Met This Girl

Ok I am in my lower 30's and divorced, with a child. I met this girl a couple of weeks ago and we've been hanging out since. I feel so happy when I'm around her. There is deffinetley a physical attraction between the two of us. We get along great and have lots of fun when we are around each other. I want to ask her out but keep getting mixed signals from her. Most of the time it seems she is into me and I would like me to make the next move. I've been out of the dating game a long time and just have no idea how to read women anymore, or know what to do in these situations, like what is the next move? I'm thinking of backing off a bit and seeing what happens. Any advice?

Yeah ASK HER OUT!!

At least that way you know where you stand.

The only way to know is to ask her out. Women aren't that hard to figure out - the ones that aren't into playing games anyway.

Ok I am in my lower 30's and divorced, with a child. I met this girl a couple of weeks ago and we've been hanging out since. I feel so happy when I'm around her. There is deffinetley a physical attraction between the two of us. We get along great and have lots of fun when we are around each other. I want to ask her out but keep getting mixed signals from her. Most of the time it seems she is into me and I would like me to make the next move. I've been out of the dating game a long time and just have no idea how to read women anymore, or know what to do in these situations, like what is the next move? I'm thinking of backing off a bit and seeing what happens. Any advice?

You've been "hanging out" but you won't "ask her out"? Sorry but I don't get it... Adults of the opposite sex typically don't become friends by coincidence unless there is attraction (or despair). Go for it!

Last night we were at her house. We started talking a little and she said she was content. I don't know if I should take that as a good thing or not. Hmmm, maybe I should just man up and ask her to be my girlfriend? We hold hands and kiss everytime we are together. Like I said, the physical part is deffinetley there. I just need to quit being such a chicken s**t. As I said before, it's been a while since I've done this whole dating thing.

So you are dating her but you'd like it to become serious now? Are you looking to have a monogamous R with her?

Last night we were at her house. We started talking a little and she said she was content. I don't know if I should take that as a good thing or not. Hmmm, maybe I should just man up and ask her to be my girlfriend? We hold hands and kiss everytime we are together. We get a long great, we have the same sense of humor, share alot of the same interests, it just feels really right. Like I said, the physical part is deffinetley there. I just need to quit being such a chicken s**t. I think I am just afraid of getting hurt.

Another thing, she spends a lot of time with her friends too, but seems to be able to find a little time for me at night. I guess I really shoudn't expect her to drop plans she's had set for a while to make time for me since we've only known each other a couple of weeks.

Lumpy, if you want to take this to the next stage, you have to feel her out. What does her body language tell you? How inclusive is she of you? Does she invite you out a lot? Is she interested in your life? Has she mentioned wanting you to meet her friends?

These are all sings that someone wants more of you.

We went over to her best friends house the other night. Her friend told me she's heard a lot about me.

As far as body language goes, i'm not real good at reading it. So, a little help on decoding that would be a plus. We've seen each other almost every night for the last week, even if it's just for an hour or so (she lives relatively close).

Do you think it's time to talk to her about moving forward?

Also, I stayed at her house last night. She said she was gonna kick me out, but we fell asleep watching a movie and woke up a few hours later, I said I was gonna go, she said no, I didn't have to.

Do you think it's time to talk to her about moving forward?

We haven't been seeing each other that long. But, I would like to have the conversation with her.

Asking here if she's ready for a serious R isn't really going to provide you with fruitful answers.

This is a question only she can answer. At some point, you'll have to use what you've seen and heard and decide if you want to gamble by asking her if she wants to move on to something monogamous/serious.

Mind you, if you are premature and come off clingy/needy, she might withdraw and decide she's not that into you anymore.

Mind you, if you are premature and come off clingy/needy, she might withdraw and decide she's not that into you anymore.

That's what I'm worried about.

That's what I'm worried about.

So then take your time. There is no rush, is there?

Why not let her bring it up?

So then take your time. There is no rush, is there?

 

Why not let her bring it up?

That's what I am thinking, I just don't want to wait to long and make her think that I'm not interested in a long term commitment.

That's what I am thinking, I just don't want to wait to long and make her think that I'm not interested in a long term commitment.

You should be able to tell by her body language. The fact that you've spent so much time with her but are still totally in the dark is interesting. One would think that you'd know by now.

Just go with how things are. You can show her you are interested by spending time with her, wooing her, and what not without actually asking her.

It will get to a point where she'll tell you she's not interested in taking it further or she'll bring it up and want to know what's happening.

What types of things should I be looking for in the body language, I honestly don't remember. It's been 7 years since I've gone through any of this.

Lumpy, you need to have a little more confidence in yourself!

First of all, realize that this woman enjoys spending time with you. She has let you into her home. She's introduced you to a friend. She's been OK with you sleeping over.

Focus on what she does (rather than what she says). If it looks like she's enjoying your company, then it probably means she is!

Also, her own personal dating/marital background is important. If she just came out of something serious, she probably wants some time off (or maybe not).

She has never been married, and, as far as I know is not fresh out of any kind of relationship (she's been single a while I think).

I hear ya on the confidence thing, it's been a problem of mine my whole life and have no idea why.

I will just ride out the next couple of weeks and see what comes of it. Hopefully something good.