My Gf Has To Choose Over Me And Her Ex

This isnt my first post on this sistuation i had a recent post on the thread (Not Sure Of My Gf) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t124593/ << thats the direct link to it.

My gf is getting on my neves all of a sudden her ex from 8 months ago just came out ot the damn blue and started tlking about them getting backtogether, im highly upset becuz like i said in my first post i been there thru everything over the last 8 months and he all of a sudden trys to come in and just take his place back, talking about he was having problems with his family, trying to get sympathy for it.

Im im mad becuz i feel that she shouldnt have gotten into a committed relationship if she knew she wasnt over him, but she says she thought she didnt have any feelings for him. So me and her have been dating for 8 months and are very very much in love.

But all of a sudden he comes out of the blue and wants his spot back, and now shes talking about she cant deal with this and that she is depressed over this sistuation its not my fault if its anyones fault its hers and her ex. I made sure i was over my ex before i got into a committed relationship with someone else. Because i dont feel like a innocent person should get hurt becuz of my stupidty and all that.

So i threw the bait out there and i was like screw her becuz i've went thru all of this once before and i told her forget her and i said u can go back to your ex and get the hell out my life becuz im innocent i dont deserve any of this. And she was like no that she didnt want him back and she wanted to be with me, now shes all confused becuz she changed her mind nd said she dunno. Can anyone give me any kinda advice what so ever?

she knew about my past ex and i always knew about hers and i swore i was over mines and she swore she was over hers. When my past ex came back i turned her down because i just didnt have feelings for her anymore.

She use to always say promise me you wont hurt me becuz shes been thru enuff and i was like ok i promise.

Me and her was friends for about 4 years and she kinda use to cheat on her ex with me becuz we had feelings for eachother, it would be like i love you nd i love u too.

Me and her both cheated on our exs with eachother and we both did it for the same reason and its becuz we didnt think we was gettin treated fairly by them. Im really trynna be nice here, i mean me and her was best best best friends before we hooked up we was always there foreachother no matter what happened.

Im not new to this becuz i went thru thsi exact same thing with my ex, its just that i really dont know what i should do, i feel like i should just chill and let this play out.

And i get tired of all dat crying she does, she cries when shes on the phone with me the entire while. And then she said she crys when they are talking. And she says stuff like (WHY ME) (WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THRU THIS).

AT FIRST I TOLD HER EVEN U STOP TALKING TO YOUR EX OR WERE DONE AND SHE CRIED CRIED CRIED AND SHE WAS LIKE OK, AND THEN SHE GOES BACK AND SAYS SHE DOESNT KNOW IF SHE CAN DO THAT. I WANT SO BAD SO BADLY TO BE LIKE SCREW YOU AND JUST THROW HER AT HER EX AND JUST TURN MY BACK AND WALKAWAY.

But me and her had something so so special its kinda hard to jus stop talking to her, becuz it doesnt hurt me to be friends with her.

She still tells me she loves me but she doenst tell him that she loves him, <<but thats not doing me no good.

I dunno what to do becuz me and her was best best friends when i had problems she helped and vica versa, well just fell in love, so i dunno what to do becuz we had more than just a relationship we also was bestfriends. Is it possible that maybes shes really really jus confused?

If she was very, very much in love with you, she would not be confused about her ex.

I wouldn't plan on a future with her, to be blunt with you.

Think about this: both of you cheated. Now you're reaping what you sow. Think of how your exes felt when this was going on. I'm surprised your exes have so little dignity to want you guys back, they must be desperate, but I'd rather be desperate than be with someone who cheated on me before.

Thanks for the reply

She says she thought she was over her ex, but when she talk to him that all her feelings came back, she said she kinda loves him still, but is in love with me, nd im like Its Love Vs Kinda Love "come on"

So i tried and tried and i gave up and told her just to be with him, but she had a PANIC ATTACK, i mean she use to have them all the time when she got really depressed, and i know about her medical history with those attacks, i mean it doesnt even hurt me to be friends with her but i think i should just focus on myself, but u just dont leave real friends hangin like that becuz at one time we was friends. Best Friends.

I dont know should i just tell her even we go back together and all of this ends, last time i did that she gave me a yes answer but then got confused and took it back.

For god sakes he asked her was she still a virgin and then asked her to take him back, and the only damn thing he has been talking to her was really about sex sex sex, hes just using her. So how do i just cut of contact with someone who has high stress levels. Bassically she has nervous break downs really easy. So i dunno what to do but i cant take this anymore.

I shouldnt be goin thru pain becuz of somebody who showed up after 8 months, 8 freakin months all of a sudden tlkin about he loves her. "You can look at any other post in this website and people got ex's that atlest got intouch with them 30 or 40 times in 8 months, so its whatever, im trying not to her her but im hurtin myself trynna save her.

WiseOne....make the decision easy for her. Dump her.

Never play 2nd fiddle to anyone and any woman you have to fight for who has feelings for someone else isn't worth it. Because if you have to fight for her once, you'll have to fight for her the rest of your life when she becomes "confused".

Thanks, well i guess tonight is the night that i end all of this.

It sounds like it's the best option. Despite being a very hard one to take.

It's best to be civil about it. Let us know how it goes.

Thanks, well i guess tonight is the night that i end all of this.

you are only 17? well, congratulations because i'm older and yet you have more sense than i do.

i think that this is too much. in my opinion, you cannot be romantically "in love" with two people at the same time simply because love entails and requires so much that it's almost impossible to pay loyalties to two masters, as they say.

you guys are all young and relationships, especially at this age, come with lots and lots of drama, but it is up to you to decide that you have had enough.

if this girl really loved you, she wouldn't be saying that she "kind of loves" her exbf, and she shouldn't even be talking to him--or anyone else--who just causes more drama and more chaos.

i think that you answered your own question here:

i feel like i should just chill and let this play out.

you should tell her you can't and won't deal with this ridiculousness and that you are going to step back and leave her alone until she is mature enough to make decisions.

i'd say that you should just throw in the towel, go about your business as best you can, and see what happens next.

Thanks guys. but with me being "The Coach" see no matter what i always win, even with her or without her. And whats weird is it doesnt hurt me to talk to her, because im still getting all the props that a bf gets. Actually i heard them argueing on her cell phone speakerphone because everytime i call she gets off the phone with me.

See its a diffrence alot of u cant talk with your ex, and i was like that with my past ex. And shes 19 going on 20.

So im not sweating it people i really do think sometimes people get confused, because i went thru it before. So i know how shes feeling. But i think we need to go with Restricted Nc. Not Full NC

So therefore they have no room.....To do this to the coach.

Thanks Guys for the help

Hope all goes well!