i screwed up everything ...

is there a chance for me ? tell me.. guys... and be frank..

here is my background : i had made a huge mistake that i dumped my gf. She was so nice and faithful to me. She is the best gf i ever had. but i treated her like dung, until certain point where she was so sad and even i was so harsh with my words. She didnt do anything wrong but i was so frustating and i simply didnt know how i supposed to do. I cheated her few months before marriage. she gave me another chance but i simply screwed everything. I dumped her and i was very mean to her. so the marriage was cancelled and after that i never contacted her and neither did she.

After the break up i started dating other gals and i got into relationship. But it didnt work. It just make me realise that i had lost someone who is the right for me. i find she is still the best. Now,i want her so badly... i want to say i am sorry for the things i have done to her. I tried to call her mobile , but no response and i dont even know where she is now. She told me for the last time, that she might migrate to other country/other town because she was so sad abt the break up. But i think she might not do that. I came to the place she used to stay, and waited outside her door, but she was not there. i went to her working place, and called to her office they said she is no longer working there.

I am so frustating now.. where sould i find her... the only place i know is she is attending a church but i couldnt find her .... now i am going nuts,....i miss her so badly.

i want to be with her again.. and tell her that i am really sorry.. i really want to marry this girl. is there anyway to find her again.... anyone of you ever get back together after 1yr- more than that broke up? guys,... is there a chance for me? ladies what do u think ? i know i sound like a bastard..

Mr Lonely-

u think there is 1 thing you can do to salvage what you used to have.

Thinking about her right now, you only think of the good things about her, and when you talk to her you should tell her what you loved about her. But, dont make this the first words out of you mouth. at first, it's going to be hard to start a conversation with her, assuming she doesnt want you anymore. ask her to just hear you out, and being the nice person she is she'll grant you this wish.

oops sent it before it was ready!

tell her you were nervous about starting a new chapter in your life, and had to take it out on someone. and after a year you just can't keep her out of your mind.tell her the truth about why you think you spazzed out on her, and add some fluff if needed.

what im really trying to say is that you need to tell her what your feeling in an organized "speech". tell her the truth with minimal embellishments. she'll know if your telling the truth and she'll appreciate it.

Next, tell her why it's worth gettting back together with you. good times, and the things you remember and loved most.

Step 1) Start of the conversation, with a "Just let me try and tell you what i feel" introduction if she refuses

Step 2) Explain yourself. why did you wig out? why were you so mean? nervous? stressed? what...

Step 3) Why should she let you back into her life after a year? why now? explain that she was the one and was to stupid to realize it and 'you don't know what you got till it's gone' type of thing

Step 4) Remind her of times when you had fun and were deeply in love, and what you love most about her

hopefully this will help

-me

RE:

" findthe_answer: ladies what do u think ? i know i sound like a bastard.."

You are a bastard.

Leave her alone.

-Rio

RE:

 

 

 

 

 

You are a bastard.

 

Leave her alone.

 

-Rio

well said, Rio.

RE:

 

 

 

 

 

You are a bastard.

 

Leave her alone.

 

-Rio

thanks Rio,... i know iam a bad guy and i had made a huge mistake. But i really regret it... i really do... and i want her to know that i won't do the same thing again.i will treasure her.

sh*T...i dont even know how to reach her... where is she... ?

all the things that she said is true and i was so nasty to her and said that i didnt want listen her speech. but now everything she said is true. I want HER back...! is there a hope.. ? i always see her face in my mind.. and i couldnt describe how i regret it..

gals, if you were her,... will you give me chance ? how to win her back?

i've emailed her last week, but no reply... is she avoiding me ?

Sounds like she's already left the area. Or it could be that she is avoiding you because you represent all that is hurtful and painful to her.

What would you do if you got her back? Do you really think you wouldn't go back to behaving the way you did before, treating her badly, putting her down, cheating on her? You'd have to ask yourself why you treated her that way to begin with.

I don't know, you'd be surprised, a lot of girls who are put through abuse like that will give second chances, depending on their self-esteem and background. But it wouldn't be a good idea if you have a habit of mistreating your gf and taking her for granted. I would get help first, improve who you are as a person; change doesn't happen so easily. You might feel really sorry and bad about what you did now, but it doesn't necessarily mean it wouldn't be repeated.

gals, if you were her,... will you give me chance ? how to win her back?

 

i've emailed her last week, but no reply... is she avoiding me ?

no I would not give you a chance (simple answer) and would think you were even more a jerk for trying again but I *might* appreciate a sincere letter of apology. but without any pleas for reconsideration, that would make me upset.

it's best if you moved on.

oops sent it before it was ready!

 

Explain yourself. why did you wig out? why were you so mean? nervous? stressed? what...

-me

i had a broken marriage before and it affected me a lot. i pushed her away that time becasue i felt so embarashed that she found i chated her . she changed after she found that i cheated her.

i knew she loved me but i really gave up that time. She has all that i could ask from a girl , yet i felt guilty and i thought the only thing to make her leave me was by being harsh and nasty to her. and in the same time, i thaught that i wouldnt be happy if i stay with the relationship. i will constantly feel ashame n guilty.

she is very soft-hearted girl and sincere. So i was thinking, it would be better if she is not with me. since she found i chated her, everything is so different. n it was my fault.

i was so coward, and made up excuse and blame on her. i became brutally nasty just to get rid of her. i couldnt see her face, she was just speechless. moreover, i was seeing other girl and thiking that the new girl will bring more happiness and freedom for me. but i was wrong.

i guess now i have to pay the price... the relationship that i had after i broke up with her, never worked and messed up my life even more. and it makes me realize that she is the one that i need.

