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Revamp my online profile.


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Posted (edited)

Ok old profile:

 

Title : If your worth it, ill make you know it.

 

Essay: I'm a very outgoing person. I'm always up to try something new and I’m constantly looking for excitement and challenges. Although I do enjoy a relaxing evening at home. I’m not much into the scene or clubs while I do enjoy going and enjoy dancing I mainly like outdoor activities. I’m a very caring and compassionate person and when I like someone I like to show it and be straight forward. I’m looking to meet someone for dating and a romantic relationship. I enjoy jetsking. I also love Martial arts. I enjoy dancing and love anything from ballroom dancing to salsa. I enjoy going to museums and viewing art and enjoy performing arts as well. I like cooking as its a part of a healthy diet and a lot of fun too. My goal in life is to be a pilot. I hold a commercial license and I'm currently working on my flight instructor certification so I can start my aviation career. I received an AS degree in professional aviation and a BS degree in environmental science. My dream is to be a pilot for the excitement, travel and prestige. I enjoy listening to the radio and love the randomness of it. Music I enjoy are alternative, classic rock, r& b, techno and jazz.

 

So, if you are looking for someone who values a healthy body and mind, someone who loves to go out and have an adventurous time, travel, or just kick back and relax and talk, I’m that guy.

 

(I know its intimidating)

 

New Idea:

 

Title : If your worth it, ill make you know it. (I like this for a few reasons, I make the reader think am I worth it? It also make them think how would be prove it to me? So it kinda of a challenge)

New Essay:

 

Hi my name is (name). I'm a very outgoing individual who is also very relaxed. I enjoy anything from going out on the town to an exhilarating outdoor adventure. Yet at the same rate I enjoy having a romantic and quiet evening at home. My aspiration in life is to become a professional pilot and I am currently working on my flight instructor rating.

 

I am looking for a partner in crime. Someone who I can share my adventures with and have a great time doing so. I would love to have a partner who enjoys going to the gym with me and working out as a couple. I'd like to meet someone who isn't afraid to try new adventurous activities, physical or not. She should not be timid nor afraid to speak up. I'd like to find someone who finds my personality fun and just finds me funny, which shouldn't be to hard for me because people are always laughing with me. Life is always lively around me.

 

So, if you are a girl who isn't afraid of a fast paced adventurous lifestyle and isn't afraid to express their emotions without fear of being looked at as desperate the I'm your man.

 

Profile photo is going to be the airplane or jet ski.

Edited by Lost-n-confused
Posted

I hate hate hate "If you're worth it I'll make you know it".

 

I think it sounds like they shouldn't bother contacting you because if you think they are worth it you'll tell them.

 

The redo you did on the other thread was much better, less self absorbed. Take out the shirtless picture.

 

And no. Your first one was intimidating. The redo was so much better.

Posted

You're, not your. And everything dreamer said.

Posted

I don't care what you look like, just turn me on, and if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow." -- Henry Rollins

 

Nothing is more appealing than the above words!

Posted

Strongly recommend you lose that

 

Title : If your worth it, ill make you know it. (I like this for a few reasons, I make the reader think am I worth it? It also make them think how would be prove it to me? So it kinda of a challenge)

 

It does none of the aforementioned. Makes you sound arrogant and no one is going to stick around to see if they "measure up" :rolleyes:

Posted

Change it to "Why does every woman just want me for my body?"

Posted

No, don't use that. Title really doesn't matter..do you really judge profiles by the title? Do you even read it?

Posted

Everything dreamer said.

 

Also, "to" and "too" are not the same thing.

 

Also also, you should learn what a comma is, and use it. Or you could just rewrite your profile; that would probably be easier than figuring out the commas. Your syntax is off.

Posted

Oh.. better title..

 

"Does this shirt make me look fat?"

 

This of course goes with the shirtless pic.

Posted

Give me an example of what you say when you send someone a message. Just copy and paste one or you can send it privately to me. I think I can get a lot more from that, because both of your profiles are good IMO.

  • Author
Posted

BTW Im on 4 sites. Match, Okcupid, Plentyoffish and Fitnesssingles.

 

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member16316312.htm

 

There are three photos I like of myself for profile. Check them out

The jet ski, the airplane and well shirtless. Please weight in on them and pick your favorite

 

For titles. No one likes "lets fly away"? How about something like "Lets make our dreams come true." Is that too gay?

Posted

I like your new write up much better!

Posted
BTW Im on 4 sites. Match, Okcupid, Plentyoffish and Fitnesssingles.

 

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member16316312.htm

 

There are three photos I like of myself for profile. Check them out

The jet ski, the airplane and well shirtless. Please weight in on them and pick your favorite

 

For titles. No one likes "lets fly away"? How about something like "Lets make our dreams come true." Is that too gay?

Did you happen to notice the 5 page "shirtless pics on dating sites" thread on this forum?

Posted

Title really doesn't mean anything. I have "Hi" as my title and I get messages back. It's all about the content of you contact email and subsequent emails.

 

I would say you're title will only make you sound like a douche to some people and I highly doubt it will aid you at all.

