Dumped after she lost the attraction...

Hi guys,

My girlfriend of just over 2 years broke up with me last October time. I went no contact for about two weeks, maybe three weeks, and she called me, said she couldn't live without me etc.

Since then, things have been lovely - until a week ago. She started saying she didn't feel happy again, couldn't see us having a future together, even though she loves me so much. I stayed at hers last Thursday night, she was a little distant, seemed a bit weird, but kept saying she's fine. She was still very kissy and touchy feely, but seemed a little distant.

She text me Friday afternoon after I had left her house and said, "Have I made you feel sad again?" and I replied, "Yes...a little, you're being a bit indifferent with me". She replied, "I feel like I'm losing/have lost the attraction. I love you and love spending time with you, but I'm worried the romantic feelings won't come back?"

I haven't let myself go or anything, not put on any weight etc. and always wear nice clothes and make an effort to look nice. Is this the end of the road for sure this time? Any ideas anyone??

By the way, she's 18 and I'm 25 - a big age gap I know and I certainly hadn't intended falling for anyone her age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But she's a beautiful girl and we share so much in common - it wasn't a 'flash in the pan' as you can tell as we've been together over 2 years.

Later that night (Friday), she called me and said it was over. She said she just sees me as a best friend now and that she doesn't have those romantic feelings for me anymore. She said she loves me, but not in that way anymore and that it isn't anything I've done, it has just happened. She said that if she didn't see me now for two weeks, she'd really miss me, but she could easily go two weeks without kissing and cuddling me and she knows that isn't right. So its over. She text me straight after and said, "Thanks for being the best friend a girl could have xxx". I didn't reply to the text.

We had a brief online discussion last night, but that was it, no phone calls or anything, she just said she'd told her parents and they'd said they understand her decision if that is how she feels etc. I went downstairs for half an hour while she was online and when I returned, she'd gone offline. She text me after saying, "I've gone to bed now. Thanks for the chat. night! x" - again I didn't reply. Not spoken to her today, I've been really busy and not online etc. and haven't called/text her. When we spoke online last night she said she's really missed talking to me, but doesn't regret her decision and just wants to be single now. She's off to university in a few months and has long been saying she couldn't see our relationship lasting when she goes away, she's been having many doubts. She said she wants to stay friends, but I don't know...it never works does it? I love seeing her and she is also my best friend and I could happily just be friends without needing the physical contact, but at the same time I know I'd be gutted if she started seeing someone else.

She actually broke up with me last October for three weeks, we went no contact and then she rang me and said she misses me so much and can't live without me. So we got back together. Two months later and now this! I can't believe it - we had a lovely Christmas together too.

Very sad tonight and don't know where to go with this...I spend every single weekend without fail with her, not sure what to do with myself now! We've just kind of gone 'no contact' without actually saying we would...

Any advice as to what to do now would be greatly appreciated

I know exactly how your feeling.

My ex and I have lost all contact over the last month or so. We had initially decided that we would stay friends and then all of a sudden, we stopped talking to eachother all together. And now..Everytime i try to contact him, he just ignores me. Yet he still talks to my bestfriend. Its so heartbreaking that someone could be THAT cold.

Its REALLY hard to go from being really close to not talking to eachother at all. I know. But you have to do this. You have no other choice. Just keep yourself occupied for the time-being.

I just went through more or less the same thing... I'm a 22 year old student, and I live in student accomodations on campus. I started going out with the girl next door beginning of October, and at first everything was fantastic. She lives right across my doorstep, so we could really spend so much time together. Then, after winter break, she seemed quite distant. When I confronted her last week about it, she told me she didn't have the same feelings for me anymore, and that she would prefer if we broke up. She was really the first girl I have ever cared for so much, so I was despaired, even though I had seen it coming. But I trusted her, and when she told me she had no one else in her life, I accepted it.

Then, 2 days later, I started seeing her really close to this other guy. Comes yesterday, and it was just too obvious. I asked her about it (she didn't have the guts to tell me herself, even though I clearly hinted it to her that I would prefer it if she told me herself...). She admitted she was into him, but swore again she had nothing planned at all when we broke up... yeah right...

OK, I know 3 months is nothing compared to 2 years. But again, she was the real first one for me... So that counts I guess. I'm living a nightmare right now: she still lives across my doorstep, and, even though she spends most of her time at the other guy's room, I still bump into her wayyyyy too often. She is also still in my group of friends, so I'm going to have to deal with her when we go out all together. So NC (that means No Contact, right?) is unfortunately not an option here... In addition, seeing the too of them cuddling together on campus (small campus, 300 students maximum!) is each time a horrendous experience for me.

