Questions for OW's about Your MM's

[Joelle]

I'm a curious about MM who have affairs. In the past, I read somewhere that men who earn beyond a certain income had HIGHER incidences of infidelity. I think the income was 80k or 100k annually. That is, men who earn beyond 80k or 100k annually had higher incidences of infidelity than men who earn less. Now please don't quote me on this figure - it's based on my fuzzy recollection.

 

To you OW's, may I ask the following: Is your MM's income over 80k? What is your MM's profession? A businessman or entreprenaur? An attorney? A doctor?

 

I'm just wondering if the idea I read was true, i.e. reality-based.

[alfagrl]

HE WISHES No my ex-MM didn't not earn close to that. But I could see why they say that. They can afford to have a mistress on the side. Put her up in an apartment, taking her on trips.. ect while the wife is busy chating it up w/ gf's at the spa or her own career. It must be easier i guess to cover up his tracks.

[consternation]

I think also that men who earn large amounts of money often may be more likely to work long hours, especially at night, to take business trips and basically be less engaged with their family life and have more opportunities to cheat.

[stoopid_guy]

I think also that men who earn large amounts of money often may be more likely to work long hours, especially at night, to take business trips and basically be less engaged with their family life and have more opportunities to cheat.

That's a fact. It would make it easier with an irregular schedule. They would also be more likely to have more self-confidence that would make them more attractive.

[ladyzero]

I'm not sure I agree with this. My husband works in computing for a fairly large company and he makes not quite 80K. He used to travel quite a lot in a previous job and I know he's never cheated on me (you'd just have to know my husband). But now my MM is also in computing (programmer) and maybe makes half what my husband does. In fact I'm almost positive his wife makes more than he does. So I tend to think it really more depends on the person than what kind of income he's got, though being wealthy and traveling a lot sure makes it easier.

[stillhere]

Yes, my MM earns over 100K a year, in his own business. Plus, he works for the same company i do. We have a seasonal job in construction.

 

He gets up at 4:30am, and doesn't get home until after 9pm usually. She is in bed when he leaves, and in bed when he gets home.

 

Everything he owns is paid for...........EVERYTHING, so it's easy for him to help and support me as well.

[Walking away]

My xMM made way OVER $100K and traveled for a living which allowed him to see me when he was on business trips. It also allowed him to hide his marital status from me.

 

Yeah, he was slick. I didn't know about her and she CERTAINLY didn't know about me.

 

I think the fact that he had alot of money allowed him the ability to woo me and absolutely sweep me off my feet, where other men, who make much less, don't have that luxury.

 

As for the traveling....I believe that if you are at heart a philanderer, traveling will make it much simpler to cover your tracks.

 

I do know many, many men who would never dream of cheating although they, too, travel.

 

I think the basic character of the man is what is telling of a man who cheats vs. a man who doesn't.

 

Money and travel may make it EASIER, but if his character is such that he wouldn't dream of cheating, then he won't.

 

Period.

[silktricks]

I think the high wage earners also tend to be more powerful men. Power is intoxicating, and what greater power is there than to have power over people?

 

Ergo, I think the high wage earners who are mm also tend to be cakemen.

 

('course that's just my opinion and could have zero basis in fact.)

[Joelle]

Thank you for your feedback, Everybody. All your input makes sense.

[Love2share]

My MM is a businessman who travels a lot. He owns several houses in different states. Because of his work, there are seasons when he and his wife are living in different houses in different states. During those times, he and I spend more time together. It's normal for him to fly me out to wherever he is to spend a day, days, or weekends together. If he didn't have a lot of money, this wouldn't be possible. And he earns well over $500K a year.

[owcanbhppy]

while the salaries sound good, money doesnt go that far. im pushing 80, mm is more than 3 times that. 3 kids, private school the kind of home, car expected to keep up images...its true, the more you make the more you spend. you have to! mm has help me in the past, but even where he is, couldnt keep us all going, & i know i couldnt in the mid 70s.

 

happy, but not kept ow.

[Provider]

My situation is different, of course, since men with money are my livelihood. But I have a client who makes a ton of money but is at heart a down-to-earth kind of guy. His wife is a bank president, so between the two of them they have lots of money and are living the country club lifestyle, and it's killing him. He loves his (brand spanking new full-size) pickup truck but has a luxury sedan as well because of the "image" he needs to project in his professional life. He likes to go to a public golf course in a tshirt and cutoffs and knock back a few beers with his friends and play a couple of rounds, while his professional life requires him to go to the private country club to play.

 

Most of my clients are financially comfortable but not in an outwardly obvious way. They obviously have a good deal of disposable income if they're coming to see me or any other woman in my position, but most of them are business owners or salesmen who are able to use their jobs as excuses to get away. Still, I wonder how their wives would feel knowing they're giving me money to do the things they won't do with their husbands. Maybe it'd make them put out a little more.

[Blind Illusion]

 

Ergo, I think the high wage earners who are mm also tend to be cakemen.

 

('course that's just my opinion and could have zero basis in fact.)

 

Hmmm...very good point about them being the CakeEaters. I agree there. Plus those are probably the ones that don't want to disrupt their livestyles with hefty alimony and child support payments so I can see them remaining like this longer.

 

Anyhow, in answer to the original poster's question, the MM I was involved with made about 80K a year and traveled for business and made sales calls. In other words, he had oodles of unaccountable or unpredictable time.

[yesmaybe]

I disagree. Men of all walks of life cheat. But, wealthier men tend to have trophy mistresses and 2nd and 3rd wives...which probably makes them stand out more.

 

My MM makes over $100K/year plus expatriate benefits. His assets are astronomical. But he doesn't seem outwardly wealthy, and has never given me $$. His money has almost zero factor in our relationship.

[scarletletter]

My MM makes about 100K a year. We have never really discussed it, but I know by where he works and what he does that he probably is in that range. He is a director at a very large national company. He doesn't travel that much for his job but his wife thinks that he does. I travel alot with my job so he goes along and tells her that it is for HIS job. Now that the divorce proceedings have started in their marriage, I don't think its going to matter anymore what he tells her.