messing around at work

I have been flirting, hugging, rubbing and having oral sex with a man at work. We both agree that we are not emotionally connected, and are just having this primal attraction towards each other. We have agreed to stop at least 10 times, but always end up back together.

We are both married, and neither of us has ever done anything like this. If we are not getting emotionally involved, and we have not had penetration, is it an affair?

The weird part is that my husband and I are also having great sex. I really don't have any major complaints about my marriage, and am not looking for a way out. This thing with the coworker really seems separate.

Am i fooling myself?

We are both married, and neither of us has ever done anything like this. If we are not getting emotionally involved, and we have not had penetration, is it an affair?

Yes, it's an affair, a physical affair.

Better question - if your spouses knew what you were doing, would THEY think it's an affair and would they divorce you as soon as they got over the incredible disrespect and shock of you cheating on them behind their backs?

Am i fooling myself?

Yes, you're fooling yourself.

And not just because you're fooling your husband. The fact that you "have agreed to stop at least 10 times, but always end up back together" is a sign that you are as hooked as a crack addict and can't control yourself. It's just a matter of time before you're caught. And if you're doing this actually AT work, you'll be fired, too.

If your husband was getting his tool sucked on, wouldn't you consider that to be an affair?

Come on. Own what you are doing.

Ummm... you're sucking another man's dick, and letting him eat you out.

If you can honestly say your husband wouldn't object to any of that, then you're not cheating. If he would object to that, then it's cheating.

Technicalities don't go very far with infidelity. Cheating is in the eye of the cheated, not the cheater.

If your husband was getting his tool sucked on, wouldn't you consider that to be an affair?

 

Come on. Own what you are doing.

what was it that Jack Nicholson said in the movie "As good as it gets"...

sheesh and I thought he was just making that up.

I am sorry. I have seen some really stupid posts on here but this takes the cake. If you just said flirting and hugging, then I understand how you could be confused BUT when you add oral SEX!!!! and then ask if it is cheating? LOL, Come on lady, you have got to be kidding me??

I think your husband would understand a 1 time "penetration" better then a continuous oral sex affair that you haven't been able to stop at least 10 times, at your office no less. The fact that he is married too makes it even worse. The second his wife finds out, watch your back. Oh and if you think there is no emotional attachment, you are sadly in denial because you continue to go back to him over and over again. Does your husband not have a tongue or fingers????

I think you already knew your answer or you wouldn't be logging onto an infidelity forum. If you are looking for redemption because he hasn't inserted his wang into you yet (yet being the key word here) you are looking at the wrong forum.

Your poor husband.

I don't think it's cheating if you are incompetent, as asking this question would indicate. The MM, is risking criminal prosecution for taking advantage of a vulnerable adult, though.

And, say hello to your brother, Bill. Sorry Hillary did not fare better.

How would you feel if your husband was doing to you what you are doing to him? You are betraying and totally disrespecting your husband. Why don't you ask your husband if it is an affair that you are having oral sex with another man. It is clear that you do not appreciate your husband. I hope your husband finds out what type of woman he is married to so he can divorce you and find another woman who can respect him and truly respect the marriage vows she takes. You are really a piece of work having the intelligence to even ask such a question. Are you enjoying making a fool of your husband and a mockery of your marriage?

If we are not getting emotionally involved, and we have not had penetration, is it an affair?

I don't know how you could think oral sex and fooling around ISN'T an affair. If your husband was doing what you're doing, I'm SURE you would consider it cheating! Sure, you may not be emotionally attached to this guy (yet) but eventually those feelings will hit you and probably him as well.

Let me ask you, is your marriage worth throwing away over hot sex with some married co-worker? Imagine sitting across the diningroom table from your husband, and having to face him, explain to him that all the hot sex meant nothing - ALL the meanwhile you've STILL been having sex with your H all along! He'll be sick over this, both physically and mentally.

