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What is considered an "emotional" affair?

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Old 1st September 2005, 11:06 PM   #1
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Red face What is considered an "emotional" affair?

Okay so I've been on LS for a long time and posted a lot and though this will probably sound really dumb but .......

I'm a little unsure as to what qualifies as an "emotional" affair (I understand a full affair, intimacy, ect) but I guess I'm unsure as to what the majority (or anyone for that matter) would consider as an emotional affair.

Would someone please clue me in on this....?!!?!
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Old 1st September 2005, 11:11 PM   #2
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no physicality to the relationship, but emotionally, Person A is dependent on Person B. It's kind of hard to distinguish between sharing your story or problems with a friend of the opposite sex and having an emotional affair because on the outside, they both look alike, but I think the affair is all consuming, kind of like a soap opera, maybe? You need that person's input, responses, interest, etc ...
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Old 1st September 2005, 11:23 PM   #3
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You are involved in each others lives in every way except sexually. You really enjoy being around each other and feel sad if you can't see them. You think about them often and need that closeness and contact with them. It is like loving them but not being in-love with them, if that makes sense.
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Old 2nd September 2005, 12:38 AM   #4
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I have an example of an emotional affair-- My ex boyfriend, he worked nights in security along side this girl who was married. Well, it got to where he talked about her constantly, he knew all about her sex life with her husband and how it sucks, and when he suggested she get a perm, she got a perm, and lost weight. Then I found out he and her would go out to the casino's or to lunch when they got off work, without mentioning anything to her husband or myself. He started distancing himself from me, and thats when I got suspicious. I found out he did care for her a great deal, and that she was considering on leaving her husband for my boyfriend. He swore up and down there wasn't anything romantic about it, and says it wasn't an affair, but an affair doesn't always consist of only sex. He formed feelings for someone who was married...and even admitted that he suggested she leave her husband.

As I said, he's my ex boyfriend, but it does still hurt knowing about the affair. I've called it an affair..even if there wasn't any physical contact between the two of them.
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Old 2nd September 2005, 4:54 AM   #5
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Thank you very much for taking the time to respond. I wanted to make sure that in fact I did completely understand what an would/could be considered an emotional affair.

TiggerLove........I'm sorry that you went through what you's normal to still feel the "sting" or pain of being cheated on (even if not physically) by someone you trust being cheated on in a relationship is a real violation of the closeness and bond that the partners worked to build...and even when it's over the memory of being violated doesn't always go away.
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Old 2nd September 2005, 7:32 AM   #6
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Here are some other other ideas on emotional affairs, as well.
Take what is handed to you, and hand it back twice...
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Old 2nd September 2005, 9:33 AM   #7
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Anytime one person of a couple (read, married spouse) begins emotionally investing in someone (normally of the opposite sex) other than their spouse. When they begin hiding their involvement with this other person from their spouse, when they begin sharing things of an emotional or verbally sexual nature with this other person that SHOULD have only have been shared with their spouse.

I think you've read my story over on the infidelity board. My wife began an online emotional affair with someone she'd never met in person. While they'd never met, the emotional attachment that became so great that when confronted, they both agreed to make arrangements for her to come live with him. Perhaps this can demonstrate how seriously damaging to a marriage these kinds of attachments can be.

Hope this makes some sense to you.
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Old 3rd September 2005, 5:03 PM   #8
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I'm not sure if I had an emotional affair with some of the physical affair aspects. We became very close, even went to the movies and late dinners, etc. But each time we were alone, we got more physical. It started as friendly hugs, then a kiss on the lips and then french kissing. It then went on to everything but intercourse. That's when we decided we needed to end it or our lives and family lives would be ruined. Since we didn't actually sleep together I don't think it is a full blown affair, but I may be kidding myself.
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