So that's it, feels good having written it all down. If anyone is more or less in the same situation, I'd love to chat with them via MSN. Here's a temporary address I'll answer for some time: [email protected]

Yeah, she's most likely already started seeing someone else.. She's young dude, really young. Women.. sorry, girls that age go from guy, to guy, to guy and they don't know what they want.

You guys were together two years, and she's 18 now?? So you guys hooked up when you were 23 and she was 16???? To her you're old news, and she wants to date other people..

Sorry if I seem harsh, but that's the harsh reality when you deal with young girls like that. She's not evil or vindictive.. just young.

Go NC, long enough so you can get over her.. cause you're not gonna want to know what she's doing.

Good luck

I was in a similar situation 2 months back. The girl is 19 and im in my mid twenties, i was reluctant about dating her in the beginning because of her age i and told her that but she kept chasing me plus she was drop dead gorgeous, we were with each other for nearly 11 months and she finished it 2 months ago, we actually broke up 2 months before that and i was happy with the decision that time but she came running back.

Anyway she was young, its her last year in college and she wants to be free, i dont blame her, i was her 3rd boyfriend. When i was her age i didnt want a girlfriend coz i was having fun being single.

I took it hard for the first week after breaking up but then i just started hitting the gym, applied to go back studying, moved out of my home town and went to the city where all my mates are, started meeting other women etc.. All this change actually annoyed her and made her jealous but i told her we needed space so its being a month since NC.

I was gonna contact her for her birthday next week but now im not gonna bother, i would like to be on talking terms with her in the future but thats because we are from a small town and i dont want it to ber awkward if i go out drinking there.

Ill be honest though, there is not a day that goes by that i dont think about her but it does get better with time!

Thanks for the replies guys. Would love to get a female's perspective

She's sworn to me that there's nobody else and she doesn't have feelings for anyone else. She says she wants time on her own and totally doesn't want a relationship with anyone at the moment. She said she'd tell me if there was someone else and she's always been 100% true with me (which she has to be fair) and she would be if there was someone else, but there isn't. She just doesn't have the feelings for me anymore, wishes she did, but she doesn't. So I don't know. What I do know though is it is a guaranteed fact she'll start seeing other guys now, even if it is not as a proper relationship, and although I am not feeling totally devastated now, as I was when we broke up last October time, I would still be really hurt if she started pulling other guys etc. which of course she will. So I'd rather not know...

It was the same with me.

Everything was great with my ex and myself up untill the last month, i started acting jealous and asking questions the whole time (which is not like me at all, in fact she used to give out to me for not getting jealous when she talked to other lads, i told her i have no reason to get jealous, its me you are with not them). Without sounding big headed i had many alpha male traits..

Anyway i know for a fact that another guy was not the reason for out breakup, she was young thats all, my ex started meeting some other guy a month after we broke up and it bothered me for only one day and thats it..

Everything happens for a reason i believe, the girls that come back to you are the ones that realize on their own that they miss you, not because you "convinced" them.

The best thing you can do now is drop her completly out of your life, if she is going to be attracted to you again its because you are not obsessed with her. Realize that shes just another woman, there are plently more out there.

I dropped completely out of my ex's life and recently she has being trying to find out what im up to etc... Curiousty is a very powerfull feeling in us humans !

Move on from her. She's way too young for you and you need to find someone that's more your age and compatibility.

Thanks for the replies guys. Would love to get a female's perspective

 

She's sworn to me that there's nobody else and she doesn't have feelings for anyone else. She says she wants time on her own and totally doesn't want a relationship with anyone at the moment. She said she'd tell me if there was someone else and she's always been 100% true with me (which she has to be fair) and she would be if there was someone else, but there isn't. She just doesn't have the feelings for me anymore, wishes she did, but she doesn't. So I don't know. What I do know though is it is a guaranteed fact she'll start seeing other guys now, even if it is not as a proper relationship, and although I am not feeling totally devastated now, as I was when we broke up last October time, I would still be really hurt if she started pulling other guys etc. which of course she will. So I'd rather not know...

Ok, here's my perspective. I think she's lying about not having someone else, it doesn't happen that way with most women. She probably has someone, or have developed interest on someone else. Most women tend to lose interest with their current partners as soon as they develop interest with another guy. There's no such thing as time on her own, I'm sure she doesn't believe that crap herself.