Would you cheat if they weren't putting out?

I was talking to a friend today who said that if a guy is willing to wait for you for over a year, than he's probably getting his lovin' somewhere else. Especially if they are the one who are encouraging the waiting.

I disagree with my friend to an extent (especially since she was referring to my relationship) but I wanted to get different opinions.

So would you ever cheat on your SO if they weren't willing to sleep with you? Even if they were?

Well if they werent putting out, and its something that you consider is very important in a relationship, then I wouldn't bother waiting.

It depends. If he is waiting for it to happen for the first time, then I would wait a reasonable amount of time. If you've done everything and he simply isn't sexual (or AS sexual as I am) then I would definitely move on and find someone else.

There is NO reason to cheat and NOTHING justifies it. You don't like? Leave.

I wouldn't cheat on anyone I loved. Love being the operative word. But chances are I wouldn't cheat anyway. Love for me is a big motivator for faithfulness though.

I would tend to agree with your friend. A guy is probably either getting it somewhere else, really likes masturbating or there is some other extenuating circumstance.

Absolutely not!

If it isn't working out in that department, I'd try to work it out, or leave on decent terms.

Cheating hurts people. It's hurt me too.

I feel the same way. I feel if you don't care or love someone then move on, and don't resort to cheating. In my personal case, my boyfriend has expressed his distaste in people who cheat, flirt or lead others on while in a relationship.

When my friend suggested and tried to convince me he's cheating it took me by surprise. Have any of you been cheated on or cheated on someone and just didn't see it coming?

I would say that sex is an important commodity in a relationship or marriage. Without it, odds are the "relationship" would have never lead up to relationship material or even marriage to begin with. If sex was not involved no man would be willing to entertain the idea of marriage.

If you are hungry and you go to the fridge to look for some food and there is nothing there. What do you do? You go out and get some.

I know a guy that loved a girl emphatically without question. On their honeymoon she told him it had been a really long day and could they wait for later on. Their honeymoon!

It was at that point he realized he just made the biggest mistake of his life.

Cheating when the other partner does not engage? I wouldn't condone it from a moral aspect, but from a practical aspect. Yeah, it is very possible I would.

Do I condone cheating? Absolutely not and if I felt there was a risk of getting cheated on would get out of that relationship immediately.

Having said that however, have I ever cheated? I'd have to admit I have. I would hope to never again but as I never would have thought I'd go there in the first place, I can't say this with all honesty.

The reasons behind it though ... the impression I got from your post is that you haven't yet engaged in sexual activity from your SO. Maybe you want to wait for marriage or for longer, it just doesn't matter. I think for your friend to imply that if your SO isn't getting it from you in that length of time he's getting it elsewhere is not a fair assumption to make. When I did cheat, there were a million other reasons that set up that situation, none of them the reason you stated in your post.

Actually, I'm the one that's willing to have sex, and have even offered for us to take it to that level multiple times. We've engaged in oral sex a few times, but it's the "first time" that he's stressing on waiting for the special moment for.

At his job's Christmas party, he won a free hotel room for a night, and although people were joking around with him getting lucky, he said that he didn't know what he'd do with it. I've offered for us to use it, and I've suggested going out of town for a special romantic getaway, but he keeps saying that he wants our first time to be very special, and a hotel room just sounds cheap and not special enough.

I'm the longest he's ever "waited" for (in high school he waited four months for his long term girlfriend and though that was a long wait) and doesn't want me to hold it against him like she did once they broke up. My friend thinks that because he says I'm special, that he's just giving me a bunch of BS and no guy would truly feel that way. Especially since he had such a horrible experience with his ex. To her, it sounds sketchy, and he wouldn't be this persistent in waiting if he wasn't being satisfied by someone else.

So would you ever cheat on your SO if they weren't willing to sleep with you? Even if they were?

No. A relationship between a man and a woman can grow out to become the most important thing in their lives. And if you jeopardize or sabotage that, then you willingly damage that what is most important to you. And if you're truly in love, then you simply could not hurt the light of your life.

Your friend is putting every guy out there in the same category. Not every guy out there is like that.

I would never go behind a person's back but if we went that long without sex then we would have to discuss things. If they were that unattracted to me then maybe we could split up.

Hell yeah i would!!! you gotta be ****ing kidding me... making someone wait a year?? thats absolutely ridiculous what is the point of that?

No, but I'd be watching a lot of porn lol...

I would say that sex is an important commodity in a relationship or marriage. Without it, odds are the "relationship" would have never lead up to relationship material or even marriage to begin with. If sex was not involved no man would be willing to entertain the idea of marriage.

That's how people think in this generation that SEX has to be everything in a relationship. Now I know a lot of you will say not everything but a major and important part of a relationship. But the truth is it is everything. No sex no relationship.

In the olden days people used to love each other and have sex after marriage. And lived happily ever after. It still happens in many parts of the world. People fall in love and get married and then have sex.

OP, IMO, in your case he either has low to no interest or is emotionally immature

If I wasn't meeting my partner's needs, clearly communicated (unclear on this part for you) and reasonable in scope, as apparently yours are, I'd expect my partner to act in a healthy way and end the relationship.

I've done the cheating thing and it ain't healthy, whether sex is involved or not. Bad mojo.

I don't think he's cheating. If someone is with you for that long and treats you with care and love, I don't think he would cheat, especially if you are the one wanting to take it to the next level. He may be afraid that by having sex he could feel more attached to you and get his heart broken worse if things go sour. Your friend sounds cynical, like anyone would be after a horrible break up. Maybe you could sit him down and really try to talk to him about how you feel and what's really going on with him.

Thanks you guys for all of your opinions. My friend is a huge cynic, and this isn't the first time that she has suggested such a thing to me. She did so before him and I started dating, she just had more evidence to back it up this time (and no, she hasn't met him, and doesn't know anyone else who knows him). Also, she was cheated on last summer apparently, and told me her story while trying to support her theory.

One guy can really ruin it for every other guy out there.