Man Settles Down with One Woman and Not Another

Interesting article.

http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=2219&cid=2091&aid=010701

I don't get it. how does being generally interesting and intellectually challenging compare to being a complete psycho? because the article in the beginning seems to suggest that men like women that go nuts from time to time then it switches to some yadda about being intellectually challenging. I don't see how the two are the same thing

Snippets from the article.

Why does a man open up to one woman and explore a relationship with her, and not do that with other women that he might have been close to or physical with? Here’s the simple truth: attraction is largely subconscious.

No it's not. It's instinctive.

We are attracted due to pheromones and the frank and honest natural desire to procreate and perpetuate the species. The fact that more often than not, we don't produce offspring, is largely because we make the conscious choice to not do so. We usually over-ride the ability using 'man-made' means. But the instinct to have a ball, is there, naturally.

Do you have any seemingly “normal” friends who are with a guy or girl who is totally psycho and out of control? A huge part of what attracts people, even in light of “crazy” behavior, is unpredictability. The contrast of ups and downs are unbelievably exciting and attractive to a man.

Yes, but trust me, the novelty does wear off after a while, and the desire to have a normal, calm and dstable person is everyone's dream.

....there's something to learn here about the intense attraction that these women (and men) create when they're unpredictable.

 

Luckily, you can be unpredictable in a healthy and constructive way.

 

If you interact with a man in a way that I call “playfully unpredictable,” it will create intense attraction, and more importantly a positive emotional experience for him, and that will make him want to be with you for the long term.

THis is using normal words in inverted commas to make them look and sound as if they mean "something really special" when in fact, all the author is suggesting, is that you play a type of "mind game".. (see what I did there....? )

What do you think really got them interested in their girlfriends, wives?

No, it wasn’t just her hair, her body, etc.

The most common feature men attributed their attraction and desire to be with a woman in the long-term was a specific quality of her personality.

I met my partner's parents before I met him. When he declared one evening that he found me...."Interesting!" my MiL said - "That's it, now you've snared him. he hates being bored!"

A woman's beauty can attract a man, but it's her personality that makes the man feel special and different and that will interest him for the long-term.

They make it sound as if this is something new.... Sorry, but haven't we recognised all along that looks aren't everything, and even if someone is good looking, if they're boring, it's a no-no?

So, how do you create the kind of experience that will have him wanting to settle down with you? By creating “Intellectual Attraction.” If man feels a deep level of intellectual attraction to you, he will simply want to spend time with and commit to you.

THis is what a man means when he says "I love your Mind".

Gosh, but this is old news in a bright new shiny packaging!

In my eBook Catch Him & Keep Him, I share step-by-step ways to create the kind of experiences that build intellectual attraction.

Aaaaaah! Now I get it!! And there you have it!

The final sell to get you to buy a book telling you something you've known about, all along.

It's "The Secret" all over again!! :D

eHarmony is a cesspool for middle aged women who can't accept that their use by date is long past; the article is just another attempt to get them to try and spend some of their hard stolen alimony on more worthless advice.

Don't waste too much time agonizing over it.

Men are wired to respond to a woman who behaves in what is often referred to as a 'traditional female role' and like it or not, that wiring isn't gonna change any time soon. The more a girl acts like a 24 year old version of her Grandma and less like Paris Hilton the more likely a man is to take her seriously as marriageable. Someday I will corrupt and marry an Amish girl.

Men are wired to respond to a woman who behaves in what is often referred to as a 'traditional female role' and like it or not, that wiring isn't gonna change any time soon. The more a girl acts like a 24 year old version of her Grandma and less like Paris Hilton the more likely a man is to take her seriously as marriageable. Someday I will corrupt and marry an Amish girl.

surely that's a contradiction (thank god). if you want to corrupt her first it means you don't like her being a 24-year-old version of your grandma.

I think any man that has a problem with modern women is a wuss

THis is using normal words in inverted commas to make them look and sound as if they mean "something really special" when in fact, all the author is suggesting, is that you play a type of "mind game".. (see what I did there....? )

haha you do crack me up geisha. always to the point, no mercy

Not interesting and it won't work-not for the long haul.

Certainly there may be some men out there who would initially be attracted. But they'd be attracted anyway as initial attraction is based on looks.

And if this woman is actually advising other women to "act" instead of be themselves it is unbelievable in this day and age.

In order to have a fulfilling and LASTING relationship both parties have needs that must be met. Acting like someone else will not get your needs met and it will eventually become quite difficult to keep up the facade.

