How do I find out if he's interested?

I'm learning to mountain bike as I am training to ride to everest base camp, the guy who is teaching me and my friends to ride better is pretty fantastic.

I really need his help for the next year (he's done the trip before) and has over time offered to help me: buy a suitable bike, write a training program, learn how to fix my bike, pack... pretty much hold my hand till the day I leave.

I've never needed a guy so much in my life (which is really attractive). But the more time we spend together, the more I like him, even though he is 40 and I'm 29.

I just don't know whether he is being really helpful because he's a cool guy doing his job and a bit more, or he is interested in me. Any way to find out?

Typical female, you always want to know if the guy is interested in you first, instead of you being the one to take a chance on rejection.

Why dont you grow up and ask him out ?

Millions of women let good guys slip right by because they don't have the efn maturity to approach him.

And you wonder why guys bitch about girls playing games

Normally I would just ask him out, but with the dynamic, him teaching me - me paying him. And the fact that I really need him for the next YEAR, I am just concerned about totally messing it up and making it really awkward/potentially losing him completely.

Equally, it doesn't make it a great scenario for him to ask me out either. Totally understand that, which is why I am here... I don't want to miss out on something with him if I have a chance.

I don't want to play games, I want him, I just have more to lose than people usually do when they take a chance on asking someone out.

Typical female, you always want to know if the guy is interested in you first, instead of you being the one to take a chance on rejection.

 

Women like you absolutely piss me off. Your whole world revolves around games.

 

Why dont you grow up and ask him out ?

 

Millions of women let good guys slip right by because they dont have the efn maturity to approach him.

 

And you wonder why guys bitch about girls playing games

 

Fn wake up

geez...bitter much ?

OP - bit of friendly flirting never hurts, and if he flirts back and asks you out, then you have your answer

if you feel like getting the ball rolling, perhaps casually suggesting going out for drinks together with friends and see if he joins in. never hurts to try, and good luck !

casually suggesting going out for drinks together with friends and see if he joins in

So if he goes out and has drinks with her then what ?

Then she'll post another question, He went out to have drinks with me and my friends, does he like me ?

You people are so pointless in your indirect methods !

Just because he hangs out with her and her friends in a social setting doesnt tell her anything more than before they went out.

And anyways, the OP practically talked herself out of dating the guy in her reply with many valid points why it's a bad idea. So what the hell was the reasoning of her asking in the first place when she answered her own question ?

cheers Runner, guess that's what I'll have to do.

Angry bitter guy, yes clearly logically I shouldn't date this guy for the next year. I understand that but it turns out I really like him, can't help myself, logic be damned.

So once again, why are you here posting if you have already made up your mind regardless ?

yours truly Angry Bitter Guy

I would have thought why I was posting here was the same reason most people do, to get other peoples opinions/feedback/suggestions on how to approach a situation in the best possible way.

Usually I'd just ask him out. I think in this scenario, it's not the best approach since I really don't know if he's interested or just a fantastic guy.

Seems that runners advice is pretty reasonable. Yes I could have thought of it myself, but again that whole feedback/suggestions thing, that's pretty helpful and reassuring.

So did you just get dumped bitter guy?

you stated how gaga you are over him and logic wont help you.

So THATS why I questioned why even come here to ask for advice if you say your gaga-ness over-rules logic ?

I think you already have your mind made up and are looking for any little slice of reason from someone on this forumn to give you a nudge in the direction you already want to pursue.

No I've been single for 2 yrs. So now you will either say "well no wonder your single, as bitter as you are " or "maybe you need laid"

Typical female, you always want to know if the guy is interested in you first, instead of you being the one to take a chance on rejection.

 

Women like you absolutely piss me off. Your whole world revolves around games.

 

Why dont you grow up and ask him out ?

 

Millions of women let good guys slip right by because they dont have the efn maturity to approach him.

 

And you wonder why guys bitch about girls playing games

 

Fn wake up

Perhaps you should take your own avatar's advice...

Serenity now , Insanity later

I'm not really sure if you actually have read my posts in this thread... I know exactly what I want. This is not a thread about do I like him or not. I like him and I want him. The thread is about whether there is any way to tell if he likes me? and also any suggestions on what to do?

I am very gaga over him, as you put it. Over time I have come to realise, that this is not a frame of mind where I make my best decisions. Of course my friends all think "we'd be great together" and all that sort of stuff people like to tell you when they want something to happen. I prefer advice from less invested people.

But honestly, he is a super cool guy, and while he is being very helpful and lovely and we have great banter - I think if I was a guy who he got on with he'd help me out just as much.

There are many reasons why people are single for 2 years, knowing nothing about you or your situation I wouldn't be so arrogant to think I know why you are single or how to change that. But hey I hope whatever has pissed you off today is just fleeting.

