An interesting article on porn

Seriously?

 

An article discussing some men who are distancing themselves emotionally and sexually from their real-life wives and girlfriends because of their reliance on porn, and you guys have turned it into women who have friends with benefits are whores, and most wives hate their husbands anyway?

 

Get back into therapy, guys. This is pathetic.

Aside from the topic, a woman who's getting pounded by several different men is a whore. I'm sorry if that offends you.

Seriously?

 

An article discussing some men who are distancing themselves emotionally and sexually from their real-life wives and girlfriends because of their reliance on porn, and you guys have turned it into women who have friends with benefits are whores, and most wives hate their husbands anyway?

 

Get back into therapy, guys. This is pathetic.

Can you honestly say that most wives feel positively about their husbands?

Aside from the topic, a woman who's getting pounded by several different men is a whore. I'm sorry if that offends you.

T/J (sorry OP but can't let this one go)

Wow........... you call other people judgemental?

Just about everything you say shows zero respect for women.

Do you use the same adjective to describe yourself? Because you give the impression that you are 'pounding' several different women - probably at the same time, given the chance!

Can you honestly say that most wives feel positively about their husbands?

Woggle - It stands to reason that for every woman who feels negatively about her husband, there is a husband who feels the same about his wife.

Good relationships turn bad all the time - it's usually both people who are responsible - not always, but usually...........and, as you're very well aware, there are a few of us on LS who have great relationships and have a huge amount of respect for our partners - male and female.

Woggle - It stands to reason that for every woman who feels negatively about her husband, there is a husband who feels the same about his wife.

 

Good relationships turn bad all the time - it's usually both people who are responsible - not always, but usually...........and, as you're very well aware, there are a few of us on LS who have great relationships and have a huge amount of respect for our partners - male and female.

This is not true. There are plenty of men who completly adore their wives while they couldn't care less. Ask most women married more than ten years if they would do it again and I bet they would say no. Why do you think see many men are devastated when their wives walk out.

This is not true. There are plenty of men who completly adore their wives while they couldn't care less. Ask most women married more than ten years if they would do it again and I bet they would say no. Why do you think see many men are devastated when their wives walk out.

There are plenty of women who completely adore their husbands while they couldn't care less - yes, there really are - and many women who are devasted when their husbands walk out. You're making huge sweeping statements - just like you used to.

I have a huge amount of respect for you, Woggle. When I first came to LS most of what you said was along these lines and I've been heartened to see your attitude changing and growing. You're obviously making an effort and it's a joy to see.

This thread is a huge backward step though. Please don't take what you read on LS as an example of the real world - it's mostly just a representation of the bad things about relationships - the good stuff rarely turns up here.

Men and women are equally to blame for most things that go wrong in relationships - but, come on now, you can't blame women because men like to watch porn!

I try to make a change but I just feel like I am putting blinders on. How many married women do you know that truly are happy with their husbands. The way some women talk about men these days you would think they would be glad to have men looking at porn and leaving them alone.

I try to make a change and then I read how women really feel about us men it makes me just want to throw that hatred right back in their places. Men are criticized if we are players and use women for our gratification but when we truly do care and end up getting hurt we are told we are getting a taste of our own medicine. I am sick of it.

Thoughts about this?

 

http://nymag.com/news/features/70976

My thoughts. Porn isn't bad as long as you use it in moderation. That goes for pretty much everything in life though.

The men in the article are clearly using to the point it is causing problems. The behavior seems on the level of an addict. Why?

My guess is that there is a strong coalescent of problems that drive these guys to porn usage. Primarily its easy, and provides the illusion of sexual variety. Nearly just as important it's pressure free. These guys need to stop, or get help.

In regards to it's effect on women. I don't think it's that big. Romance novels and movies are basically the female version of porn. I think those have had just as much of a damaging effect on relationships and society.

you can always count on Woggle to magically turn any article into a "women are the cause of all my issues"

you can always count on Woggle to magically turn any article into a "women are the cause of all my issues"

How do you know they are not?