Sounds like she's already left the area. Or it could be that she is avoiding you because you represent all that is hurtful and painful to her.

absolutely agree. i think every gal in LS will do the same thing if the same thing happens to them. i think no body wants to get hurt again and again. and from your stroy... u treated her really bad.

NO GIRL want to be treated that way.unless they are insane.

I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like you did anything to really change. Ask yourself if you really, really did something, like therapy, whatever, and know 100% that you have changed.

Do try to get back together with her again if you haven't changed. You'll only hurt her again and probably more deeply. And you'll just be wasting your own time.

Don't use her as an emotional punching bag to alleviate your own pain of missing her, loneliness, etc. Maybe you NEED to lose her forever in order to really teach yourself the lesson of never hurting another girl again.

I meant to say DON'T try to get back together with her (not DO).

Maybe you NEED to lose her forever in order to really teach yourself the lesson of never hurting another girl again.

I know that i might have lost her forever.... I wish i could turn back the time when i was with her.

I heard from my friend few days ago, they saw her from a distance. She was with her friends ( iam glad that she was not with a guy). Even my friend took picture of her with his mobile phone. She looks more beautiful now. The feeling is so s**** when i saw the picture. I want her even more, knowing the she is in town.

i know i should move on but i couldnt stop thinking of her .

i will do anything to get her back and to make her happy. i will seek therapy or anything ...

leave her alone. Being with you or seeing you will only rehearse the painful and hurtful part in her life.

Is everyone agree ?

dont be so selfish...!

you always see things from your point of view... it is all about you ...

what u think ? how u feel? your broken marriage? your pride?

did it ever cross your mind to put your self in her shoes? do it at least once.. to know how she feel...

( iam glad that she was not with a guy)

I think if you really cared about your ex and her happiness, and if she did happen to be with another guy, looking cheerful and beautiful, you should be very happy for her.

I'd just concentrate on making yourself a better person, getting to the root of your past issues and deal with them for now.

I think if you really cared about your ex and her happiness, and if she did happen to be with another guy, looking cheerful and beautiful, you should be very happy for her.

I do care and i love her a lot. I really dont know how to get rid of this feeling . I couldnt imagine her with other guy. Not infront of me. I really will do anything to make her happy.

I'd just concentrate on making yourself a better person, getting to the root of your past issues and deal with them for now.

yeah, I will.

It seems like there is no hope for me to be with her. I want to see her.. even though just for a min. I want her to know that I am really sorry.

I think i am going mad now...

i emailed her again yesterday. But no repply but the icon showed she was online and the email account is still active.

" hi.. How are you doing ? How's life going on ? I would be glad if we can meet up or just have a cup of coffee together.Anytime you are free , just let me know . "

i cant take it anymore.. i have to find her...

she said in email " hi, glad to hear you again. thanks for asking. I am doing great . n u ?

Abt the meeting, i am afraid i might not be free,but u can email me . However, thanks . Have a good day"

thats it...

i replied " i am more than happy to get your email and to know that you are fine. My friend saw you few days ago. So i just wonder how u r doing. Can i give u a call ? did you change your mobile # ?

her reply : " i will let u know . i am busy these days. i will call you instead "

is she trying to say that she doesnt want to see me anymore ? last time, i always said to her the same thing " i call you later " but it never happened.

is it a 'hint' that she doesnt want to talk to me again ?

Mmm... if she said not to call her, and she'd call you instead, it means she's not ready to let you back in her life right now, and that she wants to be in control of things. Since that email worked, she got all your others and chose not to reply until now, and it was brief and to the point.

If you want her to know how sorry you are, the only way you can really do that is by letter or email because she apparently doesn't wish to see or speak with you at the moment. But it should only a sincere apology, without asking anything of her, not to meet, not to give you another chance, not to forgive you or anything. Better yet, I'd give it more time, before you get your feelings all riled up again.

i said in my email " It has been very long since our break up and there is much i want to tell you that I am really sorry for all the things I have done and said to you. I am really sorry for the hurts, tears that I caused to you. I know everything is not the same anymore and there is no body to be blame. I really messed up and i know i have been so ridiculous. I know it is too late and there is nothing I can do to replace all the hut memories, but from the bottom of my heart I want you to know, that you are so special for me and I want you to be happy. You are still the best I ever had."

Thats all i can say.I am terribly sad now. Hoping so bad just to see her and give her a hug or just hear her voice.

she replied " Thanks for your email, I really apprecite that. I had forgiven you long time before and I dont want to remember it anymore."

Reading the reply, i am happy to know that she still reply but on the other hand i am sad. I want her to know that I miss her a lot and I want to see her, just to see her and tell her that she is still the best. Even if i couldnt get her back.

What should i say to her ?

did any guy ever been the same situation like me ?