Does He Have Feelings For Me? Or Is It A Front?

Ok, Im falling in love with a good friend Im seeing. We're pretty close. We txt eachother 24/7 over the past 2 months, we hang out together a lot, share the same interests & have an amazing connection, we laugh a lot talk about personal things, he talks about his dog, and he cry's infront of me about how much he misses him and such, he also tells me very personal things about his family and what hes going through right now. He told me from teh beginning that he just wants to be friends because he has a lot going on in his life right now, and I accepted that. But the feelings are getting deeper and deeper, and I think he knows I love him. He does anything for me,and buys me and gives me things all the time, in which I don't care, but he does, I don't want want gifts and such from him, I just want him. Anyways last night he came over, from not seeing eachother in 1 week because he went to his brothers wedding in edmonton. He was at work today and I send my friend over with delivery food out of the blue, which I told him not to worry about paying He says thanks sweetie, and babe and such.. Anyways later that night He comes over, and gives me a pair of DC shoes he bought for me. We talk, laugh,joke around as we usually do, than he starts talking about his court date, and how he might be sent to jail etc.... So he's on the computer and out of know where he turns away from me just staring at the wall with his head down. I asked what the matter was. He didn't respond. So hes just sitting there slouched, in the corner. I don't know whats going on... he than tells me, he has to go home and take a shower, so he gives me a half ass hug than tells me he will be on msn later. (I didn't go on). I txt him after asking what the problem was and how I felt, I felt like he didn't want anything to do with me, because I didn't fully understand the vibe I got from him last night. He tells me, he just has a lot on his.

Im soo confused,I woke up with an panic attack this morning and worried..... Is he sick of me?? Have feelings for me?? Whats the issue??

And why might he be going to jail?

something one of his friends did about 1 year ago or so. Hes 27 and Im 23. Im I looking to much into this??

something one of his friends did about 1 year ago or so. Hes 27 and Im 23. Im I looking to much into this??

For something one of his friends did?

Sure, ok

Im just simply asking for advice. What he did does not involve me, it was 1 year ago.

He sounds distracted... I would be as well if I truly thought I could face jail time...

Yeah. Distracted is the word. He also sounds emotionally troubled.

I know you haven't said much here, but I'll go on my broader picture of the situation.

You're 23. You're young. I remember beign 23 and thinking dark emotionally impaired men were attractive. I learned my lesson. The hard way.

I know you have feelings for him, but if in any way you can snap out of it, please do.

1) He hasn't made a move in spite of being close to you. This suggests he knows he has nothing to offer. Believe him. NO matter how much you think you can change him or his perception of himself. If a man acts or tells you you are too good for him, he's on to something.

2) The jail time. Really??? You don't have a problem with that? That doesn't stand out to you as red flag? Why not may I ask?

3) His pulling away instead of reaching out to you, even after you insist. The boy is unstable. The boy isn't ready to open up. He's not relationship material.

I hate to play the part of your older aunt here, but with time you'll come to realize projects never stop being projects. There are men out there ready and capable of being in a relationship. Don't waste your time on turmoil unless drama is what you're looking for.

should I just simply just stay on, "hey" talking terms and nothing more till he eventually becomes stable? he randomly txt's me all the time... out of the blue. It is hard to snap out of it, but if that saves myself heart ache, it than will be the best thing for me Thanks a bunch for your advice. You really opened up my eyes.

should I just simply just stay on, "hey" talking terms and nothing more till he eventually becomes stable? he randomly txt's me all the time... out of the blue. It is hard to snap out of it, but if that saves myself heart ache, it than will be the best thing for me Thanks a bunch for your advice. You really opened up my eyes.

I'm glad you are much smarter then I was at your age (I'm 33 now btw).

I have questions for you if you don't mind.

Have you ever been in a long term relationship? If so, how long was it and would you have considered it healthy? If not, why, if so, why?

See, I think when I was younger I had no idea what a healthy relationship should be. In fact, I had never given a single thought to how I wanted to be treated in a relationship, or how I thought relationship should work. I was more focused on the romantic side then the practical side of things, and that landed me in a series of 6 months to-1 year relationships with unstable men.

So what I would advise you do to stay away from this man (and all emotionally unstable men), is have a clear idea of how you want to be treated a relationship and what you want to bring to it. Also have a 'feel' for what a healthy relationship is to you: Imagine yourself in the future, 5 years hence, after having been in a relationship with your ideal man for a few years. How do you two interact? How do you relate to each other? How do you resolve issues?

Knowing what you want in a relationship acts as a shield against troubled men because it renders obvious that their attitude doesn't lend itself to the kind of relationships you likely want.

ps: as long as you know what you want and deserve, sure stay on talking terms with this guy. Just make sure you're not holding a flame for him.

My last relationship was 4 years. Him and I still talk.. Healthy? Im not to sure to be honest. Nearing the end, it definately was not healthy. But, my other question is, how would you know if that person had feelings for you?

My last relationship was 4 years. Him and I still talk.. Healthy? Im not to sure to be honest. Nearing the end, it definately was not healthy. But, my other question is, how would you know if that person had feelings for you?

The common wisdom nowadays is that if a guy has feelings for you and wants to do something about it, he will. So until he does anything, just treat him as a friend and nothing more.