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Posted

So heres the story, my girlfriend has a male best mate. but now they've fell out, so apparently he was going to phone me and ruin us. My girlfriend told me whatever he says is rubbish. i said if he says you'v kissed its lies then yea? She said, Yeah Promise.

 

He Never Rung.

 

Today i found her live journal by accident, and it has this written in it;

 

D.Y tried to split me and craig up by calling craig up, and telling him some stuff, like about when i made out with D.Y when i was drunk, or when i slept in his bed. But you know what? I am so totally ashamed of all that and trying to forget it but the thing is, i CAN'T. it just gets to me so much.

 

I REally don't know what to do, she said she didn't tell me because it dindn't mean anything.. im really hurting please help ):

Posted
So heres the story, my girlfriend has a male best mate. but now they've fell out, so apparently he was going to phone me and ruin us. My girlfriend told me whatever he says is rubbish. i said if he says you'v kissed its lies then yea? She said, Yeah Promise.

 

He Never Rung.

 

Today i found her live journal by accident, and it has this written in it;

 

D.Y tried to split me and craig up by calling craig up, and telling him some stuff, like about when i made out with D.Y when i was drunk, or when i slept in his bed. But you know what? I am so totally ashamed of all that and trying to forget it but the thing is, i CAN'T. it just gets to me so much.

 

I REally don't know what to do, she said she didn't tell me because it dindn't mean anything.. im really hurting please help ):

 

What do you do? Easy. Dump her. Not only did she cheat on you, she lied to you to keep you in the dark about it.

 

And being drunk isn't an excuse. Even if it was, nothing was said about her being drunk when she slept in his bed(sounds like 2 different occasions).

 

And don't let the "it didn't mean anything" get to you. It doesn't matter if it meant something or not. With that kind of logic, she could mess around and its ok as long as it doesn't mean anything.

 

Cut your losses. I know you say you are hurting, but ask yourself this question, do you want to be with a cheater and someone you can't trust?

And with a so-called male "best mate".

Posted

Haha... found the journal by accident?

 

 

Anyways, yes break up with her. I have been piss ass drunk and still known that my girlfriend was worth way more than any of the girls hitting on me.

Posted
but i really love her ):

 

How long have you been with her?

Posted

Do you want to marry someone who can't cheat and lie to your face?

Posted

OP, that's tough :(

 

Sounds like she was doing some pre-emptive gaslighting. I'll bet there has been a history of her not getting her needs met in your R through no fault of your own. This latest episode is just a symptom.

 

Sometimes we let people we love go :)

  • Author
Posted

its nearly a year now, she says that it won't happen again..

 

but she cuts..and she promised me she wouldn't then i found out she did..

 

idk if i can trust her anymore..

 

):

Posted
but i really love her ):

 

I thought the same way as you did. The shock was making me all lapdogish and whipped too when I found out.

 

But as long as you think you love a cheater, you will let her walk all over you. time......and time.......and time again.

 

ditch her.

Posted
its nearly a year now, she says that it won't happen again..

 

They all do

 

 

idk if i can trust her anymore..

):

 

You can't. Best to find someone you can trust.

Posted

thats so sad.

 

do what you feel is best. =)

Posted
...now they've fell out, so apparently he was going to phone me and ruin us. My girlfriend told me whatever he says is rubbish. i said if he says you'v kissed its lies then yea? She said, Yeah Promise.

 

1. She's a liar

2. She made out with someone else and then lied to cover it up, even going so far as to call another person a liar rather than face the consequences.

 

D.Y tried to split me and craig up by calling craig up, and telling him some stuff, like about when i made out with D.Y when i was drunk, or when i slept in his bed.

 

3. She slept in the guy's bed and lied about it. Making her once, twice, three times a liar already.

 

If you forgive her, she will do it again and you'll feel like a fool. She's already shown her true colours and she's hardly marrying material. End it while you still have some self-respect.

Posted

She'll never learn unless she faces some real consequences of this type of action.

 

If you accept her apology and take her back, she knows she can get away with it and will never change.

 

The unfortunate reality is that for her to change for the better, you need to break up with her and stay broken up with her. She'll realize the consequences of her actions and has a chance of doing better - with the next guy.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

If she says that it meant nothing, I would take her word for it. The truth is that she is with u, not with the guy she kissed, she does not even talk to him.. and it sounds like shes been trying to forget about the mistake and to focus on the relationship with u. If you love her, dont leave her.

Posted

Only you in the end can decide if you want to stay with her or not. By what you found written in her journal, seems that she was feeling guilty about the kiss otherwise why would she write about it.

Personally if I was you I wouldn't take her back but seems you love her as you say make sure she's honest with you on everything, that includes her e-mails and accounts. Made her understand that it will take some time before you can trust her again.

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