Sugarkane Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 My uncle is a commitmentphobe and is 50 and has never married or had children [or maybe he is just smart?!]. He brokeup with a woman a couple of years ago. We were all disappointed, she was a really nice woman and we hoped it would work out for him. Then recently she phones him out of the blue. They make small talk and she tells him that she went back home [to Canada] and remarried is happy etc etc. My uncle is still single. Isn't it kind of vindictive to do this? Like telling your ex that you're happy and letting them know that they made a mistake [my uncle should've never let her go]?
TheHurtProcess Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Perhaps she just wanted to offer him that closure that they never had before. Sometimes relationships end without any or much closure at all. Like we've discussed many times in the forum. Sometime exes do come back. But, it's not always to reconcile. Many times it's to patch up any wrong doings so that they can move on without any hard feelings and leave once again on good terms. This time with the closure they so disparately needed.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Tell me about it my ex left without any closure at all. I would love to do this to him, after what the jerkwad did to me.
dark_perfect Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 No way, I wouldn't say it's vindictive. It really depends on what the break up was like. My ex recently split up with me, and I was in a world of despair. I'm looking forward to the future a bit more now, but I'd love to be able to do the same in the future, not to be vindictive, but to let her know that there are no bad feelings over the breakup, and even though it may have been a tough time, everything has worked out. I'd want her to know that I was happy, and hopefully she will be too.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 No way, I wouldn't say it's vindictive. It really depends on what the break up was like. My ex recently split up with me, and I was in a world of despair. I'm looking forward to the future a bit more now, but I'd love to be able to do the same in the future, not to be vindictive, but to let her know that there are no bad feelings over the breakup, and even though it may have been a tough time, everything has worked out. I'd want her to know that I was happy, and hopefully she will be too. Part of me is right there with ya. The other part doesn't want anything to do with her after what she did. Not to be vindictive, but I'd like to turn the tables a bit and give her a taste, just so she can try on my shoes for a minute and feel the pain she had bestowed upon me as well as others in the past. She'll hopefully think twice before treating anyone that way ever again. I'm not just worried about me getting hurt again. I just don't want other people to go through what I had to go through as a result of her psychological issues. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.
Gack Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Perhaps she just wanted to offer him that closure that they never had before. Sometimes relationships end without any or much closure at all. Like we've discussed many times in the forum. Sometime exes do come back. But, it's not always to reconcile. Many times it's to patch up any wrong doings so that they can move on without any hard feelings and leave once again on good terms. This time with the closure they so disparately needed. Ok about the part where they come back to reconcile to patch up wrong doings and leave on good terms. How would you know they are back to do that then leave? What are the signs or things they say if they only want to do this? I'm scared that let say i let them back and all they wanna do is this then leave again. Of course i would question her and make her spit out the truth why she wanna come back to me but what are the signs.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Ok about the part where they come back to reconcile to patch up wrong doings and leave on good terms. How would you know they are back to do that then leave? What are the signs or things they say if they only want to do this? I'm scared that let say i let them back and all they wanna do is this then leave again. Of course i would question her and make her spit out the truth why she wanna come back to me but what are the signs. It happens more that you know. That's why you don't take them back. Like I said, let them go. Because if they can run away once, they will do it again. It's only a matter of time. She's not going to tell you the truth anyways, so the questioning really doesn't matter. Many times they think they know what they want and then a couple days to a week later, here they go with the "I don't know what I want" BS again and then they're off again.
Gack Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 It happens more that you know. That's why you don't take them back. Like I said, let them go. Because if they can run away once, they will do it again. It's only a matter of time. She's not going to tell you the truth anyways, so the questioning really doesn't matter. Many times they think they know what they want and then a couple days to a week later, here they go with the "I don't know what I want" BS again and then they're off again. ok she just initiated contact with me. I did not do anything. She said all this and then she signed out. She told me all the best to me and the new girl and text her when i am leaving this country she will see me off. She said she fine don't worry, i am always remembered in her heart, good night (:. Somewhere along the lines of that. I don't wanna copy and paste because there is the chance she might read this. You never know lol. The thing about leaving the country and the new girl, it all fake to make her jealous and feel that she is losing me. I did that last month to have a reaction out of her. And she took it seriously of course. It lame i know but she wouldn't reply me so i tried everything. I know you all are gonna say ignore her. And it is what i'm doing. But what do you think is her mentality about this? I feel that she still is in the honeymoon period so she wanna be with the guy but she want to do this last thing for me? I find it lame that this is all she can give me right now. It not enough for me when she gave me everything. I'm just gonna heck care it. But i wanna hear the opinions you guys have. Both good and bad side of it please.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 I still find this somewhat vindictive. They weren't friends after the breakup and if you're over it why even bother?
TheHurtProcess Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I still find this somewhat vindictive. They weren't friends after the breakup and if you're over it why even bother? There's a very good chance that you are 100% correct.
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