What can a woman do? Invest in herself and see herself as valuable whether single or in a relationship. Do things that she finds joy in. Stay active and really learn to love who she is.

Then, when dating a man, she will be a strong confident person. That is attractive in itself and certainly captivating to most men.

It is absolutely a better recipe for a successful long term relationship than this e-book. Should I get $ for that now...?

Sheesh.

surely that's a contradiction (thank god). if you want to corrupt her first it means you don't like her being a 24-year-old version of your grandma.

 

I think any man that has a problem with modern women is a wuss

By corrupt I mean (clearly) "cause her to marry someone outside her faith" since there's no way in hell I"m going Amish, if that's even possible. If the truly ineffective 'wuss' shaming attempt is the best argument you've got well, carry on being 'empowered' and cultivate that love of cats.

What can a woman do?

Shorthand version: Learn to cook.

Should I get $ for that now...?

 

Sheesh.

Add about 70,000 words of useless anecdotal yabble and cheesy humour, and you've gotten yourself a deal!!

Add about 70,000 words of useless anecdotal yabble and cheesy humour, and you've gotten yourself a deal!!

FUNNY!!!

Yeah, men are attracted to our personalities.

Interesting article.

 

http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=2219&cid=2091&aid=010701

The most common reason relationships end? Fundamental differences in values and relationship goals.

Other times, timing and circumstances can really screw up an otherwise beautiful relationship.

Yeah, men are attracted to our personalities.

It's funny but you are correct - really men are pretty simple, and I don't mean in the Forrest Gump way, but rather in the easy to figure out what we want way. Hell, we will tell you most of the time, and you can figure out the rest by what we look at.

Unless you are referring to your boobs as your personalities, in which case ... still correct.

Shorthand version: Learn to F_ _ _! I say, cooking not my gig.

I have read Christian Carter for sometime, and some theories I have take from him, Put yourself first, work on yourself, you cant fix anyone else,

Now mind you there is nothing to fix, bbbuuutttt The saying the minute you quit looking for a man to fullfill your needs, it the minute they are standing at the door, in a line!

Shorthand version: Learn to F_ _ _!

I hate to break the news to you but that's not really a terribly difficult skill to master and therefore only differentiates you from the fraction of a percent with serious sexual hangups.

Cooking and other general housewife skills on the other hand are practically a lost art. Cooking isn't a lot of other womens 'gig' anymore either.

Hands up those ladies here who know how to gut a fish, or both pluck and prepare a chicken?

I can.

There will doubtless be some, but I suspect they won't be in the prime of their youth......

I don't require a woman to cook for me as I do it pretty well, but when they do - its damned appreciated. Even if they're not that experienced, having to read a recipe and trying their best - its the thought and effort that count.

Cooking together? Now that's fun.

Women don't cook because some are more career types and don't make the time to learn how. Also cooking was often associated with being submissive and the last generation of moms wanted their girls to go out and not be a house wife - so they were never taught or never had any interest.

Hands up those ladies here who know how to gut a fish, or both pluck and prepare a chicken?

I can.

 

There will doubtless be some, but I suspect they won't be in the prime of their youth......

I don't know how to gut a fish, nor will I ever care to learn, but I can pluck and prepare a chicken. I also know how to drive a tractor. Just some useless information.

"The best way to sweep a room is with a glance".

"Housework never killed anybody.

But why take the risk?"

The fastest way to our hearts is by feeing us. Keeping our hearts ablaze is simple.

There's no sure fire way to catch or keep a man. He's either into you, as is, or he's not.

The difference between the actions of a man who's all in v. a man who's not, is stunning, when put side by side. The right match, is the better gauge, rather than pretending to be someone else or playing drama games.

Hands up those ladies here who know how to gut a fish, or both pluck and prepare a chicken?

I can.

And you give me crap for hammering a mouse!

And you give me crap for hammering a mouse!

:lmao:

I'd assume the fish and the chicken were already dead before she started.

:lmao:

 

I'd assume the fish and the chicken were already dead before she started.

I'm sure Geishawhelk would agree that killing by proxy is no better, and possibly worse.

And you give me crap for hammering a mouse!

I didn't kill 'em.... and I sure wouldn't do it now I'm a veggie....But in my wild ignorant and turbulent, but well-educated youth - I was taught these things as basic culinary skills.

Now all people have to do is peel off the clingwrap and remove the blue polystyrene trays.