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dis is argent i need 2 kno wat 2 do!!!


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BlueberryCough

i been wit my BF well husband for 11 yrs n im tired of feeling like he dont love me like he use too...its hard 2 leave him its really hard cuz i love him so much dat i cant live wit out him i feel like if i leave him its gonna hurt me more den him he says he love me but he acts different from we 1stt fell in love n i need a good advise cuz i kno i hav a problem cuz i love him way tooo much n i dont wanna get hurt n my whole life changes for da worse...n i dont hav da guts 2 leave him...i wish i did i wish i can stop lovin him so i wont hurt anymore so anyone plz if u can help plz do....

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i been wit my BF well husband for 11 yrs n im tired of feeling like he dont love me like he use too...its hard 2 leave him its really hard cuz i love him so much dat i cant live wit out him i feel like if i leave him its gonna hurt me more den him he says he love me but he acts different from we 1stt fell in love n i need a good advise cuz i kno i hav a problem cuz i love him way tooo much n i dont wanna get hurt n my whole life changes for da worse...n i dont hav da guts 2 leave him...i wish i did i wish i can stop lovin him so i wont hurt anymore so anyone plz if u can help plz do....

 

Can you translate this into English for us?

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I just had to fix this...

 

From BlueberryCough loosely translated into English.

 

I've been with my Boyfriend well husband for 11years and I'm tired of feeling like he doesn't love me like he used too... It's too hard to leave him, it's really hard! Because I love him so much that I can't live without him. I feel like if I leave him it's going to hurt me more than him. He says he loves me but he acts different from when we 1st fell in love.

I could really do with some good advice because I know I have a problem, because I love him way too much and I don't want to get hurt, and have my whole life change for the worse. I don't have the guts to leave him. I wish I did, I wish I could stop loving him so it didn't hurt anymore. So anyone please if you can help, please do.

 

Ok that should help you a bit. At the very least people will stop popping brain cells trying to read your txt speak.

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Now to answer your question, Have you tried talking to your boyfriend/husband or at the very least councilling? If you love him so much this should be your first port of call.

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TryingtoUnderstand32
I just had to fix this...

 

From BlueberryCough loosely translated into English.

 

I've been with my Boyfriend well husband for 11years and I'm tired of feeling like he doesn't love me like he used too... It's too hard to leave him, it's really hard! Because I love him so much that I can't live without him. I feel like if I leave him it's going to hurt me more than him. He says he loves me but he acts different from when we 1st fell in love.

I could really do with some good advice because I know I have a problem, because I love him way too much and I don't want to get hurt, and have my whole life change for the worse. I don't have the guts to leave him. I wish I did, I wish I could stop loving him so it didn't hurt anymore. So anyone please if you can help, please do.

 

 

Ok that should help you a bit. At the very least people will stop popping brain cells trying to read your txt speak.

 

 

thanks for translating

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optimistgirl

Blueberry, just a bit of advice... in the future, you might not want to use "txt language" on the forum because people will focus on your delivery as oppose to the message.

 

I agree with Lemontang...go get some marital counseling and don't make any decisions before you do.

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BlueberryCough

sorry for the writing im just so use to it... i do talk to him and he makes these promises that he'll show me more attention but he always breaks them then when i try to leave he stops me and its always the same....and even if i did go to counciling he doesnt believe in any of that stuff.i understand that this is his first real relationship but you would think after 11 years he knows what i want...and on top of that its hard to leave him cuz he was my first and i was his and sometimes he can be so sweet but it doesnt last long and then i feel alone again...

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I really miss the pubescent days when it was easy as just envisioning them on the toilet.

 

Personally, I have found the only thing that helps is refocusing. Turning forward to yourself and focusing on your own needs.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this. :(

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BlueberryCough

i know but how do i do that without going through so much pain this is my first marriage i dont know what to do im confused im scared especially to be alone

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OK. Deep breath - here's the thing. It is going to hurt. Trying to get out of it without hurting is like trying to get through life without growing.

 

Have you tried a list of pros and cons? A clear choice?

 

Here are some things that can help get you through the discomfort:

*friends & family (or if you have alienated yourself during this relationship - bad relationships have a way of being all-consuming, try to establish or re-establish connections with people who empower you)

*a good book

*meeting some new people

*exercise (all forms of self-improvement)

 

It's really hard when you're feeling down. Do you believe that you deserve someone with whom you feel comfortable and secure? I do. And you won't find that until you leave this.

 

And, seriously: if you feel that it is too much to handle... you don't want to get out of bed, you want to wallow in negative thoughts despite your best efforts, you've made a choice but can't seem to implement it... please do talk to your family doctor. They may be able to help you through the toughest months with an antidepressant, anti-anxiety, etc. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a last resort, but it can help.

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appetite4destruction

Sometimes its just over or almost over. I recommend not smothering him or letting him know how much you care and love him.

 

Let the reigns go a little. Show him what's going to be gone soon if he doesn't shape up.

 

Let me know how it goes!

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optimistgirl

A marriage takes two people and if he doesn't want to realistically work on it, then that just shows you how much he values your relationship. Pay attention to his actions, not his words. He has gotten use to manipulating you into staying. Be strong. Don't just stay with him because you're afraid of being alone. You deserve to be happy.

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BlueberryCough

well marriage counseling i cant afford i talked to him and i found out that there was this girl he was talking to and i asked him along time ago about her and he lied he said he didnt know who was she and now he admitts he was talking with her but you i have trust issues cause he has lied to me plenty of times and there was this 1 girl but i dont want to talk bout her i want to talk bout the one he hid from me he says they were friends its hard to believe cause she was wayy too pretty and she was a flirty girl and one day she saw me with him and said to him "oh i see kelvin" a girl will only say that if the guy was trying to get with her or was with her or was trying to get with her friend.. i dont know what to do i want him to tell me the truth i told him i wont leave he would just have to gain his trust back but when i ask him was she worth our relationship he says no but why keep her from me..

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