Universal Truths

I'm far from qualified to offer sound advice because I've been all over the place emotionally myself. But for the first time I'm beginning to notice steady gains in my perspective on my own break up. I think there are a couple "universal truths" that we dumpees need to remember, regardless of the specific situation that we find ourselves in.

1. We are not perfect

2. The relationship NEEDED to be over anyway.

To explain the first one: Many dumpees here post about all the MISTAKES they made.... either during the relationship or afterward. Some of you may have felt that you did nothing wrong during the relationship, but made mistakes afterward, and others may feel that you did a lot wrong during the relationship, but managed to walk away cleanly. And then others may feel that they made mistakes during the relationship AND after the break up. But what you've gotta realize is: You are not perfect. You are human, and you're an emotional creature, and you made mistakes. I mean hell, relationships teach you A LOT about yourself and break ups are one of the most emotionally trying experiences you can go through, often comparable to losing someone to death. So cut yourself a break, will you? Your mistakes were part of your life course... your journey toward figuring out what to do and what NOT to do in life. Even if you feel you acted kind of crazy, then just attribute it to a time in your life when you acted kind of crazy, because AT THE TIME you were the type of person who REACTED in the exact way that you did to the specific events that took place... You needed to go through this so that you won't act so crazy in the future!

To explain the second one: Your relationship NEEDED to be over anyway. No, I don't know your situation. But I know that if your ex dumped you, or even if YOU dumped your ex, the relationship needed to be over. If there was cheating involved, it needed to be over. If your ex thought the grass was greener elsewhere, it needed to be over. If your ex was just BORED, it needed to be over (because they werent mature enough to see it or work through it). If your ex felt they couldnt handle the distance if it was an LDR, it needed to be over. If anybody felt that the "spark" was gone, it needed to be over. If they plain didnt love you anymore, it needed to be over. If they dont even know why the hell they broke up with you, IT NEEDED TO BE OVER, BECAUSE YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO IS SURE THAT THEY WANT YOU AND THAT THEY CAN HANDLE EVERYTHING THAT COMES WITH THAT.

I find that remembering these points really helps me... feel free to comment or add your own "universal advice".

Universal truth:

when it comes to human relationships there is no universal truth, everyone is a soliplist when it goes south. And we all engage in sophistry, too. Those are my smart words for the day. Time to start drinking.

And being a soliplist means that you end up making mistakes. Because you're human!

ya just remember it needed to end anyways. to me it needed to end so that i can see that the ex doesnt love me anymore. doesnt care, respect, or trust anymore.

I give the OP an awesome score of 9/10 MegaFonzies. It helped, thank you.