imme997 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 About two months ago, I started talking to a girl I hadn't seen since 10th grade on facebook (I'm 23 now). We hit it off and began talking on the phone. We seemed to have real nice chemistry and seemed to be on the same page, we're both really attracted to each other and like each other. So, after a few weeks of talking on the phone, she invited me to come see her. She lives about 2 hours away from me, so I came up one weekend to hang out - we had plans to go to dinner, and a movie, but as soon as she opened the door I hugged her and kissed her, she kissed me back and one thing lead to another and she initiated sex with me and it was great. We had a lot of sex that weekend and never even made it to the movie or dinner, we continued to talk and two weeks later, she came down to see me and we had more great sex of course. After leaving my city and going back home, she texted me telling me she really liked me and she was ready for a relationship, I put it off by telling her that I'd rather spend some more time with her before we get in a relationship, but I definitely see that happening in the future. She agreed, but about a week later she brought it up again, saying that she'd be thinking about it and she's decided that she wants to be with me and nobody else. Again, I avoided it by saying I'd rather ask her out in person, than have her ask me over the phone, she agreed and said she liked that idea. I spent a lot of time thinking about her and missing her and I knew I was reallly liking her, so I decided I was ready to give a relationship a try, so the next time I went to visit her - I asked her to be my girlfriend, she smiled and agreed - and we had another weekend full of great sex, complete with oral, 69, etc. - and we even went out to our dinner and movie date that we missed out on a month beforehand. I thought it was a great weekend and everything went well. Then after I get back home on Monday, hours later, I get a text from her saying that she doesn't think I'm ready for a relationship and that I asked her to be in a relationship in order to keep having sex with her. I was confused and we talked it out and I thought everything was good, but then the next day she decided that she wanted to cancel the relationship and start over. She says she feels like our relationship is too physically based and she wants to get to know me better before she's in a relationship with me. She said she wants to start over as friends with no sex and no kissing. I'm really confused because we've been having sex and kissing for over a month (granted only a few occasions because of the distance), but I'm just highly confused. I'm tempted to just break it off completely and lose her number, because this just make no sense to me at all - she was the one orignally initiating sex and we've talked about and had sex so much all the times we've hung out and she's loved it, and now she wants to start over as friends with no sex and NO kissing even? I don't get it. I especially dont' get how she kept bringing up how she wants to be a in a relationship with me and then when I give her that relationship, three days later she backs out of it and wants to start over. What should I do y'all? I don't know whether to start over with her like she wants or just break it off completely. Why should I have to start completely over and try to work to get back to where I'm at now?
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Sounds like all of a sudden she felt guilty about having slept with you so soon. As for the sudden "you only asked for a relationship to keep having sex with me," kinda sounds to me like she's been talking with girlfriends about it and that's the conclusion they reached. Ugh. I get the feeling, if you agree to the no-physical thing, once you see her in person again, she'll probably jump your bones, anyway. LOL Since she does the push/pull. But it's up to you if you want to play that game with her. Just know if you DO cut it off with her right now given that she thinks you were only it for sex and she's cut that off - she and all her girlfriends will have a heyday in the henhouse over this one. I will say this - if you DO decide to play by her rules and she DOES try to hump you when you see her in person next, I think it would be ****ing awesome to push her away and say, "I'm just not ready for that, and I don't think you are, either." Dude, she'll be DYING to get in your pants.
jerseyboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 LOL Girls are funny, but some variant of this happens all the time If you like her just give her what she wants. Her point of view is legitimate, although pre planning on her part would have helped:) She sexed you step 1. Then she had to ask you for the relationship. Shes now bombarded with feelings that you dont really respect her due to her behavior, you wont take this seriously, and her friends are all giving their ten cents. Take her on some dates, talk, show her you like her outside the bedroom, and I doubt the embargo will last very long
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