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Bff cheated once and guy said he loves her.


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So my bff is married for ten years. Her and her hubby agreed long ago to give each other a one time pass. She doesn't have many good friends other than me and has never been with another man her whole life other than a Little light dating and kissing. So she always has felt alone and abandoned by people her whole life. Several of her past good friends and her best friend from high school keep leaving her without much of a good reason why. Even her birth parents who say they regret giving her up kept her brother a year latter and her sister 3 years later. Her husband and her went through a rough last 4 years and became more room mates than spouse's and he became emotionally detached and angry, blaming her for list of the problems and it really helping with their child and around the house. Things had become REALLY stale and with lots of money issues and having to live with husband parents for last 6 years has been rough. She also has lots if body image issues and feels ugly and undesirable even by her husband who isn't all that affectionate at the time. So this guy who has been having issues with his wife treating him like a prisoner like not even allowing him to have a Facebook page or do anything with freinds she doesn't approve of has been friends with her for years has been telling her all his relationship issues and how husband wife treats him. She sympathizes with him and one day tells him to just tell her no and enough is enough. Few weeks go by if talking and stuff and some light flirting and sexual innuendo go by and he tells her that he needs to **** her and wants her bad. She isn't sure how to take it but likes it cause she hasn't had anybody ever say this to her other than her hubby. She told her hubby about it and he said it would be fine if she wanted to since they haven't been with anyone else in there lives and are together forever. So few weeks go by heavy sexting and flirting, and eventually they had a quick session if kissing and fondling, followed by a BJ, he came and they left the bathroom and went separate ways. She told her hubby who ended up with mixed feelings about it. He told her it was her decision but he wanted it to end but she could sext and talk to him for a while but would prefer it to stop. A few weeks go by of sexting and talking. In thus time some other guy friend gave her money for something she gave him and the other guy we will call SB ( side boy) got jealous until he found out why. Then the other day this guy cornered her in a room and they made out. She realized it was a mistake and pulled away and said she couldn't do it again cause she lives her husband. But during the kissing SB said he loved her. And when she started talking about DH ( Dear hubby) he said he doesn't want her to talk about her DH or say his name. Then later at lunch he overheard her talking to her hubby about some heavy stuff and asked later if everything was ok with her and DH. He also sometimes texts her first out of the blue and told her recently before the kiss that he thinks about her alot and masturbates to her and wants kiss her frequently. She thinks it was just a fluke but I told her it's more than that and this guy actually has feelings for her even though she told him this was just a physical thing and not going any where. Just looking for opinions on wether this guy has real feelings for her. He has become more concerned about her feelings of late as well and offered to take her to lunch and buys her coffee and food sometimes. So she has no feelings for this guy but wonders if he really has feelings for her.

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somanymistakes

Reassure her that no, not really.

 

He wants an escape, he wants attention and affection, and he knows she's potentially willing because she did it once. He's attracted to her, and he may well like her, but this is an attraction built out of desperation, not love.

 

However, it could easily get messier if she keeps spending time with him and having deep conversations with him. It's really better for both of them to block him and nip things in the bud so she can focus on her marriage and he can decide whether he wants to focus on his or to get out of his and go look for an actual single girlfriend.

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