

 

He said he knows but he thinks we can move up together in the office as long as we stick together and he said he would pass every opportunity my way and give some respectable words about me to the boss or something like that.

 

DOES THIS SOUND LIKE CLASSIC SEXUAL HARRASSMENT OR IS IT JUST ME?

Wooh, little you need to calm down and relax.

Did you ever think of trying MC or even therapy alone?

What you are doing and how you are thinking is not healthy. Not all men are SOBs. You resent your husband so much, that maybe even therapy is not going to undo all the damage. It sounds like a deep-seeded problem with even men in general.

What you did was very wrong, but there really is a chance for this to turn around for the good. You really need to tell your husband but maybe it would be easier to tell him in a therapy session. At least you two did not have sex yet. I would be very worried about how all of this will be affecting your job. The meeting on Friday might not necessarily be a good thing. It sounds like the pot roast is about to hit the fan and this mess will be unfolding before your eyes.

You need to divorce your husband NOW. You have so much hate and resentment towards him and that's not good for your 5 year old child.

I usually don't tell people to throw in towel, and get divorced without trying to fix things by going to marriage counselling, but in your situation, I say just end it now. Do it for you, do it for your kid and do it for your husband so HE can heal, and find a woman who will love and adore him, bald and all.

If they knew this was happening, I fear they would tell my balding fat husband who pretty much has deprived me of sex on a long-term basis. I don't even remember the last time we had sex, but it was over a month ago.

I used to date a balding fat guy too - however, I never married a guy I resented. I dont understand why you married him in the first place if things were already downhill BEFORE the marriage.

I cannot believe you let that thing happen with your boss, and I have to agree with everyone else - you seem to resent your husband too much for MC to work. Divorce. The kids won't be happy if their mom keeps going astray and hating their father.

"The greatest gift a father can give to his kids is to love their mother" - it goes for mothers too, you know.

Troll......You cannot get ten glasses or more out of a bottle of champagne!

Nope, not a troll. Although I wish it was. Check out her earlier thread. She's been thinking about cheating for quite a while now... if she hasn't already done so.

What you did was very wrong, but there really is a chance for this to turn around for the good. You really need to tell your husband but maybe it would be easier to tell him in a therapy session. At least you two did not have sex yet. I would be very worried about how all of this will be affecting your job. The meeting on Friday might not necessarily be a good thing. It sounds like the pot roast is about to hit the fan and this mess will be unfolding before your eyes.

I love Mrshellfire's line: "At least you two did not have sex yet". Oh really? LS is literally, littered (a dubious illeteration?) with posts that classify going to a strip club as cheating.. but having breasts sucked and legs fondled isn't "sex". Would it be "sex" if the poster had admitted to the little bit of fingering that went on?

In any case, the woman is a callous cheat. She has put at risk her "boring" marriage, and the future of her 5 year old child. Not a problem these days, after all almost everyone is doing it, right?

If this woman has any honor, she will go to her supervisor's, supervisor at work and report the sexual harrassment. Then she will go home and tell her husband exactly what she has done. She should also remind her current husband that she wasn't happy about marrying him in the first place, just to set things straight.

Full disclosure is the only gender neutral course of action for her to take. Go for it Littlelady, it's time to bare all (including your good natural breasts) to your husband and see where the trash falls.

I love Mrshellfire's line: "At least you two did not have sex yet". Oh really? LS is literally, littered (a dubious illeteration?) with posts that classify going to a strip club as cheating.. but having breasts sucked and legs fondled isn't "sex". Would it be "sex" if the poster had admitted to the little bit of fingering that went on?

 

In any case, the woman is a callous cheat. She has put at risk her "boring" marriage, and the future of her 5 year old child. Not a problem these days, after all almost everyone is doing it, right?

 

If this woman has any honor, she will go to her supervisor's, supervisor at work and report the sexual harrassment. Then she will go home and tell her husband exactly what she has done. She should also remind her current husband that she wasn't happy about marrying him in the first place, just to set things straight.

 

Full disclosure is the only gender neutral course of action for her to take. Go for it Littlelady, it's time to bare all (including your good natural breasts) to your husband and see where the trash falls.

True words indeed! I somehow don't think that she will report the critter to management. Seems to me that she enjoyed every bit of the action that took place.

There are people out there who behave in a reckless manner with no thought and consideration of others, and when s**t hits the fan instead of taking responsibility they tend to blame others.

I'd be very surprised if she even bothers to respond to her own post.

Well pardon the intrusion here. Anyone ever think this woman may be a little delusional? Her posts have seemed delusional from the get go. I think she has a very good imagination and she's lonely. But that's only me. Theater of the mind.

If it's not theater of the mind then I think she's a skuz. I absolutely do. I don't use harsh words and judemental words often but this woman is definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel. And for all you know Little Lady the two bosses could be preparing to blackmail you with a gangbang in order to keep your job, then again I bet you'd enjoy that. You are one sick woman. Seek some help. Even if it is just theater of the mind, seek some help. Quick.

Well pardon the intrusion here. Anyone ever think this woman may be a little delusional? Her posts have seemed delusional from the get go. I think she has a very good imagination and she's lonely. But that's only me. Theater of the mind.

