Do you really care how many partners a woman has been with?

i have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to past partners

But if you want a serious relationship, you have a right to know. If someone has been with 50+ guys, it shows she has no self control, as for women, getting laid only involves having a pulse, whereas for a guy, it requires skill and is actually an accomplishment. We don't reward people who are 500 lbs because they can eat a gallon of ice cream a night, we reward the people who do not.

Here's the way I see it:

 

There are a LOT of men out there having a LOT of sex. Unless they are having it with each other, then there are a LOT of women doing the same thing. Nobody is perfect. I care more about:

 

1. Is she disease free?

2. Is she capable of being monogamous?

 

If she meets those two criteria, then her past doesn't matter to me. It's the present and future that matters.

I agree with this to a point or at least I want to agree.

But it's been my experience that women.. or should I say people... with a lot of previous partners are often a lot quicker to jump the gun and find the greener grass when the going gets a little rough in a relationship.

If someone has been with 50+ guys, it shows she has no self control,...

no it show that she likes to have sexual relations with different dudes and is probably pretty open-minded in other areas of her life.

If someone has been with 50+ guys, it shows she has no self control,...

no it show that she likes to have sexual relations with different dudes and is probably pretty open-minded in other areas of her life.

Excellent illustration of the difference between a self-proclaimed betamanlet and alphamale. The former is insecure and blames his anxieties on her lack of self control. The latter has no such fears to soothe with blame and judgment.

I haven't even had that many partners (less than 10), but as I mature, I realize the number is just not that big a deal.

If a man is looking for a quick fling then the number does not matter but if he wants a woman that can be faithful the submissive woman with little sexual experience is a better bet.

I know a twenty-five year old man that has had over 120 sex partners. He is physically attractive, but when he disclosed this information, I wondered if he had ever gotten an STD. I am not experienced. I've had one partner. If I ever have another partner, it will be the man I marry. I don't care how many sex partners he has had as long as none of them were male, he doesn't have a disease, and he can be trusted.

I've seen this alot....It's yet another double standard: Men can sleep with as many women as they want, while women who do that are considered easy. I think it's a load of bull.

 

I've encountered my share of men that look down on women having many partners..I just brush it off...After all, they bed whomever they can, whenever they can. For whatever assinine reasons, women can't do that...

 

I think it has a little to do with women becoming more in touch with their sexuality....And I think it puts people off. Men are used to being the dominant sex in society, especially in the bedroom, and perhaps the idea of a woman that knows what she wants sexually freaks them out...

It's got nothing to do with being considered easy or with women "getting in touch with their sexuality". In fact, I've never heard of anyone rejecting a woman because she was too in touch with her sexuality. What a bizarre thing to say.

Here's why some men dislike women who have been around the block too many times. In my observation, girls who sleep around a lot don't sleep with just anybody. Their short-term flings are inevitably with guys who are out of their league for the purpose of long-term relationships. So they have their fun with the typical hot guys who have zero interest in anything more serious with them. At the same time, the typical 'average' guy is getting blue balls (as evidenced by the multitude of posts from frustrated men on these forum) because he's too short, or too bald, too unhip, too middle class, or too whatever.

At some point, the fun loving gal decides that she wants to get married and have kids and reluctantly realizes that she will have to settle down for an 'average guy'. And this average guy, who is now 30+, is all of a sudden a much hotter commodity than he was in his 20s. He is out of college, established in life, and is suddenly in demand with women whose biological clock has hit the eleventh hour. But all these years of rejection and frustration have made him resentful. And now that he has the upper hand hand in the dating world, it's not surprising that he is biased against women who have been sleeping around with the 'cool' guys while avoiding men like him.

^ A smart man (or woman) uses the advantages that nature throws him. An unintelligent man sits around pouting about the way it is.

Both women and men make very different dating and mating choices when they're looking to have fun versus settle down. Once that maturity shift occurs, that's when nice stable guys and sweet girls next door get the upper hand in the mating world.

^ A smart man (or woman) uses the advantages that nature throws him. An unintelligent man sits around pouting about the way it is.

 

Both women and men make very different dating and mating choices when they're looking to have fun versus settle down. Once that maturity shift occurs, that's when nice stable guys and sweet girls next door get the upper hand in the mating world.

I am sorry but no self respecting man wants to be what a woman settles for when reality hits her and she realizes she can't tame the wild beat and make him commit and if she did she would probably fall out of love anyway. My advice to men is that if they didn't want you then tell them to take a hike now. The best feeling in the world for a former nice guy turned attractive prospect is using this new-found power to your advantage. I love my wife but I wish I would have spent more time as a player playing with the women who used to reject me.

Both women and men make very different dating and mating choices when they're looking to have fun versus settle down. Once that maturity shift occurs, that's when nice stable guys and sweet girls next door get the upper hand in the mating world.

Nice guys never get the upper hand in the dating world. It's just that at some point, women realize that there's not enough bad boys for woman in this world, even if these bad boys wanted to settle down.