Posted

oh he finally made a thread just for his profile

 

what is with the crazy titles? actually a title says a lot. it does matter. you could just simply say "searching for someone special"...well if you are. why all the gay titles as you call them lol

  • Author
Posted
Give me an example of what you say when you send someone a message. Just copy and paste one or you can send it privately to me. I think I can get a lot more from that, because both of your profiles are good IMO.

 

Ill post a few that ive sent.

 

To some random girl... No response

 

Hi im...

 

I read your profile and found your comment under what I'm doing with my life to hilarious. That caught my attention some how. Anyhow check out my profile if you like what you see let me know.

 

To a girl that winked at me... No response

 

Hi I'm ...,

 

I checked out your profile and you seem pretty down to earth. I too am looking for someone to get to know, find attractive, interesting, fun, exciting and most of all make them happy. It seems as though we might be compatible. I hope you like outdoor activities like jet skiing. I too like to travel. In fact I am planning a trip to Italy next month. Anyways, if you have any questions please ask. I look forward to finding out more about you.

To a girl that responded to me.. but never responded back.. This was my second message to her.

 

I am ...

 

I'm currently beginning to work on becoming a flight instructor. So you want to be involved with forensics? So you probably really like CSI or really hate it lol. To be honest I'm not much into writing a biography in an email. Id rather talk about all the exciting stuff face to face, chemistry doesn't happen in an email. I'm looking for someone who enjoys doing physical activities to going out on the town to cuddling up at home and have a nice dinner and a movie. I like to mix things up.

 

I have emailed at least 30-40 more girls with no response in the last 2 months

Posted

If anything this is probably my favorite:

 

"Lets make our dreams come true...Is that too gay?"

 

At least it's kinda funny.

  • Author
Posted
If anything this is probably my favorite:

 

"Lets make our dreams come true...Is that too gay?"

 

At least it's kinda funny.

 

The gay part isn't part of the title. lol but its funny.

Posted
Did you happen to notice the 5 page "shirtless pics on dating sites" thread on this forum?

:lmao: Five pages is never enough!

 

Anyone else totally enthralled with shirtless men?

Posted
Ill post a few that ive sent.

 

To some random girl... No response

 

Hi im...

 

I read your profile and found your comment under what I'm doing with my life to hilarious. That caught my attention some how. Anyhow check out my profile if you like what you see let me know.

 

To a girl that winked at me... No response

 

Hi I'm ...,

 

I checked out your profile and you seem pretty down to earth. I too am looking for someone to get to know, find attractive, interesting, fun, exciting and most of all make them happy. It seems as though we might be compatible. I hope you like outdoor activities like jet skiing. I too like to travel. In fact I am planning a trip to Italy next month. Anyways, if you have any questions please ask. I look forward to finding out more about you.

To a girl that responded to me.. but never responded back.. This was my second message to her.

 

I am ...

 

I'm currently beginning to work on becoming a flight instructor. So you want to be involved with forensics? So you probably really like CSI or really hate it lol. To be honest I'm not much into writing a biography in an email. Id rather talk about all the exciting stuff face to face, chemistry doesn't happen in an email. I'm looking for someone who enjoys doing physical activities to going out on the town to cuddling up at home and have a nice dinner and a movie. I like to mix things up.

 

I have emailed at least 30-40 more girls with no response in the last 2 months

 

I think you talk about yourself too much. Seduction is all about the other person.

 

Besides, your entire profile is about yourself. There's no reason to restate any of that info in your message, IMO.

Posted

New title: I'm Effin' Awesome!

Posted

Seriously, if you want to use a shirtless pic at least be doing something constructive. Like volley ball on the beach for example.

Posted

I wouldn't say that you like to amp up on the second date. FYI - you still have that shirtless picture up....

Posted
Ill post a few that ive sent.

 

To some random girl... No response

 

Hi im...

 

I read your profile and found your comment under what I'm doing with my life to hilarious. That caught my attention some how. Anyhow check out my profile if you like what you see let me know.

 

To a girl that winked at me... No response

 

Hi I'm ...,

 

I checked out your profile and you seem pretty down to earth. I too am looking for someone to get to know, find attractive, interesting, fun, exciting and most of all make them happy. It seems as though we might be compatible. I hope you like outdoor activities like jet skiing. I too like to travel. In fact I am planning a trip to Italy next month. Anyways, if you have any questions please ask. I look forward to finding out more about you.

To a girl that responded to me.. but never responded back.. This was my second message to her.

 

I am ...

 

I'm currently beginning to work on becoming a flight instructor. So you want to be involved with forensics? So you probably really like CSI or really hate it lol. To be honest I'm not much into writing a biography in an email. Id rather talk about all the exciting stuff face to face, chemistry doesn't happen in an email. I'm looking for someone who enjoys doing physical activities to going out on the town to cuddling up at home and have a nice dinner and a movie. I like to mix things up.

 

I have emailed at least 30-40 more girls with no response in the last 2 months

 

what did you find hilarious about what the girl was doing with her life lol

 

the second message you posted is the better one out of the 3

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