He is 5 ft 7

The guy I :love: is a little shorter than me, but he has much broader shoulders and outweighs me by at least 30 pounds of muscle. The height difference in that scenario turns me on.

I'm a guy, 5'7" and a tad insecure about it. Then I come on here and my innermost fears come true.

Personally I would feel a bit weird dating a girl taller than me, and I'm sure they would feel weird dating a guy who is shorter than them. That said, I think that people with very specific criteria are either intellectually stupid, shallow, or both.

You might have a whole laundry list of physical characteristics that you would like in someone, but what happens when you really hit it off with someone who might not have the big boobs, or the chiseled good looks, or any number of attributes? You throw them out because of a few things?

As I get older, the thing that becomes more important and apparent is this:

looks are only looks. All sorts of people whom I meet are attractive, but - wouldn't you know it - they're arrogant. They're rude. They are narcissistic and act like the center of the world.

On the other hand, someone comes along who doesn't have movie star looks, but they're the most charming, intelligent, funny person you've met in a while. I say, throw your laundry list out, learn to grow a little bit.

All you people out there with types: you're annoying, and superficial. Get over yourselves. Would you want someone to dismiss you because of your height?

Don't forget the golden rule - it applies to nearly every situation or interaction that we go through, every single day.

On the other hand, someone comes along who doesn't have movie star looks, but they're the most charming, intelligent, funny person you've met in a while. I say, throw your laundry list out, learn to grow a little bit.

I Agree. People seem to rely too much on Hollywood looks.

To me, it's important not to throw stones. There is a lot of hypocrisy when it comes to judging someone's looks - as if the judger is really all that "hot" in the first place.

But, someone hit it on the head when they said that attraction is at its core a very basic, primal thing. I won't hold it against anyone for not thinking I'm good-looking. I have no opinion of my looks, actually. But I do like my personality and my friendliness and talents.

In the end, the only opinion that matters is your own. Treat people well and it all falls into place, eventually.

Well, my ex and first everything was 5'2. I hated it. It always bothered me in the whole 4 years we were together. I hated feeling bigger then him and I love love wearing heels. It just makes me feel feminine to wear heels and be with a man who's taller then me. Although 5'2 is extremely short for a guy but I did love him with all my heart and it didn't stop me from being with him. I sure wouldn't date a short guy again!

I think that if you hated it, you should have broken up with him. What a poor bastard, having a girlfriend who was hung up on his height. You should have been up front from the get go.

Obviously I wasn't hung up on his height or I wouldn't have spent 4 years of my life with him. It wasn't something that would have stopped me from being with him cause I loved him. I did hate it though. I could never wear heels and feel comfortable next to him. I'm just being honest. I would have never ended it over height but I would never date someone who's short again. So, what you think is irrelevant.

It's all good, nothing wrong with having preferences.

I'm 5'8" and don't think I have ever dated a woman over 5'4".

Not at all, but I've yet to know a guy who has completely rejected a girl solely because she didn't have his preference of breasts or butt. I'm sure some guys out there do, but very very few. It's a common thing for a woman to reject a guy simply for being short.

If you believe that then you will believe anything, having a preference isn't shallow or a negative thing, it's a personal preference and if someone else's personal preference excludes you then find someone who's preferences do not exclude you. Only insecure men have hung ups over women's personal preferences.

I Agree. People seem to rely too much on Hollywood looks.

Yes, us men do more so then women, there's the irony that was missing from your post. Men care more about looks than a woman, hence why Maxim Magazine exists, Playboy magazine exists and most porno's focus on the woman whilst the nude scene's in Hollywood also focus on the woman, because it's a man's world. If a woman wants a Johnny Depp look-a-like then what's wrong with that? Most men want a woman of Jessica Alba's ilk, so why is there a double standard?

But, someone hit it on the head when they said that attraction is at its core a very basic, primal thing. I won't hold it against anyone for not thinking I'm good-looking. I have no opinion of my looks, actually. But I do like my personality and my friendliness and talents.

 

In the end, the only opinion that matters is your own. Treat people well and it all falls into place, eventually.

