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Is they saying: "you never end up with your first love" true?


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Posted

I'm in quite a dilemma, I've had many serious relationships, but non that matches up to my first relationship. Sometimes I still think about my first boyfriend. Everyone keeps telling me its unrealistic for people to end up with their first love. We have not spoken for over 5 years but I still cannot keep him out of my mind. Is there any hope for me?

Posted

IDK. I don't think that line is true. I think it is what you make of it. My first true love still messages me after 6 years of being apart. But, she cheated on me. So she gets no response. And yet she still messages me. lol. Ridiculous!

Posted

Nothing will match your first relationship because it's a brand-new experience. Expecting any relationship after that to be as intense is unrealistic.

Posted

I don't think that it is always true. Your first love is unique...you can only have one first, however, I think that because most are so young when they first experience love there are many reasons and obstacles to that being our only relationship.

 

I have a special place in my heart for my first..she was my first everything. However, I am also glad for the other loves in my life. They all left me with something.

Posted

I dont think it's true. The first love is hardy to be forgotten, right, but it's just a beautiful souvenir, that all. Cuz you hadn't meet a "person of your life" yet, u r still remember too much about you first. Dont worry, try to enjoy your life, love is important, but anyway, it's just a part of life. Just believe in your self, enjoy your life, you dont need to find love, and love will find you.

Posted

Most of our 'first loves' happen in highschool or shortly after that. People change during those times, a lot. You'll always have a fondness for them, but people grow apart, take different paths, want different things.

 

That is why so very few highschool and college relationships last once those days are over.

Posted
Most of our 'first loves' happen in highschool or shortly after that. People change during those times, a lot.
Funny you mention this. I recently bumped into (figuratively speaking) my first high-school girlfriend. And I could not help but think, "Thank GAWD I didn't end up marrying her!!" :laugh:
Posted
Funny you mention this. I recently bumped into (figuratively speaking) my first high-school girlfriend. And I could not help but think, "Thank GAWD I didn't end up marrying her!!" :laugh:

 

 

Yep!. Years ago, I found out that my first highschool girlfriend turned to drugs. Then became a born again christian and began wearing little house on the prarie clothing around town and preaching to everyone about their sins.

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Posted

Thanks so much guys~ I kinda feel like I should have joined this forum years ago~ hehe.

 

The thing is though I dumped him - I think I've replayed that moment in my head soo many times thinking "What the heck were you thinking" because there was no real reason he gave me for me to end it with him. And I know this might sound stupid, but things were going too well between us. I was 17 then and I thought...I'm too young to settle down, which is probably where things would have been if I never ended things. But yeah.... Now sometimes I feel like he is probably the only guy I can see myself settling down with. Which makes it quite unfair to my current boyfriend and I feel soo guilty always thinking about my ex.

 

I seriously don't know what to do now. =(

Posted

My first love was the one I was engaged to up until recently. I met her when I was 17 and we reconnected when I was 26 after 8 and a half years. I met her in summer camp and after the summer she went back to her country and I went away to college. But every few years we would send each other a letter to see how each other was doing.

 

When we started seeing each other again starting as a LDR then eventually moving in together I realized that she had changed a lot from when I first met her, both good and bad. I changed too, but the true essence of the person you fell in love with very rarely changes. However, it my case it changed drastically, so be careful.

 

I first love is like the first time you had ice cream. You had no idea where it came from but it was delicious. Then someone tells you that you can get it anywhere and there are a thousand different flavors. It may not have been the best ice cream you ever had or will have in the future but you'll always compare it to that first time.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks Dusty....I think that really helps me.... =)

Posted

This is like asking if the weather will be the same tomorrow...NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE.

 

But here is an example of 2 cases:

 

My best friend and brother were each others first true loves he left her she was broken for to be exact 3 years!!! Hoping and wishing to get back togehter with him. He did come back to her, but guess what she fell in love with someone else and now she says she never knew what true love was untill she met her current boyfriend and they have been with each other for years planning to get married and the most in love couple i know.

 

Another friend broke up with her first true love from highschool they were apart for one whole year NO CONTACT both had new relationships. They are now getting married and are expecting their first child.

