Told my wife I don't want her no more last night

She cheated with someone who was supposed to be my friend for three months, the whole summer last year. She's been trying to be remorseful but I don't want to deal with her no more. I layed it out on her last night. Told her about my resentment, how my anger is not subsiding and how she messed up everything, to how she treated me shortly after I found out about her and that bastard. Told her that sex with her is disgusting and that it reminds me of her affair. She told me she was very sorry for doing this to me and that she hopes I let her continue showing me that she will put me first. I said no she's of no value to me and I will divorce her. I left her in the bed to cry and slept downstairs. I ignored her all day today.

I'm mad, the end.

Good for you.

Get rid of her.

Sometimes no matter what, an A is a dealbreaker.

It seems that is the case with you.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Stupid people don't realize how much As screw up the non-participating spouse.

Seriously, my H told me to "get over it." what the Hell does he know about it?

Try looking into EMDR to get past the imagery and physical symptoms. It is a miracle. It took the first episodes of my husband's cheating from a '10' down to a '3' or '4.'

Don't let what she did infect any other good relationships that you might be able to have.

She cheated with someone who was supposed to be my friend for three months, the whole summer last year. She's been trying to be remorseful but I don't want to deal with her no more. I layed it out on her last night. Told her about my resentment, how my anger is not subsiding and how she messed up everything, to how she treated me shortly after I found out about her and that bastard. Told her that sex with her is disgusting and that it reminds me of her affair. She told me she was very sorry for doing this to me and that she hopes I let her continue showing me that she will put me first. I said no she's of no value to me and I will divorce her. I left her in the bed to cry and slept downstairs. I ignored her all day today.

 

I'm mad, the end.

You tried at least. I don't think I'd be able to get past that either, sounds like you did the right thing.

rob is right, you gave it a hell of a shot, much more than she deserved. it didn't work out, time to move on. good luck

Thanks you guys. This is so hard and I'm so mad.

I came home from work today and I could barely sit down to rest when she sees me and starts begging and screaming at me, as if that's going to change my mind, which is what I said to her. I told her I tried to deal with this but I didn't have any strength left to put up with it. I will no longer accept that she and that vermin ****ed me over.

This betrayal is just too great for me. I did a lot for her and she barely had to lift a damn finger. And that idiot was the closest thing I had to a brother. When I confronted him he, like my wife, was evil. Talking about how she had feelings for him and all that other bull****.

I hate the way I'm living. But all this will change. My daughter needs a happy father and I cannot be happy being with her mother.

She cheated with someone who was supposed to be my friend for three months, the whole summer last year. She's been trying to be remorseful but I don't want to deal with her no more. I layed it out on her last night. Told her about my resentment, how my anger is not subsiding and how she messed up everything, to how she treated me shortly after I found out about her and that bastard. Told her that sex with her is disgusting and that it reminds me of her affair. She told me she was very sorry for doing this to me and that she hopes I let her continue showing me that she will put me first. I said no she's of no value to me and I will divorce her. I left her in the bed to cry and slept downstairs. I ignored her all day today.

 

I'm mad, the end.

Hey there,

I can see that you are very angry right now and have every right to be.

You didn't say how long you guys are married, or how old you guys are.

Just my opinion here but Look at it this way.

If you hadn't found out about the affair you would probably still love her. Is that correct?

So you found out about the affair and now you want to just get rid of her, I would assume mainly because you have difficulty accepting that she had sex with another man.

I see the bigger problem is that your friend betrayed you. Your wife should have been off limits for him but he went for her anyway. That's no friend, and if anybody should be blamed it starts with him.

You stated in your last post that he was like a brother.

Well could it be that you and your friend are so similar in many ways that your wife was attracted to him as much as to you?

There was a time when you loved this woman with all your heart, and you probably could love her again the same way if you can get past this.

Look at it this way:

People are nothing more than the human animal and were never created to be monogamous. Being attracted and flirting with the opposite sex is natural. What sets us apart is being able to control our emotions. In this case your wife lost hers.

I'm certain she has learned a lot by this and if you give her another chance she will most likely never roam again.

If you take her back you may be a very happy man for it.

Hey there,

 

I can see that you are very angry right now and have every right to be.

 

You didn't say how long you guys are married, or how old you guys are.

Hey Cody, me and my wife are both 29 and we've been married for 7 years.

Just my opinion here but Look at it this way.

 

If you hadn't found out about the affair you would probably still love her. Is that correct?

Yes I would still probably love her.

So you found out about the affair and now you want to just get rid of her, I would assume mainly because you have difficulty accepting that she had sex with another man.

Yes and not just any man, it was with someone I knew and had love for also.

I've tried to deal with this for a considerable amount of time and I'm sorry to say that I've reached my limit.

I see the bigger problem is that your friend betrayed you. Your wife should have been off limits for him but he went for her anyway. That's no friend, and if anybody should be blamed it starts with him.

 

You stated in your last post that he was like a brother.

 

Well could it be that you and your friend are so similar in many ways that your wife was attracted to him as much as to you?

You stated a good question. We WERE similar in a lot of ways. And I don't care if she saw him as fine or not, she and him should've never done this to me. He knew when dated her and married her that she was off-limits and she knew I do not take cheating in a good light.

There was a time when you loved this woman with all your heart, and you probably could love her again the same way if you can get past this.

See that's where the problem lies. I cannot get past this by being with her. I loved her a lot and thought our bond was so freaking strong, but come to find out it's all a lie.