How do you know they are not?

Woggle needs to grow up and be a big boy and take some responsibilities for his actions.

Very immature and childlike to blame others for all your issues.

Yes the opposite sex can be the cause or a contribution to some issues one may have but not all of them.

If Woggle would concentrate at least a quarter of the amount of energy he uses on hating women to fix the issues he has with himself then he would be alright.

There is no way I can hate women even a quarter as much as some of them hate me. If there were no more misandrists I would give up my hatred in a heartbeat but as long as misandry is rampant I can't be defenseless. Some things I have read on the internet in the last few days have put it all in perspective.

newsflash sunshine: there will always be misandrists out there, just like there will always be murderers, rapists, etc.

Come back to reality.

Woggle needs to grow up and be a big boy and take some responsibilities for his actions.

Very immature and childlike to blame others for all your issues.

Yes the opposite sex can be the cause or a contribution to some issues one may have but not all of them.

If Woggle would concentrate at least a quarter of the amount of energy he uses on hating women to fix the issues he has with himself then he would be alright.

I think the issue is that Woggle just uses LS for different reasons than you do. I doubt his "issues" are much worse than yours.

pornography poisons the soul. It also poisons the mind by twisting human intimacy and love into a purely carnal act.

Nothing wrong with it being just a carnal act, it's fun, no one is getting hurt.

Not everyone who has sex are in love with each other, with a bunch of candles lit in the room, and the stars being aligned in a particular way.

I got a little bit extreme. I admit that when I am angry I am a misogyny machine but I am just sick of the constant misandry that gets shoved down my throat. By no means are all women like that but it is very rampant. I am sorry for taking it out on all women though.

I got a little bit extreme. I admit that when I am angry I am a misogyny machine but I am just sick of the constant misandry that gets shoved down my throat. By no means are all women like that but it is very rampant. I am sorry for taking it out on all women though.

I think at one point misandry did get shoved down your throat (your Mom, your ex), but these days, I think you actively go looking for it. It's probably just the way you're conditioned from earlier experiences, but just a thought.

Does anyone here really think that if a lonely guy gives up porn, he's going to go find himself a girlfriend the next day? A lot of guys who are addicted to porn simply aren't attractive to the opposite sex. In most cases, porn addiction isn't the cause of a guy being alone, it's the effect.

Not necessarily. I stop watching porn for two days or so if I know I want to pick up a girl. Because if I don't, I usually find other things to do or don't care enough to put an effort...

The men in the article are clearly using to the point it is causing problems. The behavior seems on the level of an addict. Why?

Yup, but the ubiquity of the internet makes moderation hard for many people.

In regards to it's effect on women. I don't think it's that big. Romance novels and movies are basically the female version of porn. I think those have had just as much of a damaging effect on relationships and society.

I'm not sure. I think reading those novels makes lonely women more desperate for a relationship, while watching (too much) porn decreases the level of interest.

Yeah I'll admit, these guys in the article take porn to levels unheard of, at least to me.

T/J (sorry OP but can't let this one go)

 

Wow........... you call other people judgemental?

 

Just about everything you say shows zero respect for women.

 

Do you use the same adjective to describe yourself? Because you give the impression that you are 'pounding' several different women - probably at the same time, given the chance!

I wouldn't even call a loose woman a woman to be honest with you, it'd be along the lines of someone who's immature, has zero respect for themselves, etc.

As for a male who's sleeping with several different women? To me, it's not so bad. Yeah he may be a bit on the loose side but to be honest, it's the nature of the beast. Men place more value in sex than women do, and naturally inclined to sleep around, as the pickings are slim from the get go - at least for a male. It's the same deal with overweight and ugly women, they usually tend to sleep around as they can barely come by some sex as it is.

It's like a homeless man who hordes food when he gets the chance compared to an obese man @ a buffet who just won't stop eating. One is starving, the other is a glutton. Same logic applies to a loose male and a loose woman.