I'm not really sure if you actually have read my posts in this thread... I know exactly what I want. This is not a thread about do I like him or not. I like him and I want him. The thread is about whether there is any way to tell if he likes me? and also any suggestions on what to do?

seems like a perfectly harmless thread to me, and if some takes offence to it, well, can't make everyone happy now can you ?

anyway, back on topic.. OP - you might want to take note if you catch him looking at you for just that little bit longer than how people normally look at each other, if you know what i mean. when speaking with a girl i'm attracted to, i find myself staring at her for a nanosecond longer than i normally would anyone else - whether i realise it or not. it's a dead give away, at least as far as i'm concerned

anyway, back on topic.. OP - you might want to take note if you catch him looking at you for just that little bit longer than how people normally look at each other, if you know what i mean. when speaking with a girl i'm attracted to, i find myself staring at her for a nanosecond longer than i normally would anyone else - whether i realise it or not. it's a dead give away, at least as far as i'm concerned

I definitely do this, too. If I That extra second glance means everything.

But then again, I would also proceed with caution using this advice, since I also tend to stare for a little bit longer when I think your hair is made up really weird, you just made a really loud sound, or you smell funny. If none of the above is true, though, I'm probably attracted to you.

But then again, I would also proceed with caution using this advice, since I also tend to stare for a little bit longer when I think your hair is made up really weird, you just made a really loud sound, or you smell funny. If none of the above is true, though, I'm probably attracted to you.

yep it's all about context

Yeah who ever knew this thread could make someone so angry

thanks you two, will try and work out if he looks at me a bit longer than the others.

Although given the context, I may have just fallen in a pile of mud, or hit a tree or something equally retarded, which may make this analysis impossible (yes, I'm not the best technical mountain biker in the world, but it's just so much fun!).

I am having an operation in a month so won't be riding for a while with him, I just realised that is probably a good time to work out if he's keen. I mean if I hear from him much over my recovery then it's probably a pretty good thing right

Hello,

kassy i really liked your dating stories and thanks for sharing this information to me and i hope more that type in future.

Thanks !

Thanks coola, not sure it's much of a dating story.... more like a not dating story

Personally, I hope that in the future anything I post involves me getting a lot of loving with the rather gorgeous mountain biking teacher .

Dreams are free, right??

It's more likely however that you will get your wish and I'll be back writing inane rubbish about my next crush soon, after this scenario all goes belly up.

He, he.

He is working his azz off to help you and you just stare on his azz thinking wedding instead of Everest

Maybe he is not that into you....in that case heavy signs of interest from you, being extremely cool, emotionally stable - no psycho games, fun and sexy...might send him to to "in to you enough".

If he is the shy one. Don't even bother with him. Believe me, when man is shy...he is not a man but still a boy.

haha yeah to be fair, I'm not thinking wedding while he's working his ass off for me, rather how nice his ass would look without his clothes on

As for what I need to do to try and win him over, I think I could probably do them all - except maybe the sexy part... really not sure I'm looking my sexiest when putting along on my bike, and definately not when falling off my bike

I think if he knew I was interested, and he was also game, then he'd be fine about asking me out. I do think however he wouldn't want to get it wrong and be seen as the pervert who hits on his students, and he knows how much I need him too.

So I think I'd have to make it very clear.... which from reading LS seems like a near impossible feat - guys don't understand subtle right?

Oh well guess I better up my flirting

haha yeah to be fair, I'm not thinking wedding while he's working his ass off for me, rather how nice his ass would look without his clothes on

 

As for what I need to do to try and win him over, I think I could probably do them all - except maybe the sexy part... really not sure I'm looking my sexiest when putting along on my bike, and definately not when falling off my bike

Are you kidding? Hot and sweaty...very sexy. And lying down all defenseless...my oh my...you don't even know.

I think if he knew I was interested, and he was also game, then he'd be fine about asking me out. I do think however he wouldn't want to get it wrong and be seen as the pervert who hits on his students, and he knows how much I need him too.

 

So I think I'd have to make it very clear.... which from reading LS seems like a near impossible feat - guys don't understand subtle right?

 

Oh well guess I better up my flirting

That is for sure. But remember the toughest ones need you to walk naked to their bedroom...Have you seen some Bond movies lately? It takes balls(...I mean boobs or ovaries or whatever) to do that. If he refuses you...he's ****ing gay or something.

Well I had no idea that hot, sweaty and muddy could be considered sexy if you are a chick... but hey I'm not complaining!

One of my best guy mates always says the best way to let a guy know you like him is to turn up naked on his doorstep with beer haha

Seems you have a similar view. I haven't as yet tested the theory, but maybe one day it would be worth it just for a laugh. But yeah how nerve racking would that be!

Obviously you just want the other posters on here to fuel the dreamy state of mind you are in.

You keep dodging my questions. You asked "how do I find out if he's interested ? "

Now without beating around the bush,

WHY dont you just ask him ?

WHY prolong the mystery ?

What you are doing is exactly what guys hate, the way women mull over things for weeks contemplating every possible angle to try to found out an answer instead of being direct with someone.

WHY cant women be direct ? PLEASE answer that question too.

OK I'm not really sure what part of this scenario offfends you so much.

I think I've explained the situation, it's potential for disaster if he isn't interested. He isn't some guy I met for 5 minutes and thought hey he's kinda cute, I'd like to see him again.

To be honest direct isn't always best.

I think we aren't going to ever see eye to eye on my current little puny dilema, so how about we just agree to disagree. The other guys have given me some useful suggestions, and I'm going to give it all a try and see how things go. If you have a problem with that... quite frankly I don't really care

How long are you willing to go on trying to determine if hes interested or not ?