Ever didn't "feel it" even with a physically...

...attractive person?

ANd it wasn't because they were a *itch or a jerk or even stupid...(yes, I hear it all the time, "Yeah he/she was hot.....but as soon as they opened their mouth, it was over)

But, have you never felt it with a person that was very attractive physically.....but they were nice, intelligent, and seemed great to have a conversation with...but for some reason....they just didn't "do it" for you?

Maybe it was because you two didn't have anything in common? or something.

Like there was this one woman I kind of liked...very pretty smile, nice curves, looked great in a bikini...and she was a sweetheart, she had great friends.....and for some reason, I guess she didn't do it for me...and couple of other guys I talked to about her..that knew her...said, they didn' t "Do much" for her.

It's weird , you know?

I find that kind of common with me. I think it is odd, maybe I am ultra-critical or something. With the average person I just think "hey you are nice/not nice/blah whatever." Then with an attractive person I look to see where the flaw is and my mind dismisses them as "greater."

I find that kind of common with me. I think it is odd, maybe I am ultra-critical or something. With the average person I just think "hey you are nice/not nice/blah whatever." Then with an attractive person I look to see where the flaw is and my mind dismisses them as "greater."

For example a lot of my friends liked Sawyer on Lost. He had this weird wrinkle when he frowned, just annoyed me. There was this guy in the Strat department I used to work in who was very tall and had some classic features but I thought "blah his face is a bit too narrow."

This happens to me every now and then. I'll meet a woman who I objectively think is beautiful, but I just don't feel any sexual attraction for her. I look at her and think mentally that she is lovely, but then I think about kissing her or sleeping with her and it kind of makes me queasy. I equate it with thinking of her as a sister; I don't want to kiss her any more than I would my sister.

It's completely different than being picky, or just having different taste than other men, because I do think she's beautiful, just not screwable. My purely speculative guess is that it must be some sort of chemical thing -- maybe her hormones or pheromones or whatever are too similar to mine.

Someone can be attractive, smart, a nice person, but still somewhat bland and uninteresting. I like people who are interesting, who have something unique about them; someone who is an individual. I have known guys who were intelligent, handsome, and generally lovely, but they were just so bland and predictable that I wasn't interested in a relationship with them.

I also think there's a level of comfort....typically, it's when I'm joking around...and BASED on that person's reaction to my jokes, they either.

1. Think it's funny or actually GETS what I mean or gets my joke.

2. Come back with something as equally as funny.

It's like only get along with a certain NICHE crowd (male or female) and I tend to linger with them naturally.

It's usually some joke or even non-joke that's obscure that most people don't "get", but when I find a woman that "gets me" in general....and "gets' my brand of humor, is where I become attracted.

I think it might have to do with me watching a lot of TV, I remember certain stupid movie quotes or references and relay that to the current situation.

Example, let's see if I'm out with a lot of friends on a charter fishing boat....and I catch the smallest fish of the group, and I say, "Hey, I think we need a BIGGER boat, eh?" (from JAWS)

Or not necessarily a fictional movie, could be some recent current event situation.

And one person laughs out of the entire group laughs, and if it's a hot chick that laughed, well, things might work out. LOL.

(I know that's a bad example, but....just try to think of another movie quote than that one, and you might get what I mean)

There was this one woman I met online, I swear we "got" each other online, on the phone and in person, and even afterwards....then, for whatever reason, she decided to loose touch with me (she was a POF date I actually missed) it was kind of magical.

After that, I have been using that as a basis of comparison. (but that's another post entirely, was kind of hurt on that one...maybe it was because we moved to fast? Because we actually kissed on the first date, it was great....and guess I found myself making a big deal out of a FIRST date....but I thought we really clicked....she even called me to see if I got home alright....then when I asked her out again....she sounded like "just any" woman that would blow me off.

(Okay just ignore all that..that's an entirely diff post...lol...I'm over that one....) But you get what I mean?

Someone can be attractive, smart, a nice person, but still somewhat bland and uninteresting. I like people who are interesting, who have something unique about them; someone who is an individual. I have known guys who were intelligent, handsome, and generally lovely, but they were just so bland and predictable that I wasn't interested in a relationship with them.

For example a lot of my friends liked Sawyer on Lost. He had this weird wrinkle when he frowned, just annoyed me. There was this guy in the Strat department I used to work in who was very tall and had some classic features but I thought "blah his face is a bit too narrow."

Actually, I have a face like that. lol

Actually, I have a face like that. lol

One guy was a security guard in the mall I worked at when I was younger, the other girls at the kiosk would go nuts for him, I just thought his head was oddly small for his frame.

Yet I look at my chubby husband and I am just like, "mmm wow" weird

Sometimes I wonder if pheremones have something to do with it. I remember I liked this one guy and after we started dating, I noticed he had a smell I didn't like. I swear to you he smelled perfectly fine before we were dating and hanging out. And he said the same thing (he didn't admit he didn't like it which was nice of him). I swear this wasn't a hygiene thing at all- we were both clean graduate students. We ended up breaking up quickly for no reason, except there was no chemistry.

Maybe we had anti-chemistry?

This is one of those unsolved mysteries of my dating past that I've always wondered about.

There's really no great mystery here - it's sexual chemistry ie pheromones. Most of the time we're not even aware of them but they're there anyway and they pretty much determine who we find attractive and who turns us off.

It's natures way of determining that any offspring we have are healthy. We are attracted more to people who have a different immune system which ensures maximum chance of our children being healthy.

Obviously there are also many other factors involved, such as looks and personality, but you can't fight chemistry. That's why you can't create attraction where there is none. If you don't find someone sexually attractive you never will.

Yeah, I mean I see tons of hot women all time, but didn't know it was possible not to be attracted to them (okay that does sounds silly) lol

What stinks is, let's say I do have an incredible amount of FULL attraction to them....is that it's hardly ever mutual that's what drives ME batty. lol

There's really no great mystery here - it's sexual chemistry ie pheromones. Most of the time we're not even aware of them but they're there anyway and they pretty much determine who we find attractive and who turns us off.

 

It's natures way of determining that any offspring we have are healthy. We are attracted more to people who have a different immune system which ensures maximum chance of our children being healthy.

 

Obviously there are also many other factors involved, such as looks and personality, but you can't fight chemistry. That's why you can't create attraction where there is none. If you don't find someone sexually attractive you never will.