 

You dont know what life has in store for you, our minds are full of chemicals playing tricks on us we just need to go with the flow and stop wondering because it will eventually drive you insane i have been there i lost my mind for what??? Life is going to happen in its own way i cant change a damn thing

Posted

I wish I could hug you right now. I know where you're coming from. I met my first love when I was 18 and now we're married. We were only together for a short time, then I moved across the country and we stayed in contact through letters and rare phone calls. We saw each other once a year or less than that. There was always something there.. but both had other things going on in our lives. I ended up having children with another man.. and he ended up with a string of bad relationships. We got back together about a year ago when I finally moved back home. Now, we're on the brink of getting a divorce. People change and nostalgia is a seductive liar. Don't miss out on your life because of his memory. I thought about him every day for 6 years, crying myself to sleep some nights because I couldn't shake the thought that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. No one will ever compare to your first love.. I don't think they're supposed to. But don't throw away chances of happiness because you're afraid there might be someone better for you. Maybe someday you two will get back together.. but let it happen on it's own. Don't beat yourself up thinking about it. Everything happens for a reason, though sometimes you're really struggling to find that reason.. :laugh:. Learn to be a whole person without him. You're no good for any relationship if you can't be happy being alone.

 

Good luck.. and though it's hard, keep your chin up. Happiness comes when you least expect it.

Posted

I am going through a situation where I am asking myself almost the same thing. My boyfriend and I just broke up not even 4 days ago... he is my first love. We had been dating for about 5 and a half years...through most of HS and all of college. He's going through some rough spot in his life right now and is yearning for some independence. Anyway, Im in a position where I am hoping and praying that everything will blow over and he will figure out what he needs too and that we can be happy together.

 

Here's the deal...a lot of people are quick to say that first loves wont survive. Well not all of them fall into the "failure" category. I know its rare but my parents are each other's first loves...and they have been happily married for 20+ years. My boyfriends parents are also first loves and have also been married for 20+ years...His mom was actually only 17 when she got married to his father.

 

This is what gives me hope that we can work out...the fact that this DOES happen and that I know of two real cases where first loves made it work and are still happy to this day.

 

I am not saying to hold onto the hope that something will come out of it...I truly feel that there is something remarkably special about your first love..and no one, not even the love of your life (if it ends up not being your first love) will ever take the place of that man. First love is a special kind of love...it's the first time you shared a real special bond with someone else. It's the first person to give you butterflies every time you saw them. He was the first one to make you feel so special and irreplaceable. I think deep down that first loves (whether it works out or not) are meant to be a learning experience...it's supposed to give us a peak into what it's like to be "in love" and to also give us a foundation for comparison with future relationships. You won't ever have what you had with your first love, but that doesn't mean you can't find something great.

 

I do hold onto the hope that my BF and I will get back together and be happier than ever. [You can read my thread if you care to hear my story]. But I am open minded to the concept of this being a permanent arrangement if need be and the lesson I am supposed to obtain from it.

 

I wish you the best of luck and I completely agree with the above comment that happiness does in fact come when you least expect it...(Im with you on waiting for that moment to come...)

 

Good Luck =)

  • Author
Posted

Thanks soo much guys. Danielle I'm holding thumbs for you and am busy searching for your story. Onthebrink thank you very much for your kind words... you sound like a true mother^^ your children are very lucky to have you.

:love::love::love:

Posted

Hi, just wanna share my story...

My ex broke up with me this past June. We had been together for 3 years. I'm 28 and she is 24. She never had a serious relstionship before and neither have I. I had a couple of girlfriends prior to meeting her, but she never really dated other men before me. I was her first...she told me that I would always hold a special place in her heart being that I was her first. She ended it with me because we hardly had time to spend with each other. I'm in my career and I dj on the weekends. She's still in university and works in the evening. But last year I had told her that we would see less of each other and that when she is done with school,we'd move out together. Anuhow...long story short, her parents never made it easy for us to spend time together and with all the pressure to be together, she left...she lost all patients and I now regret not have moving out on my own. I know at my age I should of been moved out already, but I was waiting for the right person to take that step in life with. I had her and I told her I wanted to do this together, and that I would wait for her...but she left anyhow...now I'm broken inside, I miss my baby...I love her so much and for me she is my true first love...it's been over 2 months I didn't see her, I still love her just as much as when I first kissed her...and I probably always will. I just would love to know how she is doing...I miss her so much and I wounder if she'll ever come back to me.

Love is very complicated...yet it shouldn't have to be...

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