Before I break nc

Sorry I have to write here before I break nc . I can't believe the man I wanted to Marry and have children with will have all that , but not with me . He will fall in love with someone else and not fall out of love like he did with me. I feel like an ugly loser . What is wrong with me ? Why will the other girl be better ?? I never cheated and always looked after him . I just want him to fall in love with me again .

Did you break up and then he met this other girl?

I think it's better to leave him be, he will probably see you still care and be turned off to talking to you as he now has someone is over you. Not trying to be harsh but you'll feel worse talking to him then not and letting yourself move on.

You're not ugly or a loser, just not right for him.

Sorry I have to write here before I break nc . I can't believe the man I wanted to Marry and have children with will have all that , but not with me . He will fall in love with someone else and not fall out of love like he did with me. I feel like an ugly loser . What is wrong with me ? Why will the other girl be better ?? I never cheated and always looked after him . I just want him to fall in love with me again .

I would recommend not breaking NC but that is just me. We have all broken it and it never does any good.

It's a hard thing to understand. I certainly don't understand it but you can't think about the things that weren't, you must think about the great things ahead.

You aren't an ugly loser and there is nothing wrong with you. She might not be better either but something inside of him sent him away. It isn't your fault.

You must move on. You will be a much better person because of this. You deserve much better as well.

Did you break up and then he met this other girl?

I think it's better to leave him be, he will probably see you still care and be turned off to talking to you as he now has someone is over you. Not trying to be harsh but you'll feel worse talking to him then not and letting yourself move on.

You're not ugly or a loser, just not right for him.

Thank you. Sorry wasn't really clear , no idea he has a girlfriend or not , but my gut tells me he is seeing someone and of course he will one day. It just hurts that she will be better than me and they will stay together.Sigh.

I would recommend not breaking NC but that is just me. We have all broken it and it never does any good.

 

It's a hard thing to understand. I certainly don't understand it but you can't think about the things that weren't, you must think about the great things ahead.

 

You aren't an ugly loser and there is nothing wrong with you. She might not be better either but something inside of him sent him away. It isn't your fault.

 

You must move on. You will be a much better person because of this. You deserve much better as well.

\\

Thank you for your message.I will do nc no matter how it is.

Sweetie - all these questions are just speculation. It's totally normal to think these things and wonder. It's totally normal to look back in retrospect every day and have a new revelation.

The reality is that he MIGHT fall in love with someone else.

He MIGHT get married and have children.

And guess what? He MIGHT never find anyone else again and live the rest of his life wishing he had never left you.

You can't predict life. You are never going to know what could happen.

My point is - it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter what he's doing or who he's with.

My best friend taught me that when I was going through the same thing - asking the same questions that you are.

IT DOESN'T MATTER!

There is nothing wrong with you - and no girl will EVER be 'better'.

He will NEVER have what you had again. Never. Your relationship was unique - and you can never replace it.

You have to take time out and work on yourself. Think about what YOU want from life.

Consciously stop your mind from thinking about him - and instead think about you.

Think about your ambitions - the things that you want from life, and how to get them.

You have to stay strong and keep NC.

Your heart is breaking for a reason - you will fall in love again, with the right person. For the right reasons, at the right time. And all of this will make sense.

I understand how much this hurts you - but this is all part of the process of healing.

Sending you lots of love

x x x

Same questions bother me a lot, I always ask myself...what if he finds someone really really amazing and looks back and thinks of me as an ugly person in his past (exactly what he did to his ex when he met me), he called her all sorts of names, and I'm so hurt that he is doing the same to me..

I keep obsessing over the fact that his life without me will be soooo much better and I will be a big fat mistake from his past...its so upsetting and scary...but like SugarLily says...its all a big MIGHT! It might happen, It might not! And why should we worry about things that we cannot control? It doesnt serve any purpose except to hurt us more...So I decided to focus on what I can control which is ME!

