Baileykeg Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I need some advice. I've been dating my boyfriend for 7 months. He has been separated for almost 1.5 yrs. He moved out of state at the beginning of the separation and lived there for over a year. He recently moved back to the area to take a better job. He continues to live separately from his wife. He and I live in separate cities. He and I spend almost every weekend together and talk on the phone 4-5 times a day every day. He says he loves me and wants a future with me but he's not ready to file the divorce papers. He says he is having trouble dealing with the fact that his marriage failed. He says he feels "responsible" for her and wants to make sure that she is happy. He says that he is making steps toward finalizing everything with her but that he needs to do it on his own timetable. He spends every opportunity he can with me. We've had several talks about how to handle our relationship while he is dealing with ending his marriage. We've tried taking time apart or even setting a deadline for things to happen. None of it works for us because we end up calling each other and missing each other terribly. I know he loves me deeply but I just don't know if our relationship will ever be more than it is right now. I told him that I need to know if I'm wasting my time. He just keeps asking for me to hang in there and give him a little more time to get through all of this. I don't know what to do anymore. I requested that he get counseling to which he agreed and started last week. Do I just wait this out and continue to build an even deeper emotional attachemnent with the more time we spend together? I know the decision to end a marriage isn't black and white but in this instance I just don't understand why if you have someone else to make you happy that you want to be with that you wouldn't want to move forward. He says he wants to have children with me and for us to have a future. Link to post Share on other sites
BenThereDunThat Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Bailey - I can completely understand his having a hard time dealing with the failure of his marriage. That's normal. But for a year and a half? And he's got someone he loves by his side? That's not normal. And it isn't fair to you. And what does he mean by he wants to make sure she's happy? Does that mean the separation makes her unhappy? So what is he doing to keep her happy? He's had plenty of time and he knows how you feel. You deserve more. Link to post Share on other sites
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