So no, I don't think a man who sleeps around is a whore really, he's just getting it while the gettin's good. A bit on trashy side yes, but far from the whore that a loose woman would be.

I do think that porn is a problem in exactly the way this article talks about. While it may be true that women contribute a little bit to it, I don't think as a man it's useful to worry about that. It's like saying that you would be a good person if only the world wasn't so bad. The mark of a good man is that he is good despite problems and difficulties. I think that a good man does what is right and what is healthy for him whether women are being easy or difficult to deal with. No, a man should not be a doormat or a pushover and accept bad behavior from women. But, he should never use a woman's bad behavior as an excuse to do something wrong himself.

Ask yourself, what would make you respect yourself more? Deciding that women have been bad to you and giving yourself permission to do something that you think may hurt them too? Or, doing what you know is right and not blaming anybody else for your actions?

The article does a good job of pointing out some of the dangers of porn. The problem with it is that like many potential addictions, you don't realize how much of a problem it is until it is too late to easily stop. By the time the men in the article realized the effects that porn had on them, they could not easily undo those effects. I think the article is spot on in the way it describes men having a “relationship” with porn the way they would have a relationship with a woman. Our brains are set up to have relationships, but when we look at porn a lot, we can basically use the same neural pathways to bond with porn rather than a woman. Then even if a man decides it is harmful and he wants to stop, he basically has to “break up” with porn. Just as when breaking up with a real person, the emotional deprivation is difficult and requires a long time to get over, maybe years. It is made worse in the case of porn because it's so difficult to go “no contact”.

Scott

I think at one point misandry did get shoved down your throat (your Mom, your ex), but these days, I think you actively go looking for it. It's probably just the way you're conditioned from earlier experiences, but just a thought.

I think he invents it. His mom is whacked for sure. But otherwise his claims are generally vague. There are rarely specifics. You get the impression he lives in a world of vicious amazons. But he seems to be the only guy there.

You can take any of his posts and swap man for woman or husband for wife and it's just as likely to be true.

What Woggle portrays as gender wars is really just him expressing his own personal terror. He gives women way too much credit and men almost none at all. In Woggle's world men are meek and helpless and women are strong and ruthless. It's a bit ironic to think how little respect he has for men. While women are like malevolent gods.

Here's my personal experience: I'm a horny dude and I love sex. I was unfortunate to have a not so giving or sexually interested girlfriend for the majority of my time in college. She often would just not put out on a regular basis and would at times make me feel like a creep for wanting to have sex with her. I was blind with love yet extremely horny in my prime sex age so I turned to porn. I was also single for 4 straight years after college until recently, and the random hookups and FWB's weren't often enough to fill my needs during those 4 years, so again I had porn.

Now with my gf, it's taking me time but I'm having trouble orgasming when she gives me head (and I don't think she could do it any better, she's fantastic), but during sex I cannot orgasm while she's on top and it either takes work or thoughts of other things (porn) to get off in other positions. I have never had to fake an orgasm (yet), and I hope I never have to.

I'm going to try and kick porn for a while but it's such a habit and having a new gf has increased my sex drive quite a bit, so when she's not around some nights then it's to the laptop. Not sure what else I can do at this point.

I wouldn't even call a loose woman a woman to be honest with you, it'd be along the lines of someone who's immature, has zero respect for themselves, etc.

Thanks for providing a brilliant example of misogyny on a misandrist thread.

I'm sorry, but posting things like this make you look like you probably really are not a man. Just someone who is immature, etc. In light of the fact that you are willing to have sex with those very women.

It's the same deal with overweight and ugly women, they usually tend to sleep around as they can barely come by some sex as it is.

That is truly an ignorant, offensive, untrue and out of line statement.

So no, I don't think a man who sleeps around is a whore really, he's just getting it while the gettin's good. A bit on trashy side yes, but far from the whore that a loose woman would be.

No, not far. The same. You evidently can't understand this, and from the tone of your posts, you probably won't ever.