As for the 'sweet girl next door', she is never at a disadvantage in the dating world to begin with. Unlike women, men don't reject potential mates for being too nice.

Nice guys get their revenge when they stop being nice. That is where I am right now. I know a few guys that used to be nerds when they were younger and then blossomed into good looking men and they love playing women. The greatest pleasure in the world for me was when I had a maneater that would have spit in my face a few years before in tears because I would not commit to her.

I agree with this to a point or at least I want to agree.

 

But it's been my experience that women.. or should I say people... with a lot of previous partners are often a lot quicker to jump the gun and find the greener grass when the going gets a little rough in a relationship.

Perhaps, but I don't really see the correlation. Some people have a hard time finding the right person.

We all have one thing in common. When we meet that person that knocks our socks off, that is the only person we can think of....

...and the only person we want to be with.

Our past experiences be d*mned!

Nice guys never get the upper hand in the dating world. It's just that at some point, women realize that there's not enough bad boys for woman in this world, even if these bad boys wanted to settle down.

 

As for the 'sweet girl next door', she is never at a disadvantage in the dating world to begin with. Unlike women, men don't reject potential mates for being too nice.

Hmmm I've dumped someone for being too nice.

I don't want a mother. I want a partner, lover, friend, confident and wife.

Not a mom. Most really "nice" girls are too motherly and that's a total turn off.

Yes I do care.... At my age though I have to expect they have been with a few guys and maybe even married once, but if she was with 5+ guys, been married 3 times...ummmm.. I'd probably pass.

Hmmm I've dumped someone for being too nice.

 

I don't want a mother. I want a partner, lover, friend, confident and wife.

 

Not a mom. Most really "nice" girls are too motherly and that's a total turn off.

'Motherly' and 'nice' are totally different concepts. You don't like motherly women because they are overbearing, possessive and controlling.

You don't like motherly women because they are overbearing, possessive and controlling.

And they have an overwhelming urge to make sure you put powder on your bum before bedtime......:lmao:

'Motherly' and 'nice' are totally different concepts. You don't like motherly women because they are overbearing, possessive and controlling.

No, I know why I didn't like her motherly behavior. It was that she kept trying to "do" everything for me to make me happy. My mom wasn't even that motherly (and she was a great mom).

I don't put up with any type of overbearing, possessive or controlling behavior. They either come correct or they get booted to the curb.

And they have an overwhelming urge to make sure you put powder on your bum before bedtime......:lmao:

Everyone needs their butt powdered at least once in a lifetime :lmao:

Umm I've been with quite a few men since I started having sex two years ago. I've never told any guy the number of guys I've been with except my first real boyfriend who also happened to be my first. After that I kept it to myself. My ex got close to finding out my number, but never figured it out. He knows I've bedded a few men in my life but like I told him, either he can accept it or move on. No one is holding a gun to his head.

And I don't see why it would be a big deal. Everyone is entitled to go through a crazy phase in their life. Even women.

I truly wonder if AGE is being taken into consideration at all in some of these responses; there are guys making blanket statements that they would never want a woman who has had more than 5 partners. But what if that woman has been sexually active for 25 years or more?

It is no secret that I have had over 100 partners, However, I have NEVER EVER cheated on or lied to any one of my LTR (the longest being 12 years).

There are these assumptions that "promiscuous women" are cheaters or have had to had some guys on the side. Not true at all.

There is nothing I would like more than to find that one person with whom I could share the rest of my life, making him the very last person I would ever have sex with. But until that happens, I am not going to deprive myself of having intimate relations and if I have to go through a few mediocre attempts to find someone decent, than so be it.

Believe me, I would prefer if my NSA partner was even potential relationship material. And when/if someone who is relationship material shows up, the first thing I will offer him is fidelity and honesty.

But if I stumble across a guy who sees me as being someone worth growing old with and discounts me for having had more than four lovers in 25+ years, than that is a close-minded individual not worthy of my devotion.

It matters to me.

I don't understand why people think this is any different than any other preference. Height, weight, race, education, etc.

This particular double standard is a myth or at the very least almost completely faded out. I don't even know why this topic comes up in relationships these days in the U.S. as most people have partners into the double digits, and after the double digit point, it just seems there's not much difference between 15 and 55.

I never ask, and just assume most women I date have had many more partners than I have.

i went out with a girl who had worked for an escort service at one point. I fell hard for her and she dumped me. i guess someome's past really DOES mean something

Nice guys never get the upper hand in the dating world. It's just that at some point, women realize that there's not enough bad boys for woman in this world, even if these bad boys wanted to settle down.

 

As for the 'sweet girl next door', she is never at a disadvantage in the dating world to begin with. Unlike women, men don't reject potential mates for being too nice.

BRAVO! Excellent point.

i went out with a girl who had worked for an escort service at one point. I fell hard for her and she dumped me. i guess someome's past really DOES mean something

low self esteem women make for bad relationships because they want the approval of everyone, hence they will quickly move on to get the approval of someone else.