Look at it this way:

 

People are nothing more than the human animal and were never created to be monogamous. Being attracted and flirting with the opposite sex is natural. What sets us apart is being able to control our emotions. In this case your wife lost hers.

I'm certain she has learned a lot by this and if you give her another chance she will most likely never roam again.

 

If you take her back you may be a very happy man for it.

I see attractive women everyday. At work, when I jog, or wherever I go. But I am an adult and I know how to control my emotions and I loved my wife and him, as a brother. If I can do the same thing why couldn't they do it? I'm pretty sure she has learned a lot last year when she experienced him, but I can't handle that anymore. Can't handle knowing she feels so different when I penetrate her. Just can't do it. I'm just going to be there for my little one and be single for a while. I don't regret us having our beautiful daughter but this marriage is not for me.

I went to visit my mother and daughter today (she's staying at my moms for a while). As blunt and hard as she is, she simply said she'll support whatever decision I make.

My wife was trying to get big in my face asking me was I messing around with some other woman. Boy did I shut her ass down and told her to never get in my face like that again. I said if I was messing with someone she'll never find out. She knows with the type of position I have and my considerable looks I can pull another woman. She knows she's about to lose me and everything else and is jealous. To be honest I kinda like how she's feeling right now. Maybe I'll exploit those feelings so she can feel even lower about herself. Like she did me when I found out.

Notspoken, the best revenge is to live well. Don't give her the excuse to justify it to everyone that he break up of your marriage was also due to your cheating as well.

If she asked you again if you're cheating, tell her:

"I have every right to cheat now that you have broken our vows, but unlike you, I am not a cheater and a slut. I am the faithful type and will someday make some woman very happy. Good luck to you finding a faithful husband someday while carrying the guilt. Don't EVER accused me of being you, I don't belong to that low category!."

Notspoken, the best revenge is to live well. Don't give her the excuse to justify it to everyone that he break up of your marriage was also due to your cheating as well.

 

If she asked you again if you're cheating, tell her:

 

"I have every right to cheat now that you have broken our vows, but unlike you, I am not a cheater and a slut. I am the faithful type and will someday make some woman very happy. Good luck to you finding a faithful husband someday while carrying the guilt. Don't EVER accused me of being you, I don't belong to that low category!."

Thanks. I'm burned out.

Hugs.:bunny:

Hey keep in mind that getting over cheating could take as long as getting over a broken heart. If you would want to try to save your marriage, you should think of that. It takes a while of you two starting over. But if your wife didnt tell you exactly what made her cheat, and was only remorseful initially that she got caught, then I agree with you, and you should leave her in the dust.

Please divorce that woman and take care of your daughter.

Hugs.:bunny:

Do these bunnies ever stop bouncing?

Hey there,

I completely and totally understand how you feel right now. My husband had only an EA with my best friend, it hurts when two people you care about f*ck you over, whether it's just an emotional or a physical affair.

As much as it would suck to end your marriage, it seems you are totally unhappy trying to stay with her, and that's not fair to your or your little one. You need to move on without your wife and live your life the way you see fit.

You told your wife your position, you've said what needed to be said and leave it at that. Tell her that she's not going to change your mind, so she needs to accept it.

*hugs*

And no, I don't think the bunnies stop

She woke me up to apologize this morning. She said with everthing she's done she'd understand if I was seeing someone else, but would be hurt also. I said I will never do what she's done to me.

We ended up having rough sex. When we were finished I layed on top of her for a few moments to cool down, then started to get up. She held me and asked me what was that. I didn't answer her. We kissed for a few moments then ended up going for another round.

I think I was just horny and I took it out on her. I triggered too and that probably was another factor on why I was so rough with her.

Doesn't change anything.

Nuthin' like a good hate ****.

Nuthin' like a good hate ****.

Sort of an itch she scratched. Nothing more, even though she thinks it is.

Stop having sex with her if you are leaving. It is incredibly dishonesy and gives false hope. Pick a direction and stick with it.

Stop having sex with her if you are leaving. It is incredibly dishonesy and gives false hope. Pick a direction and stick with it.

I am picking a direction. I told her it doesn't change anything so I'm not being dishonest with her.

Ever hear the phrase "actions speak louder than words"? DreamingofTigers is right.... she wants to keep your marriage in tact and your having sex with her gives her false hope.

She woke me up to apologize this morning. She said with everthing she's done she'd understand if I was seeing someone else, but would be hurt also. I said I will never do what she's done to me.

 

We ended up having rough sex. When we were finished I layed on top of her for a few moments to cool down, then started to get up. She held me and asked me what was that. I didn't answer her. We kissed for a few moments then ended up going for another round.

 

I think I was just horny and I took it out on her. I triggered too and that probably was another factor on why I was so rough with her.

 

Doesn't change anything.

How rough were you? Like punishing her?

Bottomline is, now you know what you want. And that's OUT. So, stop having ANY kind of sex with your wife and stop giving her hope. Be honest, be clear with her what your intentions are.

I am picking a direction. I told her it doesn't change anything so I'm not being dishonest with her.

If your wife went and slept with her boyfriend and said that it meant nothing then that wouldn't be honest, right?

And it would send a terrible message.

It is also pretty damn hurtful to sleep with someone and then tell them "that's it." My husband pulled that crap with me.

She may have hurt you really really badly, but that doesn't give you the right to do that back.