bazool Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 I just want to say that I came here about a year ago thinking I was going mental with panic and all these crazy feelings that I thought would never end. One year later, I am in a secure, trusting and jealousy free relationship with no concerns or obsessions about her past. Im saying this only because I came here today for the first time in months and months for the sake of it and I see the same usernames encouraging these irrational thoughts, insulting the choices of free individuals and basically giving a lot of guys no hope in a struggle that sometimes only they can understand. You WILL get over it. You will see your woman as a human you love. On an even more extreme level, you can even see what choices your lady has made as a beautiful sign of her own independence in a society that allows it. Anyway, point is, the light IS at the end of the tunnel. Best of luck guys. Stay strong.
donnamaybe Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Good for you, and thank you for all the women you come in contact with who have one less "double standard" guy to deal with.
AAlike Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 No doubt about it man. That is also what brought me here and I look back on that time in my life now and am amazed that it even happened - I can't believe that was me. I think the one thing to focus on is that you would not be having such irrational emotional responses if you weren't in love! I always thought that love only "made you crazy" in the movies - holy sh*t was I wrong. and donna, although I'm sure the props are appreciated - it's way, way, WAY more complicated than simply being a "double standard" guy.
donnamaybe Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 and donna, although I'm sure the props are appreciated - it's way, way, WAY more complicated than simply being a "double standard" guy. Then 'splain it to me, AA.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Then 'splain it to me, AA. Men understand sex in a different way. That's why there really isn't a double standard. You can't expect birds to act like monkeys.
donnamaybe Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Men understand sex in a different way. That's why there really isn't a double standard. You can't expect birds to act like monkeys. I wanted AA's explanation, but thanks anyway.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 I wanted AA's explanation, but thanks anyway. Just trying to be helpful. No need to be rude about it.
AAlike Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Then 'splain it to me, AA. sure, you want a cure for cancer as well?
AAlike Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 sure, you want a cure for cancer as well? i'll crack at it when I have some spare time later...but I did want to caveat that I'm not denying that the double standard exists, it most certaintly does - only that the "retroactive jealousy" phenonemon that exists is not necessarily a manifestation of that syndrome. in fact, I'd venture to say that it happens more to guys that DON'T ascribe to that syndrome than those that do.
donnamaybe Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 Just trying to be helpful. No need to be rude about it. Hey, I even said thank you!
donnamaybe Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 i'll crack at it when I have some spare time later...but I did want to caveat that I'm not denying that the double standard exists, it most certaintly does - only that the "retroactive jealousy" phenonemon that exists is not necessarily a manifestation of that syndrome. in fact, I'd venture to say that it happens more to guys that DON'T ascribe to that syndrome than those that do. Oh, gotcha. That happens with gals too sometimes. I've read about it on LS about a gal talking about her guy's ex girlfriend, wondering if he still thinks about her, was she better in bed, etc. etc. etc.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 i'll crack at it when I have some spare time later...but I did want to caveat that I'm not denying that the double standard exists, it most certaintly does - only that the "retroactive jealousy" phenonemon that exists is not necessarily a manifestation of that syndrome. in fact, I'd venture to say that it happens more to guys that DON'T ascribe to that syndrome than those that do. Oh... your right. I was oversimplifying the "double standard"! Good call. I think there are several distinctly different strains of thought that cause Retro Jealousy in men. I'm very interested to hear your take on them. Hey, I even said thank you! Oops. I'm so used to seeing eyerolls after your posts... I assumed sarcasm.
Javelin Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 I just want to say that I came here about a year ago thinking I was going mental with panic and all these crazy feelings that I thought would never end. One year later, I am in a secure, trusting and jealousy free relationship with no concerns or obsessions about her past. Im saying this only because I came here today for the first time in months and months for the sake of it and I see the same usernames encouraging these irrational thoughts, insulting the choices of free individuals and basically giving a lot of guys no hope in a struggle that sometimes only they can understand. You WILL get over it. You will see your woman as a human you love. On an even more extreme level, you can even see what choices your lady has made as a beautiful sign of her own independence in a society that allows it. Anyway, point is, the light IS at the end of the tunnel. Best of luck guys. Stay strong. I remember you and I think I responded to that jealousy thread of yours too! Glad to hear that you picked a path that you're satisfied with.
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