 

If it's not theater of the mind then I think she's a skuz. I absolutely do. I don't use harsh words and judemental words often but this woman is definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel. And for all you know Little Lady the two bosses could be preparing to blackmail you with a gangbang in order to keep your job, then again I bet you'd enjoy that. You are one sick woman. Seek some help. Even if it is just theater of the mind, seek some help. Quick.

Reading her other post, she's even cheated on her husband before. I agree she probably would be up for a gangbang.

She's clearly a fantasist, and I think she would do well writing erotic fiction.

Lorr,

I'm with you there about the erotic literature, but still her's is a wee bit too tawdry for me. I'm disgusted by her posts. She has bashed many men on here for cheating and etc but she's way out there in a realm of her own. I feel sorry for her husband and her child. Sick twisted puppy. How sad.

I love Mrshellfire's line: "At least you two did not have sex yet". Oh really? LS is literally, littered (a dubious illeteration?) with posts that classify going to a strip club as cheating.. but having breasts sucked and legs fondled isn't "sex". Would it be "sex" if the poster had admitted to the little bit of fingering that went on?

 

In any case, the woman is a callous cheat. She has put at risk her "boring" marriage, and the future of her 5 year old child. Not a problem these days, after all almost everyone is doing it, right?

 

If this woman has any honor, she will go to her supervisor's, supervisor at work and report the sexual harrassment. Then she will go home and tell her husband exactly what she has done. She should also remind her current husband that she wasn't happy about marrying him in the first place, just to set things straight.

 

Full disclosure is the only gender neutral course of action for her to take. Go for it Littlelady, it's time to bare all (including your good natural breasts) to your husband and see where the trash falls.

LOL.

Yeah this is cheating all right, but she didn't have sex with him.. it could have been worse I guess. lol

My prior post was deleted on Tuesday. Geez. But that day I took off from work to collect myself and figure out where to go from there.

It ends up that my car has a transmission problem so I had to rely on my hubby to drive me to work wed, thur and fri. Each day I would have to find a means of transportation back home. Mostly taking the bus or getting a lift part-way with a co-worker.

Friday came and Jay ( i will refer to him as- the italian guy) emailed me in the middle of the day to be in his office after work. I did so and jay said a certain position was opening up in 2 weeks that I've been eyeing for a while and he could talk to the boss about giving it to me on a trial basis. He then told me to remember my end of the bargain. And I said, what's that? He poured me some wine and said to have fun once and a while. I was pretty much getting what he was saying. I have a feeling someone told him about my personal financial problems I told a few girlfriends and how I might need to look for a new job. We have problems making our mortgage payments, but that's a whole other story.

When I drink, I drink. I get so horny and can never control my sex drive when I'm hammered. I drank just about the whole bottle of wine and he offered to drive me home. I said I would be taking the bus. But he said he couldn't let me; i was too drunk to get home on my own. Anyways he gave me a lift home and when i was ready to get out of the car in front of my house, it was already dark. Plus jay's car has semi-tinted glass in front and limo tint in back. My hubby I knew was home by that time. Anyways, Jay said "WAIT"! Then he took by my hair and we started making out in the car. He asked me to get on top of him and I felt submissive like I had to obey. I got on top of him and he started putting his head in my breasts and said he wished i were his. Took off my shirt, pulled my bra down a little and he asked me if i could go with him to his private apt he has somewhere near the downtown area and i said no. So he said, 'then i'll have you here'. at that point we both went into the back and we started by myself bobbing up and down on him with his boxers on again and i had just my bra and panties on by that time. I swiveled back and forth on his hard big thing. I told him I wanted him inside me. He started caressing me down south and making me so hot, I felt like I couldn't stop. Then when some cars came by on the street, I got kind of scared. Bright lights and one parked right behind us. I said, "wait a sec". After they went in, Jay started giving me oral sex. YUM, my hubby never would do that. I must've came like twice from what I can remember. More times in 15 minutes than in my entire marriage. While he was down on me i was massaging his thing with my hand and a little with my mouth. It was so big, i wasn't used to the teeth placement needed to full-mouth it. But I was licking him and tried how I could to please him a little with him inside my mouth and kissing it. But he ended up coming to a climax when I finished him off with a hand job.

At the time, I was so hot and bothered.

when i got inside, i told my hubby that i had a few drinks with the girls from my work at a restaurant. my hubby asked what happened to my lips. My lips always get a little puffy after giving a bj and i said that i bumped into a wall- lame i know. me and my hubby finished the night off with some sex. If he only knew what he was screwing was just an hour prior being licked and sucked by another man.

Never once did he try rogaine or exercise.. just let himself delapidate.

But by the time the booze started wearing off, I felt surprisingly extremely guilty and then just decided to drown those sorrows with more liquor. I'm afraid I'm going to become an alcoholic at this pace. Never treated me well. Why should I be guilty for looking elsewhere when I've been treated like shi_ for several years? My girl and I deserve so much better than his fat lazy a##.

Is this for real?

If you husband is that bad, why not just have a full-blown affair already? Men have been doing it for ages.. just **** him at work a couple times a week to get that need satisfied. Your husband sounds like a lamo with the lard all over the place and hair falling out. What really matters in a relationship is sex and if he cant give it to you the way you want it, get it elsewhere. Divorce isn't always necessary. Just get your weekly bang-on going. Is that what you wanted to hear?

You've never said anything of the mistreatment of your husband, only that he's a balding, fat man.

Give us some details about his abuse or are you the real abuser?