Christmas... our Catholic families... etc

So, I feel like I need to give some background info before asking this seemingly simple question...

My whole story is here in passed threads, if anyone really wants to do some digging, have at it.

I haven't been seeing this girl for very long, but I've known her for over ten years, for a little more then five years we've been good friends and lived in the same house.

She was with my good friend for a long time... that ended when he had a nervous breakdown and ended the relationship and moved out. I had feelings for her for a long time... and things started up between us this passed Halloween.

So anyway... My whole family knows her... in the passed she's been to my Mom's house on Thanksgiving (a few times...) and they all really want me to bring her over on Christmas. I'm wondering if it's alright to do this or not?

The reasons I'm questioning it are simple... Now that my relationship with her has changed, so has the whole dynamic. My family is the stereotypical Polish Catholic family. And I think that if I bring her some of them (mainly my Grandma and a few of my aunts) might make her feel awkword with questions about where things are going for us, etc. In otherwise they'll start asking if there are any plans for marriage. My grandma is from a different generation and a different culture (being actually from Poland) and so her attitude and priorities are different. She has been on me for years about how I need to get married and start having kids. It's like she thinks there's nothing more important then making babies.

If this girl was someone I just met and started dating, this would be an obvious no. It would be too soon. But I've known her so long, and she's known my family for so long, so I'm considering it. What do you all think... is it a mistake?

Is this the girl you had a threesome with, with her ex, who was your best friend, who you swooped in and stole when he was in the hospital?

If so, I think religion need not apply.

I don't see why it should prevent you from doing anything...

Is this the girl you had a threesome with, with her ex, who was your best friend, who you swooped in and stole when he was in the hospital?

 

If so, I think religion need not apply.

Yea, that'd be the one.

And I didn't steal her. He left her.

I don't see why it should prevent you from doing anything...

By 'it' do you mean the things my Aunts and my Grandma might say to her?

Do you actually expect anything different from someone that is religious?

 

Most religious people are total hypocrites.

 

Most of them dont believe in/care about god either, but they dont have the balls to admit it. So they just go through the motions, and show their face at the important times.

Exactly...

My whole family is "Catholic." but, with the exception of my Grandma and my two older aunts, none of us are true practicing Catholics. My sister and I both admit we aren't. I'm an Agnostic if it matters... My parents admit they aren't in the right company, but they aren't so open about it.

My parents know my views on God and the Church... my Grandma doesn't. To tell her would devastate her, and I won't do that.

(On a completely random side note... it feels so weird writing this and referring to her as "Grandma." That isn't what I grew up calling her. I've always called her Babcia.)

One of the best experiences I ever had was being home on xmas break from school. I went to a party with my cousin who I didnt hang out with much. We went to a house party where everyone was confined to the basement. I went up stairs to the refrigerator to get something to drink and a gorgeous young man I had kinda made eyes with followed me up. He closed the refrig door and kissed me hard. We ended up on the couch next to the christmas tree buck naked 10 minutes into meeeting each other. Nobody came up stairs and the parents ( he knew) never woke up. Great sex, great warm stranger on a cold december night.

Great story, but how does that answer my question?

What is it with all these off key answers?

I really sometimes wonder if some people are on crack or something.

If by "some people" you mean me, nah, I'm sober.

By 'it' do you mean the things my Aunts and my Grandma might say to her?

Precisely. I was raised Catholic and don't believe in any of that anymore, but I understand about being sensitive to older generations who would simply be devastated/never understand. Still, you can't let it restrict you to this degree. They get over it when you date/marry outside. Even if they give you a very hard time up front, they will respect your decision making/deal with it as long as they love you.

And if they don't, then their religion is clearly worthless, isn't it?

Precisely. I was raised Catholic and don't believe in any of that anymore, but I understand about being sensitive to older generations who would simply be devastated/never understand. Still, you can't let it restrict you to this degree. They get over it when you date/marry outside. Even if they give you a very hard time up front, they will respect your decision making/deal with it as long as they love you.

 

And if they don't, then their religion is clearly worthless, isn't it?

Well, she was raised Catholic too, but no longer practices. Her family is a lot like mine except they are Irish.

My whole family loves her. I just think they might make her feel pressured. She just came out of a five year relationship, we are taking things really slow. My grandma asking her "Hey, so when are you going to marry him and give me some great grandbabies?" might be a little awkward...

But you are right... I can't let this restrict what I do. If that is going to happen then it will happen, even if not now. So why try to avoid it. SHe knows how my family is, she'll understand.

If by "some people" you mean me, nah, I'm sober.

No. I meant in response to Lisalee's reply.

I think you should take her and just put up with Polish Grandma. I mean they want you to bring her! How much more welcoming is that. Just forewarn your family that you guys are taking it slowly and see where it is going, and warn your gf that it may be awkward. She may be up to handling it.

 

Your gf should probably bring a bottle of wine, too, or some cider that would be nice.

It's funny you suggested that, she told me she was going to take a 12 pack of Woodchuck. Woodchuck is hard Cider, my parents love it.

hey,

I think you should warn her to expect awkard questions, she probably knows to expect the awkard questions anyway. Just ask granny to not switch into interrogation mode about your future plans and try deflecting with lots of woodchuck and/or vodka!