This is exactly it. Its primal attraction - it hits you in an instinct and makes you feel queasy and excited.

All these people saying grow up and dont focus on looks will end up trying to make it work and then splitting up a year down the line. It doesnt work. You need that attraction there in the first place.

This doesnt mean hollywood looks/muscle - its an individual thing. But i have dated short men before and it is wasting their time.

i have an issue because the woman setting up these dates is getting offended that i am not considering short men. I cant make her understand without being rude. Any tips. (have to be nice or she will send me the worst men)>.

 

i have an issue because the woman setting up these dates is getting offended that i am not considering short men. I cant make her understand without being rude. Any tips. (have to be nice or she will send me the worst men)>.

Are you shy that you need your friend to set you up on dates? How old are you? 12? Set up your own dates with men you know you are attracted to, you friend won't KNOW what YOU REALLY LIKE, because SHE IS NOT YOU. Tell her to mind her own business and concentrate on her love life instead of on yours. But be more polite and more subtle than expressed by me.

i had a date with a guy who is the same height as me. Everything else was ok but it bugs me that he is so short. I mean really bugs me.

 

I find i have this problem a lot.

 

I cannot overlook it. Should I not date men unless they meet a minimum height requirement - that cuts out a whole load of men - but i cannot bear to have a man the same height as me. Its not on.

Well, your words clearly show you want a taller man. However, you are now entering the conundrum many women face when they crave taller.

Now you wake up and find your pickings are slim. Had one girl who very much wanted a guy who was 6'2" or taller, but she found that every guy she met who was tall enough either wasn't good looking enough, or their lives were a mess, or they just didn't treat women well...while all the shorter guys had great jobs, good looks, and/or treated women well.

When it comes down to selection criteria...tall, big boobs, thin bodies, long hair, muscles, money, excitement, etc...I say the same thing over and over. Have your standards PROVIDED they bring you RESULTS.

So if all the taller men in your neck of the woods work crappy jobs, drink too much, and treat women badly, then you might have to rethink how important height is to you compared to the other things you want in a man.

I know for me the one thing I never would budge on is weight. I wanted a woman of a healthy weight. However, a lot of other physical characteristics were optional. I'd love a healthy weighted brunette with long hair and a nice chest...but outside of weight I didn't care about the rest. I'd even date a taller woman and not be bothered. My GF has short blonde hair and a small chest, but I love her anyway...because in her head and heart she has a LOT of what I want in a woman.

It's ok to not want to date shorter guys, just beware that your selection criteria doesn't "price yourself off the market" as some have eluded to. If making a height requirement will drop the eligible males for you so significantly that you have to work very hard to snag one of those males, then it might be unrealistic.

You all have to think long term. Think if this person will be for you the person you want in your life. Lord knows I've seen many men and women put such a priority on looks, youth, etc...and yet they never end up in a solid RL because they don't focus on important things like "will this person be good to me?"

As for the shorter men, I feel for you all, but you should look at women like this not as a loss, but as one you won't have to deal with in life. If all the women on the planet were to unanamously decide that they will only date and marry men who are 6' or taller, then don't see it as you are a loser...but step back and ask "ok...where are all you women going to find one of those apiece?" You'll see a lot of lonely women out there complaining there aren't enough tall men for them.

Just stay who you are and don't be insecure about your height. Be honest in dating profiles and other walks of life about it and let people reject you. Eventually some who hold an unrealistic height requirement will be stuck in the conundrum of being a cat lady or marrying that good man who may not be as tall as they originally wanted.

So what's the point?? I'm that height too, so he is my b/f, well he's only half an inch taller. Now I barely wear high heels as I don't like them, yes with that, I can appear taller than him. See with me it's rather the opposite, I don't like huge men over 6 ft. definately not 6 ''5'' or above either.

Why are you wasting everyone's time by dating a guy that doesn't fit an important criteria in your list? If his height is a major turn off, just part ways with him and find someone who is taller.

I think the OP wanted attention?

