Anyone here had a four month relationship breakup?

Things were VERY intense from the start.

Four months later it was over.

Its is taking me forever to get over this one.

FAR LONGER than my previous two relationships which were 1.5-2 years long..

is this normal?

Donza, A big yes from me.

A very recent break up of a relationship for me that only lasted 4 months also. But the time I spent with her were the most memorable, exciting and passionate times of

my life. We clicked immedetiately, had so much in common, everthing to me was like a dream, had to keep telling myself that yes you do deserver this, enjoy it make the most of it!

I never wanted it to end, I fell for her big time in no time at all, like I had never felt before. I really did try not to get carried away however, Ive learned that from the past, but after a couple months it became clear to her that my feelings were stong. I did everything I could to maker her happy.

Alas pretty much out of the blue, she ended it (only a couple of weeks ago now), Saying that she just didnt feel the same strong feelings as I obviously had. I was

devasted, stunned, just didnt see it coming. As far as I felt, she was happy to.

I look back now and think maybe if I had continue to play it cool, that things may have been different. But I cannot doubt myself, I just went with my feelings and never thought that it wouldnt be enough for her. Now she doesnt even want to know me any more, she has become completely cold to me, so hard to take.

Sorry I have ranted a bit! But yes from me. It will also take a long time to get over and comes to terms with this one, far more than any other time Why cant love it be simple!

A friend of mine mentioned this quote to me, which I found very apt.

"The candle that burns twice as bright, burns for half as long"

Bosiel

I'm really hoping that this is normal yes. I also have been in a 4 month relationship, my first, and it was such a long time coming that I loved every minute of it. Now it's 2 months later and i'm still not over it.

I guess some people can have such an affect on you that even a small amount of time spent with them can embed itself deeply within you.

In most relationships the first few months are when you begin to fall for someone and chemicals kick in and make you think this person is amazing in every way. A little further down the line you start to see them in a more realistic light, and decide whether you want to stick it out as a serious relationship. If someone broke up with you before you ever got to the reality kicking in stage, then I guess youre still going to be seeing them as a perfect fantasy. Mostly.

If someone broke up with you before you ever got to the reality kicking in stage, then I guess youre still going to be seeing them as a perfect fantasy.

 

Couldn't agree more Spind.

Some relationships begin with a bang...there's sparks butterflies and electricity you both buzz on. When you feel something like that it can be the best feeling you've ever had and naturally you believe something this good will last. Then poof it goes up in a cloud of smoke usually right at what feels like the beginning, just as things are getting started. It takes a while to let go of that was all the time you had, that was all you were going to share and get to know of that person and you'll feel like there was so much more you wanted to do and need. There was very little time for you to see flaws in the other person and very little time for you to see it coming to an end or for the relationship spark to fizzle out. Probably there was no arguments or problems that early on either...which makes it all harder because to you that 4 months might possibly have been perfect and untainted...which makes things alot harder to move on from. But you will, in time

Nights is right.

I too had a blazing 4 month relationship. But to me it was a long-term thing and I took it slowly, my ex didn't want that, she let herself get carried away.

Then she got into the 'Do I want to be with this person' and she told herself 'No'. Her excuse was that I wasn't into her like she was into me and eventually that she couldn't give me the love I 'wanted'.

I actually believe that these sort of relationships leave you with more questions than answers and are some of the hardest to get over.

Don't worry though, its taken me 4 months and I'm nearly there. And you'll get there eventually too!

Best of luck,

Reactor

i was a 5.5mo breakup. i had dated guys for longer before. i had dated guys i felt that i was in love with before. but this guy from the very beginning was different for me. i alllowed myself to love him, allowed him to love me. shared, compromised-- all the stuff i'd never done but always wanted to. then suddenly, something happened and i wasn't worth the wait for him anymore.

Yes, before my current relationship I was with someone for 4 months. I was basically his rebound a month after he ended a 3.5 year relationship and I didn't know it at the time. I was really in to him and for a while things were looking great. I was pretty bummed for a month (a long time for me)

Though I was hurt I'm glad and thankful he let me go, he wasn't right for me. By not wasting anymore of my time he let me move on and meet a man who was a much better fit for me

I think ending a relationship after 4-5 months is difficult because it feels like you didn't give it a fair shot just yet and like you're falling for the person.

In most relationships the first few months are when you begin to fall for someone and chemicals kick in and make you think this person is amazing in every way. A little further down the line you start to see them in a more realistic light, and decide whether you want to stick it out as a serious relationship. If someone broke up with you before you ever got to the reality kicking in stage, then I guess youre still going to be seeing them as a perfect fantasy. Mostly.

spinderella - that is the most lucid explanation of the short relationship wistfulness that I've heard. Makes total sense!!! i dated a few men for years, and when things ended, I knew why. I'm having trouble getting over a four month relationship too, and it was JUST getting to the point where reality was coming in. I was seeing how we weren't compatible, but the romantic part and illusion was still there, and so when things ended, and it wasn't exactly clear why, I'm having trouble moving on. Doesn't help that he's kind of a boundary pusher and wouldn't let me process things at my own speed.