The sex you're having with your H is left over sexual energy you share with the MM coworker. Imagine how you'd feel if your H was doing all this with another woman and then came home to you, and had mad passionate sex with you, but all along he was horned up because of the OW, not really you. Hate to say this, but it would be like he was using you as a hole, a release. THAT is what you're doing TO your husband. You're using your own husband to physically have sex because you're not 'doing it' (yet) with the MMcoworker. It has nothing to do with having sex with your H as you aren't "into" him as much as you would like everyone to think.

Both you and the MM should be ashamed, what you're doing to your spouses and family is cruel and it's only a matter of time before people figure it out, the gossip starts, and your work reputation gets ruined as well as your marriage.

I'm trying to imagine a world in which it WOULDN'T be considered infidelity.

Husband: "Hi sweetie, how was work?"

Wife: "Pretty good, thanks honey. In the morning I went down on Brad and he ate me out, and then in the afternoon we had a really boring budget meeting."

Husband: "Sounds good. What do you think we should have for dinner tonight? Oh wait, I guess you're probably still full!"

(both laugh, go out for dinner)

Sheesh.

I'm really hoping this poster is fake and the story is made up. If it's real, its' going to be a very messy and painful situation.

I'm trying to imagine a world in which it WOULDN'T be considered infidelity.

 

Husband: "Hi sweetie, how was work?"

Wife: "Pretty good, thanks honey. In the morning I went down on Brad ...

...Now come give me a big kiss hello!"

It's ok. Your husband is probably doing the same thing with someone else.

Gee, I sure wish I was married.

I think this is a troll!

I didn't read the other responses but I chuckled when I thought of whether my H would think I was having an affair just because I willingly put another man's willy in my mouth.

Should I do it in front of him or in the office supply closet? :laugh: :laugh:

I'm trying to imagine a world in which it WOULDN'T be considered infidelity.

 

Husband: "Hi sweetie, how was work?"

Wife: "Pretty good, thanks honey. In the morning I went down on Brad and he ate me out, and then in the afternoon we had a really boring budget meeting."

Husband: "Sounds good. What do you think we should have for dinner tonight? Oh wait, I guess you're probably still full!"

(both laugh, go out for dinner)

 

Sheesh.

OMG, You're probably still full - classic!

If we are not getting emotionally involved, and we have not had penetration, is it an affair?

lol. here is a tip, ask you husband if he consideres it a full "blown" affair. ...It is a BIG time affair. You got to be kidding me.

Do yourself and your husband a favor. Confess everthing now!. And watch the "fun".

We are both married, and neither of us has ever done anything like this. If we are not getting emotionally involved, and we have not had penetration, is it an affair?

If you can tell your spouse about it and you think it is no big deal then no.

If you are afraid to tell your spouse about it and think he will explode, then yes.

so go home and tell your husband, then you'll have your answer.

Either way, whether you think its an affair or not, it IS cheating.

The weird part is that my husband and I are also having great sex. I really don't have any major complaints about my marriage, and am not looking for a way out. This thing with the coworker really seems separate.

 

Am i fooling myself?

You are trying to justify cheating on your husband.

Like I said, tell him about it if you think you aren't having an affair.

Hell, tell him about it either way, because he deserves to know what his so-called wife is doing behind his back.

I don't think it's cheating if you are incompetent, as asking this question would indicate. The MM, is risking criminal prosecution for taking advantage of a vulnerable adult, though.

And, say hello to your brother, Bill. Sorry Hillary did not fare better.

Now that's funny.

troll person.

YES YOU ARE FOOLING YOURSELF! I'm glad your not emotionally attached. I think you both are very selfish. I think your spouse and his spouse are emotionally attached. How do you think your husband would feel if he found out? In other words imagine your husband coming home and telling you he did the exact same thing your doing to him. Would you be ok with it? Do you think by saying your not emotionally attached, that makes it right? If you don't want to be married to your husband, then get a divorce and mess around with whoever you like. Do you have low self esteem? If you love your husband then STOP! Put his feelings before your own. And, is messing around with this guy worth losing your husband for? I feel sorry for your husband. He doesn't deserve this. Good Luck To You