FYI - I'm 3'11" and weigh a whopping 17 kg....that's right, 17 kg. Can I date the OP?

i must say being a 5,7 guy this thread is a little discouraging , a friend could say i got the perfect guy for you and the first thing that comes out is " is he short ? " not what does he do not even is he at least cute ..

I do thank D-Jam for those encourging words it's just frustrating to think a girl i respect and admire for all her good won't even give me a chance cause i'm not tall enough

No i am not after attention.

I wanted peoples views on this - why is that so unlawful?

I know there are slim pickings but what good is going with a man that i dont find attractive (because he is too short) going to do ? It doesnt work. other women may compromise on this if all the other good traits are there but i find taller men stand taller - they are confident and carry themselves well.

you rarely get all the qualities you seek anyway - so i will not compromise on height but i may compromise on something else like if he rents a house but doesnt own it.

i must say being a 5,7 guy this thread is a little discouraging , a friend could say i got the perfect guy for you and the first thing that comes out is " is he short ? " not what does he do not even is he at least cute ..

 

 

I do thank D-Jam for those encourging words it's just frustrating to think a girl i respect and admire for all her good won't even give me a chance cause i'm not tall enough

yes but i dont have big tits - men might want that but i wouldnt complain if they reject me on that!! also there are more women out there so if a taller woman rejects u on height, there will always be a shorter one around. With women there are less men to choose from.

Dont you want to be taller then your woman? isnt it a nice feeling of protectiveness ?

But, someone hit it on the head when they said that attraction is at its core a very basic, primal thing. I won't hold it against anyone for not thinking I'm good-looking. I have no opinion of my looks, actually. But I do like my personality and my friendliness and talents.

Attraction IS a primal thing and no one can or should be telling people what they should be attracted to.

I want to be with a man who thinks I'm drop dead gorgeous the way I am, flat chest, chicken legs and all. Not one who approaches me with a bunch of "if onlys" as in, " if only she's was bit taller..."

For the shorter men who are bitter because of their height, get over it. You accept and learn to be happy with the cards nature dealt you. The good thing about it is we ALL have somebody out there in this world who will think we're the sh*t, no matter how imperfect we are. You just haven't met yours yet.

Originally Posted by kizik

But, someone hit it on the head when they said that attraction is at its core a very basic, primal thing. I won't hold it against anyone for not thinking I'm good-looking. I have no opinion of my looks, actually. But I do like my personality and my friendliness and talents.

For the shorter men who are bitter because of their height, get over it.

For my part, I'm over it - the problem is all the superficial people with types out there. THEY need to get over it.

Please, men dismiss women all the time based on looks. In general, women are much less likely to put appearance at the top of their list of desires in a man. I'm tall, and I'm certain plenty of men dismiss me immediately because of that. However, I have learned that it absolutely works to my advantage in the professional realm. I think it is true that people listen to you and pay attention when you're tall. Those studies that show attractive people are more successful also find that success correlates positively with height as well, for both men and women.

As far as looks go, I have dated a range of men, from what I'm sure most would consider average to very attractive. But I do prefer a taller guy, and for me, pretty much the taller the better. The shortest guy I dated was an inch shorter than me, and the tallest was 6'4". My three best relationships were with guys 5'11", 6'0", and 6'1". I guess that is my sweet spot.

Im glad i am not the only one who likes the taller and bigger man.

Oh, plenty of us do, girlfriend, no need to worry about it.

Just go with what makes you comfortable.

I wouldn't look twice at anyone less than 6'0" (5'7" here).

So how did you meet this guy? Is he one of those online dudes who lie about their heights? That must be it.

I think it is true that people listen to you and pay attention when you're tall. Those studies that show attractive people are more successful also find that success correlates positively with height as well, for both men and women.

No wonder no one listens to me, and now I understand why I am unsuccessful: I am short and ugly!

For a long time, I went along in my happy little bubble believing that looks aren't that important and it's what's inside that counts. I have now grown up and realized that looks and physical attributes are very important to most people. It's not going to change the way I live, but it's helpful to keep the reality of human nature in mind.