4 months here, too, and I could not agree with you guys more. I had more fun, felt more love and passion, and more happiness than the 5 year relationship I had been in previously. The worst part is all the untapped potential that never realizes itself when these whirlwind romances end. And the love that you have no idea where to put once it's over. My relationship ended calmly, but confusingly. I'm still trying to figure out what came over me that I got caught up so intensely in it. We were on the same page from the get-go, totally bonkers for each other. Then three weeks ago, he just up and ended it. Its like the whole time we were at this fever pitch that just burnt itself out or something. Those are the ones you remember. Those are the ones that blindside you and then stick with you always.

13 years ago (when I was only 16) I dated a guy for about 3-5 months (can't remember exactly how long) it wasn't even my longest relationship at the time and until my ex (together 3 yrs) left me recently this relationship break up 13 years ago was the worst pain I"ve ever gone thru. We only dated a short time but we were still in the "honeymoon stage" when he left me and everything had been perfect. To this day this guy was the best boyfriend I ever had. He was sweet, attentive, loyal and so much fun. He left me because he was older (19) and wanted to get married. I was no where near that place in my life at age 16. Two months after he left me he was engaged to someone else and I was devastated!! to this day if he was still around (he passed away) I would still want to date him! It took me YEARS to get over him. Crazy isn't it. I think that those intense short relationships are sometimes hardest to get over because everything is so perfect and wonderful when you are dating and when it ends its like you are going thru withdrawal symptoms from a drug.

You haven't been together long enough to lose the excitement or for things to become monotonous. Also both parties are still trying their hardest to hide their flaws and give 100% to the relationship. So, yes, I can see why it is hard for you to get over.

Hi I recently (2wks ago) broke it off with the most wonderful man i have ever known. We only dated for 3.5mths. I broke it off because i did not feel an emotional connection with him, i was falling for him and i dont think he was for me. We could have worked thru it i suppose, but by the time i had got to tell him how i felt i was drunk, it all came out wrong, and next minute he was gone. (big mistake my part). Previous relationships for me were never shorter than 3 years. My heart aches for him, everyday i pine for him to come back to me, i even find myself talking out loud and saying "Will **** come back to me?" (pretty sad i know). i made a big mistake and now i am paying for it. When someone comes into our lives, they can touch us in a way that we didnt even see, and we dont notice it untill they are gone. is it normal to feel this way you ask Donza .... absolutely. There is no time constraint on feelings... we can not dictate when they start and stop. Don't think that you should not be feeling this way just because you were with them a short period of time.

Yes, before my current relationship I was with someone for 4 months. I was basically his rebound a month after he ended a 3.5 year relationship and I didn't know it at the time. I was really in to him and for a while things were looking great. I was pretty bummed for a month (a long time for me)

 

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I think Allina might have used the magic word; "rebound". for the other posters of this thread, were your lovers coming out of another relationship when you hooked up?

 

the 3-5 month period of intensity is textbook rebound time (RT). where the rebounder channels all of her/his affection, attention and sexual drive into a new person, with only a superficial regard for long term compatibility.

 

just my two cents: but these people sound like evil rebounders to me.

Been just short of two months for me since my 4month r/s. Still finding it the hardest relationship ever to move on from. Still so longing for her, still mixed up from why it didnt work out. Its like I am coming off the most amazing high of my life, a drug I can no longer have.

Things were VERY intense from the start.

 

Four months later it was over.

 

Its is taking me forever to get over this one.

 

FAR LONGER than my previous two relationships which were 1.5-2 years long..

 

is this normal?

Hey I am with you on this, mine was 7months but intense mainly down to him going so fast and so full on.

Its now 10-12wks on since split and am doing fine. You'll get there but I think it is normal to feel the way you do, I certainly was devastated when he left me.

Take care

It surprises me the amount of girls this happens to.

I'm a guy and have only ever had 4 month relationships.

Each and every time felt great, but its only the most recent that was the best. We got on from the word go, it was insane.

However, after a while, she simply decided that she didnt want a relationship.

I dont really have much to add to what you guys have already said, other than, considering I seem to be the only one with multiple of these, could there really be something wrong with what I'm doing?

This time around, I actually took it easy, but eventually was so hooked in; every thought I had of her made me feel happy, every moment spent with her left me feeling great.

Its only since I saw her kissing someone else (after she "ended" it) that all the pain rushed in at once. I still felt I had a good chance with her.

Cest la vie at the end of the day, I guess I'll now spend the next year getting over her and the same thing happening after that! Great times

Things were VERY intense from the start.

 

Four months later it was over.

 

Its is taking me forever to get over this one.

 

FAR LONGER than my previous two relationships which were 1.5-2 years long..

 

is this normal?

all i can say is..oh yes..my relationship was extremely intense and it will affect me for...........well..maybe the rest of my life..