- I have taken the responsibility for my state of mind...I am seeing a counsellor and reading books to help me cope with my situation and become more positive

- I have taken the responsbility to focus on things I neglected for 4 years because of my relationship...last week I went to visit my cousin whom I havent seen in 8 years..I met her and my nephew and felt really good. And I am going to visit my sisters in Toronto in November (I havent seen them in 3 years because I spent all my holidays with my boyfriend). My mum will also join us.

- I have taken the responsbility to use my free time to learn something new...I have enrolled in Bollywood fitness classes and trying something new.

I know that these are not major steps..but these baby steps will help me...day by day...

Yes, he might go and have a wonderful life after me, but guess what! So will I!

Its very very hard, but you have to infuse yourself with positivity, dont worry about him, worry about you...coz you are precious and beautiful, dont let these thoughts make you feel otherwise.

I have this quote for you:

For growing trees are strengthened, if they can withstand the storm...

And the sharpness of the chisel, gave marble its grace and form...

So whenever we feel that everything is going wrong...

It is God's way to make our spirits strong...

xxxx

PS: Sugarlily, I am going to print out your post coz I know your words will make me feel better when I next go on the 'might' spree....

Sweetie - all these questions are just speculation. It's totally normal to think these things and wonder. It's totally normal to look back in retrospect every day and have a new revelation.

 

The reality is that he MIGHT fall in love with someone else.

 

He MIGHT get married and have children.

 

And guess what? He MIGHT never find anyone else again and live the rest of his life wishing he had never left you.

 

You can't predict life. You are never going to know what could happen.

 

My point is - it doesn't matter.

 

It doesn't matter what he's doing or who he's with.

 

My best friend taught me that when I was going through the same thing - asking the same questions that you are.

 

IT DOESN'T MATTER!

 

There is nothing wrong with you - and no girl will EVER be 'better'.

 

He will NEVER have what you had again. Never. Your relationship was unique - and you can never replace it.

 

You have to take time out and work on yourself. Think about what YOU want from life.

 

Consciously stop your mind from thinking about him - and instead think about you.

 

Think about your ambitions - the things that you want from life, and how to get them.

 

You have to stay strong and keep NC.

 

Your heart is breaking for a reason - you will fall in love again, with the right person. For the right reasons, at the right time. And all of this will make sense.

 

I understand how much this hurts you - but this is all part of the process of healing.

 

Sending you lots of love

 

x x x

Ok, so I was writing a new journal post about this and I came across your post. Therefore, I'm now writing something new and have totally plagiarized your writing! Naw, not really - I'm just going to link this post in my journal because it's totally ace.

Sorry I have to write here before I break nc . I can't believe the man I wanted to Marry and have children with will have all that , but not with me . He will fall in love with someone else and not fall out of love like he did with me. I feel like an ugly loser . What is wrong with me ? Why will the other girl be better ?? I never cheated and always looked after him . I just want him to fall in love with me again .

I did it this weekend, I beg you not to! I stupidly took the advice of a female friend whose advice I knew would be poor! I guess sometimes we ask for advice from those whom we know are going to give us the answer we want to hear. Well I was out of the country at the time I sent it on Facebook from a computer, but as soon as I got back I received a reply on my phone. It was NOT what I was expecting or hoping for, no 'I miss you' or 'I love you' or 'I am thinking about you alot', just crappy small talk. But hey, as many at LS will tell you, unless the reply says 'I want to get back together with you', its not worth anything. Strangely when I got back my ex tried to call me a couple of times (which was definitely unusual since she lives in Spain and me in England) , I tried to call her back etc etc but we never managed to speak. I sent another message on Facebook to see if everything is ok and I have had no reply. So.... I have been sat here for the last couple of days wondering what the hell is going on, and I have taken several steps backwards in the process of healing.

Please dont do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Antinko - Thanks

If you do plagarize - i'll happily sue your ass.

I'm writing a book - and everything I post on here is copyrighted.

Love! x